Selfish Parents

I can’t imagine parents who would use their children as an excuse to hurt his or her spouse when their marriages are in turmoil. I hate that. Pity the children. No matter what ages they are. The younger ones will hurt the most, as they don’t understand what’s happening between their parents while the older ones resorted to ‘unhealthy solicitation’ with things that we don’t even want to comprehend.

A friend of mine (Firah) is having the same problem. Well, not her exactly but her cousin. Her cousin is married to a lazy, younger man. They have a cute 3 year old girl together named Balqis. Because the father didn’t want to work, the mother would be making kuih and selling them to people. The father stayed at home and slept until the sun was on top of his head, metaphorically speaking. When she got home, he’d be asking his wife for food, drinks, and the list goes on and on. This cousin of hers relented to all his whims. I guess as she is older than him, she tends to ‘mother’ him sometimes.

Firah’s mother couldn’t stand to see the man bossing her niece around that she took the family under her wing so that they could work; well basically to force her husband to work. Firah’s cousin was asked to help cook for Firah’s mother’s food stall. At first it went all right. The husband was working as a driver, Firah’s cousin cooked while Balqis went to kindergarten. But it was too good to be true. Soon after, the husband began giving all sorts of lazy reasons and stopped working. He went back to his hometown in Thailand and forced Firah’s cousin to come back with him. At first she didn’t want to, but because “cinta itu buta”, she went back home leaving her daughter behind because she was schooling. Balqis had come to love staying with Firah and her mother. From a thin toddler, she had grown to be quite chubby. Firah’s mother adored her.

One day, Firah’s cousin came to the house to fetch Balqis. What does a 3-year old toddler knows? She was just excited to see her mother so when her mother said that she wanted to take her back to Thailand, she didn’t mind. Firah’s mother was crying because she couldn’t believe that her niece had given in to her lazy husband’s whims. So, both mother and daughter went back to Thailand and rented a small room with her husband that only has a mat for sleeping (previously they stayed with Firah’s grandmother, but her grandmother couldn’t take it anymore – because of the lazy husband – and kicked them out of the house). People knew where she stayed and tried to take her back to her grandmother’s house, but her husband blackmailed her saying that if she leave him, he would keep Balqis and she will not get to see her at all. So, there was nothing much that she could do.

Months passed by and one day, Firah’s mother went back to Thailand to visit her mother. Word got round to Balqis. She cried wanting to see Firah’s mother. So, the mother gave in and allowed her to see Firah’s mother (the husband wasn’t around; Firah heard that he has become a “pengedar” for ecstasy pills – easy money). When Firah’s mother saw Balqis, both she and her mother cried; Balqis was thin and burning hot with fever. From a chubby toddler, she had grown thin. And she was sick. Firah’s mother took her to the clinic. Balqis didn’t want to go back to her mother. She was so happy to see Firah’s mother that she hugged her like as if she didn’t want to let go.

When Firah told me, I was angry. Angry at Firah’s selfish cousin and her husband. I can’t bear to see a child get hurt while the parents squabble, at HER expense. I mean, she didn’t have much to eat and she was sick, but did her mother send her to the doctor’s? Nooo!! She didn’t. Now how selfish is that? I know that a wife’s position is next to her husband but at the expense of her child? …[sigh]… I don’t know. I guess I’m being a little paranoid because I myself am a parent. If I don’t have Marsya, maybe then I wouldn’t be so emotional about it. Some people may think, “Alah.. anak baru sorang dah nak emosi lebih-lebih pulak,” well what to do. That’s parts and parcels of being a parent. I mean, who would have thought that I would have this sort of compassion for other babies and children that are strangers to me.

Firah told me that her mother was returning to Malaysia tonight. Balqis was putting all her clothes in a plastic bag and was carrying it around Firah’s mother, hoping that Firah’s mother would bring her back. But Firah’s mother sent her back to her mother’s before she left. She couldn’t bear to see the child cry. I can’t help but feel an awful pain for Balqis. I don’t know what’s going to happen to her. I told Firah to bring her back home to Malaysia, but I know that is not possible. Not when her father is in control of the situation. It’s just so sad.

Paheli

I haven’t been watching any Hindi movie lately because none of them seems appealing enough for me to spend about three hours of my time in front of the TV. Besides, the new actors these days are just so new, hence, I have no interest to watch Hindi movies.

However, I was reading the entertainment section a few days ago and the movie Paheli (which was aired on RTM 2) caught my eye. It starred Shah Rukh Khan and Rani Mukherji. “Now, here’s a movie worth watching”, I thought. Since my Astro is still a bit off due to last week’s thunder and lightning, I couldn’t very well watch Lost on AXN. So, Paheli was just the right thing to see.

The first thing which made me attentive was the colours. Paheli which was based on an Indian folk tale, used a lot of wonderful striking colours and these made Paheli even more interesting.

The movie was about a young newly-wed who were on their way back to the bridegroom’s house after the wedding celebration. The entourage stopped at an old monument for a break. A ghost took a liking in the pretty Latchmi (Rani Mukherji) but when he learnt that Latchmi was married to Kishenlal (Shah Rukh Khan) and about to move over to Kishenlal’s house, he suppressed his interest.

Kishenlal is only interested in making money, due to his greedy father’s influence. Though he took a liking to his new bride, he had to restrain himself from touching her as he had to leave the next morning to the city to make more money. So, poor Latchmi, cried herself to sleep, feeling neglected by her new husband.

The next day, on the way to the city, Kishenlal took rest at the old monument. The ghost saw him and was surprised that he was making a trip so soon considering he just got married. So (taking on a physical form of a man) he asked why Kishenlal was leaving his new wife behind. Kishenlal replied that he had to make money and could only come back after 5 years as that was the opportune time to make a lot of wealth, as had been told by his father. The ghost realised the opportunity, took the form of Kishenlal and returned to the village to see Latchmi. Everyone at the village was surprised that Kishenlal had returned especially his father. But Latchmi was over the moon.

When fake Kishenlal finally got to meet Latchmi, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He also felt guilty as he wasn’t the real Kishenlal. But love got the best of him and thereon, the ghost lived with Latchmi as husband and wife; a very loving and romantic husband.

The real Kishenlal worked in the city to make more money for the father. He also felt weird that his father didn’t send him any news. Whenever he tried to send a letter home, there was no reply. The years passed by and one day he realised that he missed his wife. He felt bad about leaving her behind and wanted to make things right. So he made the journey home.

Meanwhile at home, Latchmi was pregnant much to the bewilderment of the fake Kishenlal. He was afraid at the prospect of the baby to be born but he was also happy as he had this love child with Latchmi. Happiness got the best of him until the day the real Kishenlal stepped into the house. It was such an awkward moment when both Kishenlal’s met face to face. Kishenlal’s family was shocked. Latchmi wasn’t aware of this as ironically as it seems, she had to go into forced labour.

A decision had to be made to decide who the real Kishenlal was. This prevented the ghost to see his newborn baby as the villagers were adamant that a decision on the real Kishenlal be formed first.

The villagers met with a shepherd (Amitabh Bachan) who offered to help them. After a few tests, the final test made the fake Kishenlal gave up his true form. The shepherd asked that whoever was the lover of Latchmi must go inside the water bottle. The ghost couldn’t help himself. He knew it was a trap but he was too in love with Latchmi that he surrendered himself and dispersed to enter into the water bottle. The truth was exposed and all the villagers were shocked.

Back at home, Latchmi cried after learning the news and flashes of images of her and the ghost played in her head. When the real Kishenlal finally met up with Latchmi, he hugged her and promised not to leave her again.

Call me a sucker for romantic movies, but yes… I have to admit that I am.

Paheli is very different than any Hindi movie. Unlike Devdas which was so serious and heavy, Paheli is light and entertaining. The songs in the movie were not presented in a typical Hindi movie and the choreography of Farah Khan made the dances unique and interesting to watch (especially at the end of the movie). Paheli illustrated the old culture of India. The clothes they wear, the sport that they used to play, and the close-knitted culture of an Indian family, are all portrayed in Paheli.

This is not a Yash Chopra movie with music composed by AR Rahman, but it had all the ingredients that made it the best movie as at to date. So, go ahead and watch it. For more information, go check out the website http://srk.bollyvista.com/ and scroll down to Paheli’s official website. You won’t be sorry.

Confrontation

I read a friend’s blog the other day about confronting a certain someone about something. She’s not much of a verbal person, but she went on ahead and confronted it anyway. I applauded her for that as I think it takes a lot of courage not to mention guts, to confront someone, especially if that someone is very dear to you.

Well, I had the opportunity to be confronted recently. A friend of mine, someone quite dear to me confronted on something I said. Considering that I am a ‘tak kisah person’, I didn’t think what I had said would actually created a huge impact on him. Well, he was quite upset and called me up to clarify the matters. We talked on the phone. He was where he was, while I was at the Putrajaya Mosque attending a friend’s akad nikah. It was terrible. I have never engaged in such heated arguments with him before. I raised my voice at him. I couldn’t control my temper. I could sense that he was trying to control his temper by not raising his voice. But the tone of his voice reflected the anger that he had towards me.

I paced up and down the aisle of the mosque while looking out for Marsya (she was enjoying the huge space and was running here and there). The phone was in my left hand. I guess that friend of mine was hurt. I was hurt too. I hated that he accused me there and then. He made me look like a culprit of something bad. I guess I was being a little defensive. I couldn’t help it. He questioned my doings like as if I did something terribly wrong.

Him: What did you tell her? Now she has a bad impression of me

Me: Well, we talked about you. I told her stuff about you just like I would have talked about you to another friend.

Him: But you don’t know her as well as you know another friend.

Me: Yes I do. She’s my friend. I was just trying to be nice to set you up with her. But since you didn’t even have the courtesy to call her after the first date, that created an impression by itself. Don’t accuse me of saying bad things about you.

Him: What else did you tell her?

Me: I told her that you went to the wedding with N. And that you fetched N from Klang and bring her all the way to Seremban just to attend Lin’s wedding. Which by the way she already knows. She even knows that you’re going out with N.

Him: What else?

Me: And that she wasn’t aggressive enough like N, and that’s why you prefer her to N.

Him: Some things are being told to you in the strictest confidence. You have no right to talk about me with her.

Me: Well I’m sorry. I didn’t know that it was supposed to be a secret. Besides, who told you? I bet it was N.

Him: You don’t have to know who told me. That’s not important. What’s important is now that you talked to me behind my back.

Me: I know that it has to be N. Who else? How did N know about this? How do you know that she wasn’t exaggerating it? I know that you’re now going out with N, but that is no reason for you to believe everything N said? She knows you for only a couple of months. Whereas you have known me for more than 10 years.

Him: But that does not give you the right to say things about me.

Me: So I’m sorry. What else do you want me to do? The damage is done. Do you want me to say sorry to you for like a lot of time? Go on, tell me what I should do? So, I have admitted. Is that it? You want me to feel bad, right. Well, I’m sorry. What else do you want me to do?

Him: You shouldn’t have talked to her about me. The thing is, if I don’t tell you, you’ll be asking me a lot of questions. But when I do tell you, you just had to inform her.

Me: Look, we weren’t badmouthing you. Why don’t you call her herself and asked her what we talked about concerning you. Don’t talk to me about it.

Him: I hate it when people have bad impressions of me. Now she’s thinking I’m like that, when I’m not.

Me: So, what did she think of you? Is she wrong to form her own opinion of you?

Him: Yes if it’s based on the wrong perception. You have no right.

Me: Why do you care what she thinks anyway? She’s no concern to you.

Him: That doesn’t mean that you can talk about me with her.

Me: You know what. Fine. Don’t tell me anymore anything about you. I’m not interested. You can go out with anyone you want or marry N for all I care, but I’m happy with life. I was only interested in your life coz I thought we were friends. Well, you can forget about telling me stuff already. You can just keep it to yourself. I don’t have to know what’s going on with your life now coz I don’t want to. I have a husband and a baby and that’s already quite a lot for me to handle. So I’m a blabber mouth. Fine, then don’t tell me anymore coz who knows whom I’ll be spilling your stories to next. Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I want to hang up. You need to cool down and I don’t feel like talking when I’m like this. Maybe we talk some other time.

Then I hung up the phone. I was mad (and sad too). I’m sure he was mad at me. [sigh]… I don’t know. Sometimes I talk without thinking, I guess. I didn’t expect the conversation with her was actually being relayed to him through N..!! I admitted to being a bit defensive. But the damage is done. I was truly sorry for saying things that was supposed to be ‘treated in the strictest of confidence’ to the girlfriend of mine. I was just relaying to her my conversation with him just like I was relaying to another friend.

Now we aren’t talking. I don’t know whether we’ll be talking again. Though I told my friend (the one whose blog I read) that we’ll move on, especially if we’re close friends. But in this case, I don’t know. I just don’t know.

A Daughter At The Workplace

From the moment that the HR department announced that a new executive is joining the company, my colleagues never grew tired of teasing me. They would tease me when they see me, when I’m at the ladies and when I was about to go home. So, when the executive finally joined us, everybody smiled at me in that teasing manner.

The new girl sits in front of me. She’s young. Only 27. She was previously attached to a property development company and now she’s joining us. My colleagues would go up to me and ask me, “So, how’s Marsya today?” and I’d be smiling and saying, “She’s fine”. You see, this new girl bears the same name as my daughter’s. Except that hers is spelt with the letter h.

Marsha seems nice. Soft spoken and well…, nice. I don’t know. Maybe because this is her third day here. But I do have a common platform with her. She used to live in Seremban and she used to study at the Sekolah Rendah Convent Seremban before schooling in TKC. Her older sister was also in Convent primary school. Hhmm… perhaps her sister would know some of my friends as I only joined Convent during the secondary era.

Anyway, considering that she’s still new, I am expecting a lot of teasing from my colleagues here until…, I don’t know, perhaps for another month… [sigh]… What to do. I can’t put a patent to Marsya’s name. After all, Marsha was born BEFORE Marsya. So who am I to complain?

Italy Oh Italy

In January, my dearest Bie went to Italy for a 'working trip' with his boss. Well, here I'd like to share some pictures. The above picture is of Bie with his 'entourage' in Milan.

That's him in a water taxi in Venice.

That's him in Venice, in front of some church or something.

This is in Rome. I can't remember what the building's called though. He told me numerous times.

That's him at the Leaning Tower of Pisa (pronounced as pizza... honest)

The one above is of him in front of the Colleseum (not sure about the spelling).

Another Friend Got Married

About two Saturdays ago, a friend of mine, someone quite close to me, got married. I remember when I got married three years ago, she told me that she would not attend the last friend that was getting married because she didn’t want to go alone. She saw herself as not being able to find a boyfriend, let alone get married. I brushed it off almost immediately as I know that she’d find someone in her life. When that time would come, I wouldn’t know as that is Allah’s will.

Well, she met her boyfriend about a year after I got married at a friend’s wedding. She didn’t think that it was serious. But serious or not, she got married to him after two years of seeing him. She was so beautiful on the day that she got married. During her akad nikah, she wore this short blue embroidered kembaya, with a head veil. When I entered her room that night, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was truly beautiful. She is actually a simple girl, small in size with straight, rebonded hair. But that night, she looked stunning. When she prepared herself for the majlis berinai after the akad nikah, she was even more beautiful. Unfortunately, I didn’t take those berinai pictures. As her grandmother is a traditional mak andam, she had the opportunity to wear a huge headdress and went through a few traditional ritual where mak andam-ing is concerned. And they made her look good alright. Even my Ibu admitted it.

I knew Lin back during my Convent days. She was one of those goody-goody girls, who was quite clever in class. She liked reading. So, I would see her with novels ALL the time. With her spectacles and curly hair, she would sit and shove her nose into the books without really looking around her to see who was actually sitting next to her! After SRP, she went to MRSM Taiping, and thereafter, she did her A-Levels in the UK (even before the SPM results were out) at this girls’ school somewhere in Scotland. We maintained friendship (surprisingly) and when I went to the UK to do my degree, we kept in contact. As she was in Norwich, and I was in Newcastle, we couldn’t really see each other a lot. So we were constantly on the phones. As Telewest and other telephone cable operators had this cheap weekend rate, we would always ‘date’ on the phone. I did get to see her when I went to Norwich. We stayed in her room and because it wasn’t a planned sleepover she had to scour her friends’ room to look for extra lenses holders! It was funny.

We remained close friends even after we got back to Malaysia. We would meet up for dinner, breakfast on Sundays, meet after work, or I would go to her Ampang condo, just to hang out. It was wonderful. As I used to work at the KLCC, she would drop by KLCC and we would have dinner there. And we could chit-chat for hours. I know a lot about her love stories, which I think I should not dwell into.

When I got married, she was among the girls who stayed back to do my inai. They had to wait for me until 1in the morning as I was busy posing for the cameraman during the ‘tukar-tukar baju’ event. Lin and the other girls later slept at my house as it was too late to go back. There we were on the tikar at the living room, sleeping. It was good.

When she got married, I had wanted to do the same. In fact, I had taken leave a day before the wedding so that I could help out wherever necessary. But alas, I had to work so I couldn’t attend her wedding. She was upset with me but what could I do. So, the day the akad nikah was held, I left the office at 5.45pm as I needed to go back to Seremban immediately. I had to be there when the akad nikah was being carried out. I was lucky as I reached her house at 9pm together with the groom. So, I managed to be there for the akad nikah.

I’m happy that she’s married. And I truly hope that she’ll be happy with her husband and have lots of wonderful children.

Some Pictures At Frasers Hill

The family at Jeriau Waterfalls

Marsya just woke up (dah kena mandi in the cold weather) so she's not very happy

Marsya and I while waiting for our turn at the poison box game

Marsya all smiling at the open space near the Frasers Silverpark

This is my dearest Bie with Marsya at the clock tower

The Trip To Frasers Hill

Last Saturday I went to Frasers Hill with my colleagues. It wasn’t an official company outing. It was just an informal get together with my friends at work. A friend of mine arranged it. Yants arranged the accommodation, the BBQ dinner (she got another male colleague to help out) and the telematch games. They were really good. I couldn’t attend the telematch though because I came in a bit late that Saturday. We got up at Frasers Hill at 5pm; that’s when the gate opens to go up. If I had arrived at 5.41pm, the guards wouldn’t let me up because that would be the time that vehicles from Frasers Hill were coming down. The road was just a single lane.

The weather was wonderful. It was cool and not hot. As I arrived at 5pm, the temperature hadn’t fallen that much. So it was alright. Marsya was excited to get out of the car. My colleagues saw the car stopped at the reception of Frasers Silverpark Resort and they started to wave like mad. I quickly opened the car door and the cool wind brushed my face. I picked Marsya up and placed her on the ground. She started walking even before I could say the word “Marsya, stop…!!”. I guess she was just too happy to be walking about.

There were about 30 of us. All with maids, children and mothers. Not long everybody was touching Marsya’s face, arm and hand. Since Marsya wasn’t afraid of strangers, they enjoyed playing with her. Zaili led Marsya to the slides, and believe me, Marsya kept on asking for more slides! After the telematch, everyone retired to their rooms to get ready for the BBQ dinner. I finally had the opportunity to check into my apartment.

My first reaction was, “Is this it? Why is it so quiet? Where are the rest of the tourists?”. Kim and I were the only ones staying at block A1. The rest was in A2. I had an eerie feeling as I stepped out of the lift. As Bie opened the door, my mouth couldn’t stop reciting the Kursi. I entered the room and inspected its contents. It was just like any normal 1-bedroom studio apartment. There were two sofas, a large cupboard, a double bed, and the kitchen. I checked the bathroom. Not really something that I expected. It wasn’t as cozy as any other hotel bathrooms that I had been to (I loved Equatorial Bukit Jambul in Penang. Best..!). But I had to make do with it whether I like it or not. I quickly unpacked and bathed myself before I bathed Marsya. At 8pm, we went down for the BBQ dinner.

The dinner was good. The selection of food was nice. There was lamb, chicken, prawns, fish, sausages, coleslaw, fried rice, spaghetti, and corn. They were good. But I couldn’t enjoy them as much as I had wanted to because Marsya was walking everywhere. My dearest Bie and I had to alternately feed ourselves so that we could look out for Marsya. When the group photo was taken (well, I would say partial group photo as not everybody was in it), I was breastfeeding Marsya underneath the stars behind a fir tree! It was 10.30pm and I guess Marsya’s tantrums meant that she was sleepy. So, we retired to our room.

In the room, I had to slowly take off Marsya’s pants and jacket because they were dirty. Luckily she didn’t wake up. After that, I thought of watching Cerekarama with Bie, but soon after, I was nodding to sleep myself. So, I went to bed. I slept until about 7am. In fact, I had a good sleep, despite the initial eerie feeling I had when I entered the room. Marsya also slept soundly. She woke up twice for her morning breastfeeding, but it wasn’t such a sleep-disturbance because I just fed her naturally (the beauty of breastfeeding).

The next day, we went down to the café for breakfast. The selection wasn’t really happening. I still remember the Istana hotel breakfast buffet. The selection was among the best. A friend of mine vomited because she had too much to eat. Anyway, the morning scenery at Frasers Hill was breathtaking. It was cool and there was mist everywhere. After breakfast, we went for sightseeing at Frasers Hill. We drove to the Jeriau waterfalls (and climbed the long steps down just to touch the waterfall water) and stopped by at the clock tower to take pictures. Then we went back to the room to pack our stuff.

At 2pm, the gate to go down Frasers Hill opened. I was kind of sad. I loved the cool weather. Leaving Frasers Hill meant that I couldn’t breathe in the fresh air anymore.

Back at the office, my colleagues shared a story that made some of us here tremble. Fadz brought along her mother to the trip. At 2am, her mother was rudely woken. She stared at the foot of her bed and saw two figures, clad in white telekung looking at her. She was shocked and screamed, “Allahu Akbar!”. One of the specters disappeared. She screamed again, repeating Allahu Akbar. Then the remaining specter disappeared. Apparently, that was the only incident that took place among our small entourage. I was thankful. My family had a good sleep and we were lucky because those night visitors did not visit us at 2am to say hi…

Will post pictures soon.

The Many Faces of Marsya Hazirah

Tengoklah tu. Orang naik basikal, dia pun nak naik gak. Here she is with Yana on the bicycle.

This is when we went to Aunt Yamm's house for raya. She was just so eager to go to the camera and grab it off my hands. She is wearing a baju kurung here, dijahit khas oleh Uwan Cik dia.

Nie lagi satu tengah protest. She didn't want to sit in the pushchair so here, she was screaming her heart out.

I was washing the clothes and tengah sidai baju kat balcony. Dia sibuk nak ikut aku sidai baju sekali. And lately, she has a thing for this small baldi. So without I realised it, she fell into the baldi (takde air tau). At first she cried, then she stopped crying (meraih simpati jer sebenarnya) and enjoyed the scenery while eating a biscuit sambil kaki goyang2. As you can see, siap jilat tangan and jari tu...

Baru-baru ni, when I got back from work, Marsya was wearing Nurul's tudung. She looked happy in it and Bie just couldn't resist but take her pictures. Here she was waving to her Abi as her Abi takes her picture.

There are more to come.. latest ones... tungggguuu...

The Fours That Came And Went

I have been tagged by a friend to actually list down all the ‘fours’ that I have done throughout my entire 29 years of life. Well, here goes…


Four Jobs I Have In My Life

Currently working at a property development company (not listed by the way) in a department called Corporate Planning and Business Development. I have been here for more than 5 years now. Maybe it’s time for me to move on. To greener pastures and hopefully better pay… considering that petrol price has increased by 20% and my pay isn’t really heading towards that direction. But we’ll see. All in good time (what am I rambling about…)

Worked with an advisory company somewhere in Maxis Tower, KLCC. I did a bit of corporate finance. I find it highly fascinating. Not only was my office kind of cool, but the work was also very challenging. But alas, I couldn’t stay there long. Some people there made me want to bring a gun to work (joke lah…). So I resigned.

As a highly respected cleaner at ETAM, Eldon Square in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne. It was a 3 times a week job which started as early as 6am. So I would wake up at 5am and walk all the way to the City centre and enter Eldon Square through a backdoor. There were two cleaners there. There was me, and a local lady (who wasn’t very friendly – she didn’t talk to me much). I usually alternate my duties with the local lady. If she did the top floor, I would be doing the ground floor. But I don’t know why I had to clean the toilet all the time. What to do; makan gaji lah katakan.

As a temporary teacher in a primary school in Seremban. I was only 19 so my students (the standard six ones) were very nice to me, especially the boys. They would wait for me after school and carry my books and walked home with me. And when I finished teaching there, they bought me gifts.

Four Movies I Can Watch Over and Over

Sabrina – starring Harrison Ford, Julia Ormond and Greg Kinear. I love this movie. I know that it’s actually a remake of the old one, but I guess I love this new version.

Pretty Woman – starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gear. I LOVE this movie and can watch it over and over again.

The Wedding Singer – starring Drew Barrymore, Adam Sandler and a few others. I like the 80’s setting and the big hairdo and Sandler is so funny in the movie

All the Bujang Lapok series (especially Bujang Lapok). I can watch all of them over and over and over again.

There are actually many other movies that I can watch over and over again. For example, Dil To Pagal Hai and Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. But the above are currently at the top of my head. They’re light and entertaining and are highly suitable if you just want to rest your mind and head.

Four TV Shows I Love To Watch

CSI Miami (I like Horatio) and Vegas (I don’t like CSI New York).

Charmed – what to do. I just love all the three sister. The Power of Three is waaaayyy coool. I sometimes wish that I myself am a sexy witch.

Lost – Except that I didn’t see the last episode of the first season and dahlah nak tunjuk the second season. I know that AXN kept on showing re-runs but I always seem to miss it.

Sitcoms like Friends (my favourite), Everybody Loves Raymond (I just love Marie and her superiorness but I hate the father; obnoxious giler..!!) and That 70’s Show (but it’s not shown now.. too bad)

Four Places I've Lived

Seremban, Shah Alam, and Kuala Lumpur tu considered as one place ker? Well, if yes, then I have stayed there and am currently living in Kuala Lumpur.

Fenham in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne (that’s when I did my degree and is one of my favourite living place)

Saltley in Birmingham (that’s when my Ayah did his Phd – I loved staying here. Wouldn’t mind staying here again)

Can I just have three as I don’t think I have lived anywhere else except for the above.

Four Places I've Been On Vacation To

Nearly all of the places in the UK except for the Northern Ireland. From Scotland to Wales to Land’s End to the Midlands, etc. I love all places. So yes, I consider myself to have gone on vacation on all those cities and towns.

Bits of Europe. This was during the time when Ayah did his Phd. It was just before the end of the summer holidays back in 1988. We drove to Dover and got on the ferry to Calais. From there onwards, we went camping to various parts of Europe. We went to France, Amsterdam, West Germany (at that time East Germany was still a communist country), Luxembourg and Switzerland. The best place was Switzerland. We camped near the Lake Geneva and the view was tremendously beautiful. I loved it very much. We also managed to go to Mont Blanc (not all the way to top; just at the foot of the hill). The holidays were fantastic. We learnt a lot of things especially about the European people and their culture. Heck, we even dropped our pillows whilst on the way to Dover and we only realised it when we reached Calais.

Concorde Hotel in KL on new year of 2003. It was one of the best vacation ever. I suppose you can call it our honeymoon because we just got married a few days before.

Sutera Beach Resort in Terengganu. It was alright.

Four Places I'd Rather Be In

At this moment, right now, I’d rather be at home with my Dearest Bie and baby, just lazing.

Otherwise, I’d rather be in a first class plane to Spain for a 2-week holiday with my Dearest Bie and baby.

Or, be sitting on the pathway of the Great Wall of China while watching Marsya running here and there.

Or take Marsya on one of those baby rides in Disneyland, California.

Four of My Favourite Food

Chicken Monterey at Chillies.

Thai Food at D’Cheng Mai in Sungai Buloh (the best Thai food in the Klang Valley as agreed by my Thai friend).

Mud Pie at TGI (fantastic I tell you. It’s all chocolatey with bits of oreo in the centre…pendekata, the best dessert I have had so far)

Curry laksa at Little Penang.

Actually banyak lagi, but the above 4 are among the best. In fact, my friend’s baked macaroni pun best.

Four Websites I Visit Daily

Google.com (very effective search engine).

The Star online.

Virgin radio – the music that we all love.

Pah’s and Yamm’s blog.

Four Victims To Do This Tag

No one in particular coz if suruh pun, I doubt whether they’d do it. But these are the people that I want:

Murni

Min.

Makcik.

Zha.

Sometimes Having Relatives …Sucks

Ibu called me yesterday and told me that an aunt of mine has defaulted on her JPA loan, which she used when she furthered her studies (thank goodness, locally). And as Ibu was the guarantor, the lawyer’s letter went to her. Apparently, no one knows where Aunt MU lives now. Since her husband passed away more than 3 years ago, she has re-married (she’s now a second wife to some KP in Perlis somewhere) and we all have kind of lost contact with her. Even her kids do not know where she is. You see, the kids were closer to the arwah as opposed to her. I pity her children. All three girls are fully grown up now. The youngest I think is 18 years of age (I think so. I mean, I haven’t seen them for ages). And they are good girls. Recently, the grandmother who took care of them passed away due to heart complications. Now, I don’t know what happened to the girls. It’s lucky that they’re bright. So I think they would do well and prosper in life, Insya-Allah.

Ibu expressed her sadness and disappointment that Aunt MU defaulted on her loan. She was worried at the thought that she may have to start paying for the loan. I advised her accordingly (and hope that Ayah finds Aunt MU to give her his piece of mind). When my Uncle passed away, she was worried that she couldn’t get her hands on the EPF money as she had these girls to care for. I can understand her worries because education is expensive these days. Ayah did the necessary and the EPF monies were given to her, as custodian for her kids. Ibu was there to console her. She was constantly on the phone with Ayah and Ibu seeking comfort and advice.

But now this happens. I am very mad.

Bila nak kita tolong, sungguh baik hati, tapi sekarang..??

I am seriously upset at own relatives doing these sort of things. In fact, this issue about default on loan is just the tip of the iceberg. There are many other issues but I don’t want to touch on them. Let them be embedded in my head for me to think alone (well, I sometimes let it out at my Dearest Bie or friends. I can’t help it. I’m like a pressure cooker – sometimes).

Well, whatever it is, I truly hope that Allah will always protect me and my family. I pray that Allah protects my Intan Payung 14 month old baby from any harm and misgivings. I also pray that Bie, my parents, my in-laws and my siblings are sheltered and always in the protection and guidance of Allah, Insya-Allah…

He Is Back..!!

At the time that you’re reading this email, my Dearest Bie has already returned to Malaysia. Cuma malas nak update. Anyway, he's jet lagged and all and very tired. He came back on Wednesday, 8 February 2006, instead of the original Tuesday. He and the gang decided to extend one more day in Amsterdam because when they reached Amsterdam, it was already late and the shops have already closed. Not wanting to miss the winter sales in Amsterdam, his boss decided to extend one more day which was of course unanimously agreed with the rest of the gang. I was a little upset when I learnt that he was only coming back the next day, but as the day picked up, I was alright with it. As long as he came back, then I was fine.

The morning finally arrived. I was a little excited. At 7.30am as I was waiting for the red light to turn green at the Stadium Paroi junction, I received a phone call. My Dearest Bie has checked out and was currently having coffee at Delifrance. I was ecstatic. I drove rather quickly (BUT still within the speed limit) and reached KLIA around 8.20am. I parked my car at the side of the road where the arrival hall is and went out. I scoured through the crowd looking for him. But I couldn’t find him. As I walked to and fro near the car, I saw him. He was wearing his Mickey Mouse t-shirt and grayish bluish pants. I maintained my excitement. In my head, I saw myself running to him and jumping on him with my legs entwined about his waist. BUT, that didn’t happen. Of course I wouldn’t do that. Not with my 3 inches new high heel (I recently bought to make myself feel better at the thought of Bie enjoying himself in Italy). He pushed his trolley towards me and asked me to open the car boot. I did so and he arranged his luggage in the car boot. I went back into the car and he joined me at the passenger seat. Then I salam his hands and said, “Welcome home”.

I took him for breakfast at the mamak shop in Senawang. He had roti telur while I had roti kosong banjir. It was fun seeing he ate. He seemed to enjoy the food. Yerlah, more than 10 days of just eating pizza is hardly something to brag about. Although he did tell me that he had kebab and a briyani sort of rice in Amsterdam (a lot of Moslems there) so it wasn’t entirely pizza all the way. When we got back, Ayah bought soto lagi for breakfast. And surprisingly, he ate the soto as well. Like as if he didn’t have any breakfast already, walhal dah makan roti telur earlier on.

After showing me the handbags that he bought for me, he slept and didn’t wake up until 5.30pm. Marsya was happy to see him. She didn’t want to let go of him when he picked her up.

We went back to KL the next day. He sent me straight to the office. In the car, he spoke a lot of things that he did and saw while he was in Italy and Amsterdam. I did feel a little jealous with all his stories, but I tried to suppress it. It wasn’t healthy.

So there you have it. Bie is back. He bought a lot of stuff. Well, basically they’re for his parents, my parents, my siblings, his siblings, Maksu’s family and little trinkets and souvenirs for his friends. The nice part was that each time he bought something, there was always an extra. He knew that I would have wanted it for myself as well, so he bought an extra for me. So, I got an extra of everything (except for the green scarf which I didn’t like. He anticipated it and gave it to his mother).

His boss liked the Italy holiday. And in June, his boss is thinking of going to the States. That kind of worried me because there is a small possibility that his boss will invite my Dearest Bie to this trip. However, this is not confirmed yet. It’s all too soon to say anything. My Dearest Bie dah pening kepala. Not pening at the prospect of going to the States, that one, he said it’ll be cool. But the thought of my antics is what he is worried about. This means that he would have to layan my antics which would probably be a lot worse compared to the time he went to Italy. What to do. Anything to ambil my hati. And he knows that.

Lost Everything

I watched the Three Musketeers last night, the one that starred Kiefer Sutherland and Chris O’Donnel. Though it’s an old movie, I only managed to watch it last night. And it was good. I love it. Well, I have always loved period drama anyway (I can watch Sense and Sensibility over and over again without feeling bored). So, at about 3.30am, after the movie ended, I made my way to the bedroom, switched on the table lamp, snuggled in my blanket, switched off the air-condition and turn on the fan, I fiddled with my mobile. Well, it isn’t actually mine. The mobile is Bie’s. I am using it because my mobile doesn’t show any display (courtesy of Marsya throwing it on the floor). So it’s kind of difficult to read text messages or to make phone calls, as I can’t see anything on the display. Since my Dearest Bie is in Italy, I am using his. It’s a Motorola camera phone. Not the latest model though but still with too many features for my liking. But I went ahead and use it anyway.

Before closing my eyes to sleep, my hands sajer gatal bukak inbox. I wanted to see all the text messages that I have in my inbox. You see, my sim card memory isn’t very big but I still manage to keep important text messages for my viewing pleasure. These text messages were from my Dearest Bie. The days before I got engaged to him, after I got engaged and after we got married. They were my precious text messages. The oldest I have is dated sometime in May 2001 when my grandmother (Ayah’s side) passed away and he was in Manjung. He informed me that he was at the movies and got out a bit late, and that’s why he wasn’t calling. Well, his text messages were more lovey-dovey compared to what I have written here.

Then there’s one where I sent him back home to KL after his visit to Seremban. He sent a text message thanking me for everything. Then there’s the one he sent which he told me that even if I have the biggest backside in the world, he would always love me no matter what. Then there was one that he sent when he had to stay at IOI Puchong for a few nights for training, I think back in March 2003. He sent a text message saying that he missed me. The other one was sent on the first day that I sent Marsya to my aunt’s place. Well, my aunt takes care of Marsya while I’m at work. I was so sad at leaving her behind that I cried in the car on the way to work. I called him up saying that I hated leaving her behind. Well, Bie sent me a text message thereafter saying not to worry and that Marsya’s in good hands.

Anyway, back to the main issue, I was trying to delete some of the messages that weren’t that important. I clicked on one function after the other and let me tell you, this Motorola phone is SO NOT user friendly. I couldn’t find a way to delete the messages. The instructions given were vague and I was afraid that if I clicked on them, all my messages would be erased. But I don’t know why my hands were SO gatal last night. I clicked on an instruction and was SHOCKED to read that all messages have been erased. I quickly went to my inbox to check whether all my precious text messages were still there.

And I sighed with relief; they were still there. So I thought, why don’t I open one message at a time and delete it one by one. I did just that, but when I went back to my inbox, ALL OF THE PRECIOUS TEXT MESSAGES WERE GONE..!! I was stunned. This couldn’t be right. I only deleted one message but why were all the other messages missing. I checked again. No messages. Past memories flashed in my head. I remembered the text messages word by word. And also how they came about. I couldn’t believe that I have actually deleted all the messages in the inbox..!! All the messages that I had taken great care not to delete. I have actually lost them. And the next thing I knew, I was crying (remember that I am STILL recovering from my state of depression). Now everything was gone. The text messages meant a lot to me. Whenever I feel down, I would look up for those messages but now they’re gone. What can I remember them by? I couldn’t very well have saved them elsewhere. I was sad. Sedih sangat-sangat. All those wonderful words gone at a blink of an eye. I don’t remember when I stopped crying but I do know that the last time I looked at the clock, it was already 4.30 in the morning.

Today, I am still sad at the thought that I can no longer look at all those sweet messages. Whenever I think about it, I shrugged it off and proceeded to do something else. You see, those messages were given to me at the spur of that moment. Now I can never capture those moments anymore. Those moments can never be re-winded. They can never be acted out again like some TV shows. The messages are gone and so were all those pure moments.

Is Depressing the Right Word..?

What I’m about to write may make some of you puke.. hehehe, I mean. It’s perfectly natural to feel ‘nak muntah’ with what I’m about to say. Well, here goes… I MISS my Dearest Bie..!! There I have said it.

It has been 6 days since my Dearest Bie went to Italy. His first destination was Rome, then he made his way to Florence, then he took a water taxi to Venice. As we speak, he is currently in Venice. Enjoying himself no doubt. I miss him terribly. I didn’t know that I would feel this terrible miss. But, I am. And it sucks. I hate missing him. I hate the fact that I can’t just call him to know how he’s doing and that I can’t talk for long hours with him over the phone. The first day he reached Rome, he called me once… AFTER six hours he landed..!! I was worried sick. I didn’t have much appetite (percaya tak tu?? Me, the one who eats A LOT!) and was constantly in my room, brushing away a tear or two (imagine that… J). When he finally called, I felt like a huge light just shone in my heart. It was a wonderful feeling. The next day he didn’t call. I was in a state of depression. Didn’t talk much with my parents. I only played with Marsya the whole day, and at night when Marsya was fast asleep, I would look at her face and think of my Dearest Bie. They look SO MUCH alike. That sort of helped me with my loneliness and my terrible miss for my Dearest Bie. I didn’t even want to go anywhere. Ayah ajak pergi Giant, but I said no and the old acquaintance, yang we were supposed to go out, tak jadi so I continued to laze in front of the TV, with Marsya sitting on top of my tummy.

Yesterday was the day that I picked up the courage to leave the house. I went to Acik’s place and brought her and the kids to Jusco. After walking around the new shopping mall, I treated them to McDonald. But I still didn’t have the mood to talk that much. Today I felt a lot better. I went to Giant with Ayah and bought myself a blueberry pie. It was good. And the best part was that, Bie called me twice today. Once in the morning, and the other phone call about half an hour ago. It brought smiles to my face. And to add further to that, he sent me text messages (from his boss’ phone no doubt) saying that he was leaving Florence and heading for Venice. The other one was that he misses both Marsya and me (and he finished his message with ciao… funny coz it is so unlike him. I guess being in Italy and all…). So as you all can probably detect, I am slowly recovering from my depression state. I am now talking to my parents, no longer hiding in the bedroom for the termenung session, and EATING a lot as well (I think I have gained a lot of pounds during this holiday), I play with Marysa but not all the time. I mean, I don’t whisk her away into the bedroom to stare at her face anymore. Instead, I let her play on her own, under the supervision of Ibu’s Bibik.

So, yes… this cloud of depression is slowly being lifted off me. Now I am looking forward to Tuesday. That is the day that my Dearest Bie is going to come home. Ayah has volunteered to fetch him from the airport, well, he will accompany me to the airport. But I told him, no. I told him that I want to fetch Bie myself. At first he wasn’t happy. But I put my foot in it, to which he finally said yes. So, I am really looking forward to see my Dearest Bie. Next Tuesday, yeaaahh baby… !!

It's Been Awhile

Percaya tak that I can't log in to my blog from the office. I have been trying and trying BUT to no avail. Tension betul. I have some really cute pictures of my intan permata hati but I can't upload them coz I couldn't log in to the BLOG..!! A friend of mine has been asking me to update, but nak buat camner? I can't. I don't have internet access at home i.e. Kemensah. Luckily I could be online in my home kat Seremban. So here I am, justifying myself on WHY I haven't been updating my blog. So bear with me, alright.Things have been moving at a very fast pace since the last time I blogged.

My daughter has celebrated her 1st year birthday last 3rd of January and I am so happy for her. She can walk now and very fast too I might add. She has the habit of not looking in front whenever she walks. So, she always bump onto things. One night, she hit the corner of my wall. She fell back like as if she was a rubber ball or something. Fortunately, she didn't cry. But her forehead was red from the bump. Luckily, no bruise. She can say ummi now. And my heart flutters everytime she mentions it. She talks German alright. All sorts of wierd sounds come out from her tiny little mouth. Whatever it is, I love her SO much. This maternal thing is really freaking me out. I have become very motherly these days that I think it may be difficult for those who knew me back then to even comprehend..!!

My parents have been busy doing their.. whatever stuff. As the only daughter and the eldest (bless my soul), I tried not to get in the way. But it is just so difficult to ignore them. Ayah just got out of an operation. I'd rather not mention it here, but the doctor gave him 2 weeks medical leave. He can walk BUT not that fast. These days he does his own dressing. He promised to take us to Terengganu for the holidays. He has even booked a bungalow kat Pantai Burok to show to us that dia boleh jalan. So we thought, hmm.. ok lah. Since Ayah can travel then it would probably be fun to go to Terengganu with the whole family. It has been a while since we did that. But, after Ayah's friends' advice, he decided that he isn't ready to travel long distance and that we shouldn't go at all. I was dissapointed. So were my brothers (I think... well, my youngest one is VERY dissapointed coz he took a 3-day leave from his part-time job at the petrol station). Ayah felt guilty alright. But I had to show a tak apa kind of face and it's cool kind a face, coz I don't want him to feel bad. So here I am, a LONG holiday but not really going anywhere. Kind a sad, but what can I do. I had to be mature and accept the decision just like any matured person. And to make matters worse, my dearest Bie is not here. He is in ITALY..!!

Last 28 January, my dearest Bie took me to a Detox spa session at Vila Manja (http://www.vilamanja.com/), a really nice place. I LOVE the session. Now, why would he do that? Well, he is going for a 'working trip' to Italy which consisted of places like Rome, Florence, Milan and Venice and since he felt bad that I couldn't go, he treated me to a spa session. I admit that I felt green with envy coz he gets to go to those places but nak buat camner kan. So here I am, with my Seremban family and my intan payung, terribly missing him. Masa dia sampai Rome, I waited for his call but he didn't call me. I was worried. Sampai ke tak. But that night, he called me saying that he had safely reached Rome and that he was on his way to the Collaseum. Cemburu nie, but I was very happy to hear his voice that I put the jealous aside. I miss him. Terribly. I have been very quiet and I think my parents noticed it. I miss him. Today, well tadilah... I received a text message from him saying that he couldn't call me from Rome something about the line was rosak or something. But that he was on his way to Florence and that he missed me. The message was enough to make me smile from ear to ear. I can't wait for him to come back. This is one very long holiday... [sigh]...

Well, sajer nak tulis a short one, tapi tertulis panjanglah pulak.Anyway, I have a breakfast date and a bowling session with an 'old acquaintance' tomorrow. Tak sabar pulak rasanya. It has been a while since we went out the both of us. I think since I got married kot. I have sought permission from dearest Bie before he went to Rome last Saturday, so don't worry. It's all been taken care of. Besides, I need to get out of the house and indulge in something other than 'family stuff'...

Best Friend Forgotten... Not?

Two Saturdays ago, I went to an open shop at my friend’s restaurant in Balakong. It isn’t exactly her shop, but it was her aunt’s. But since she also cooks there and entertains customers, she also has some interest in the shop. I reached there just after Maghrib. It wasn’t really that difficult to look for the shop as it was the only one there. I went with another friend of mine who came with her husband and 3 months old cute baby. E was there to greet us. She was happy to see us and was grateful that we came. The traffic to get to Balakong was atrocious. And it took me an hour to reach Balakong, so the food better be good. And thankfully, the selection of food was good. There were nasi beriani with chicken rempah, soto, mihun sup, nasi himpit with kuah lodeh, satay, etc… etc. So, I ate a lot, as usual. E told me that Nasha Aziz was also around. I later saw her sitting with her future-mother-in-law. She is currently dating E’s cousin, a photographer. And she is one very pretty lady. I like her and I think she is one of the most beautiful celebrities in Malaysia. I wanted to take a photo with her, but I was too shy to ask her. She wasn’t bugged or anything and I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. So I had to repress my desire to take a photo with her. But no worries. I was enjoying my chat with E.

I have known E for a long time. Suffice to say, she was my best friend in school. We went on the same school bus when we were in form 3 and because we were so close, we knew each other’s respective families very well. I always went to her house after school and we would hang out in her room singing to songs which she played on the guitar. One of the songs that we used to scream out loud (until the next door neighbour heard us) was “Country Road”. We enjoyed it tremendously. Her uncle would be very happy to see me and would pinch my cheeks and inform all his friends there that if only I was as old as him, he would definitely ask me to marry him. I always laughed at that as I knew that, that would never happen. E’s family called me Awning, because my house at that time had a very long awning. I was very close to her late grandmother and would hug her and kiss her whenever I dropped by at E’s house. My parents and my aunts were also very warm to E. When Acik got married, E came to the wedding and stayed over night at the kampong. Even my cousins were taken with her and till this day continued to ask how E is. You see, E is a very loveable person. She has really good personalities and can easily make friends with anyone that she wants. My schooldays had always revolved around E and of course some other friends. When I had boy trouble, E would be the person that I sought. When her grandfather passed away, I was there by her side. There were just so many things that we did together. We both like to pose for photographs and, believe me, you just wouldn’t want to see some of the photos that we took. Whenever we talked about it, we would laugh like mad. E and me, inseparable. But all that changed over the years.

E changed when approaching SPM. She rarely went to school and was always doing other things. She made friends with people that I know my parents wouldn’t approve of. But I stuck by her anyway. My mother began to call her a problem child but I argued stating that E was my best friend and no one knew her more than I do.

I guess things began to take a different turn when I introduced her to a guy friend of mine whom later she went steady with. That was where the real problem began. It was sad really. We had huge fights over a boy. She was very jealous. She hated it that her boyfriend still contacted me even though he was going steady with her. And this did not apply to just one boyfriend, but TWO of her boyfriends, both happened to be my friends. She decided to take vengeance by flirting with a guy I used to terribly adore (who else but Labu… hehehe). It hurt me but I decided to forego it because E was my best friend. But when the same thing happened to her second boyfriend, I felt tired and decided that I needed to take a stand. Of course we had heated arguments. Even the littlest things upset her. And even the stupidest things that she did bothered me. There were a lot of bad-mouthing and because we couldn’t take it anymore, we decided to take on our separate lives after form 6. I was happy with my other friends and she was making friends with some other people. We lost contact with each other. I knew stories about her from my other friends or from her boyfriend, but never from her.

Come April 2002, I received a phone call from E. She was getting engaged and she would appreciate if I could attend the engagement reception. I was surprised. It was ages since I received a call from her. She said she was getting engaged to the boyfriend that I introduced to way back when we were in form 4. I was happy for her so I attended her engagement and met her. It was like flashes of memory playing a short movie in my head. Her aunts and uncles greeted me happily. Her late grandmother was very happy to see me that she had tears in her eyes. It was just so overwhelming. And from thereon, we remained in contact and have become close. She was the one who put the henna on my hands when I got married and she was the one who was happy to see my bulging stomach when I was pregnant. We may not be as close as when we were in school, but I am content at our friendship now. We never talk about the incidents which made our friendship sour. We just look forward at the possibilities of what the future holds for us.

When I left the restaurant that night, I kissed both her cheeks and hugged her tightly. Gosh I missed her and she returned the affection that I gave her and that made my eyes teary. Some say that if you had a huge a fight with a best friend, you can never resume the friendship. Well, they’re wrong. Look at me and E. Though we don’t laugh out loud and sing noisily to songs that she plays on the guitar, deep inside, we’re both happy that our friendship can resume where we left off.

Not Feeling Well...

I was having a mild flu since last Monday but I didn’t really bother because I could still go to work. There were no severe pains in the joint muscles so I was fine. Last Friday I took the day off because my Mak Su who has been taking of Marsya was going back to Taiping for a week on holiday. So I went about my morning routine as usual which involved cooking Marsya’s food, cleaning the room and bathing her while waiting for my dearest Bie to come back as he had promised to take us to his company’s Raya celebration. So he came back, and we went and met his friends. We didn’t eat much because most of the guests at the Raya celebration were like ‘sakai’. It’s like as if they have never seen food in their entire lives or something. Imagine this; my dearest Bie had a couple of ‘otak-otak’ in his hands BUT a guest, goodness knows from where, grabbed the ‘otak-otak’ from his hand and he ended up with only one ‘otak-otak’ in his hands. How ‘sakai’ was that? So we didn’t eat much there and decided to go to Ikano Power Centre for our afternoon refreshment.

Ikano was alright. We went to Ikea and bought a few stuff for the house. Small stuff mind you. And later walked all around Ikano Power Centre and later to The Curve. Very nice place. The Curve I mean. And there are a lot of eating places at The Curve. So all food lovers out there, you have got to visit The Curve. I mean it. So after visiting the Early Learning Centre and bought a Lamaze Mr Froggy for Marsya (Dearest Bie wanted to install Mr Froggy in Marsya’s pushchair), we went to the Thai Bar at Ikano for dinner and left the place around 9.30pm.

Upon reaching the house, I was feeling yucky. My stomach was rumbling and I had all these gasses inside me but the gasses wouldn’t go anywhere and it was uncomfortable. A few hours after that, I was left lifeless. I was vomiting a lot and my bowels weren’t helping as well. I couldn’t sleep. I would wake up every few hours just to vomit. My dearest Bie would also wake up with me and so would my daughter. I guess she was rudely startled by my urgency to run to the bathroom. The feeling was terrible. When I woke up early in the morning, I couldn’t even walk. My joints were painful and my head was heavy. After a glass of warm water, I vomited again. I couldn’t take it and I knew that my stomach was empty. So I cooked porridge for myself. And after the vomit, I tried to swallow the tasteless porridge. Luckily it didn’t come out.

Around noon, my dearest Bie took me to the clinic and the doctor informed that the vomits and all were the ultimate effect of my mild flu. As I didn’t take any medication nor did I visited a doctor, and my fever was one of those viral fever, that was why I vomited and did the other bowel thing. He also checked for other stuff; you know, the possibility of a dengue and all that (there are recently a lot of these cases) and were informed that if I still don’t feel well to re-visit him for a blood test. He gave me A LOT of medicine to eat and knowing that my dearest Bie will monitor my medication consumption; do I really have a choice?

So here I am today, still ill but feeling so much better than before. However, I am thinking of getting that blood test though as my joints are still painful. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to the office today. I am not fully concentrating on anything I do anyway. I don’t know why I am so ‘rajin’. Go figure…

Have You Ever..??

Have you ever felt that it is time to move on and that staying at one place for quite a while can be very detrimental not only to you but to other people surrounding you? Do you sometimes feel that people don’t appreciate you much and that your talents, skills, and capabilities are not being fully utilized as they are supposed to? Have you ever thought of leaving that current depressing situation and move on to greener field? Well frankly, I am very de-motivated these days. And this only applies at the work place. I feel that people are not appreciating me. I feel that my skills and capabilities are not being used as they should be. I feel incompetent when I shouldn’t be. I feel sick and tired and the thought of leaving the workplace in search of a better place is screaming at all angles.

Is it time for me to move on? I don’t know. I have been here since July 2001 and that is considered a VERY long time. It is my second employment after I graduated. When I came here, my pay was quite huge compared to the others AT THAT TIME. And I was very happy as I was doing something new. But the pay has been quite stagnant and at this point in time, the workload has also lessened. Is it me? Does the boss think that I’m not competent and that is why he’s not giving me any specific, responsible task? I’m not the type that relaxes all the time at the office. Without work, I’d get restless and the day would begin as a very lengthy one for me. I have uttered the words of leaving many times already. In fact, I just lost track of it. But what made me stay (for yet a few more months)?

The people here are FANTASTIC..!! I love my colleagues. They’re the best. There’s no backstabbing (well at the corporate office here at least), there are no cliques here. Everybody is everybody’s friends and they know who you are, what you are, and where you stay. They know where I send my baby off to every morning and they know where my favourite Thai restaurant is. They know I don’t drink milk and they know that I usually have a very huge lunch (much to the amazement of my fellow male colleagues; some of them do not take lunch. They have fruits). Invitations to houses for Raya, or Housewarming are always in abundance. And the best part is that, everybody makes an effort to go to these open houses or housewarming parties. Even when they say that it is only from 3pm to 6pm. But if you come at 7pm, they will invite you warmly inside their houses. Like last Friday, we had a Raya gathering at the office but pot luck basis. Everyone made an effort to contribute. Not just the money, but cook something and bring it to the office. We had a blast of a time last Friday. There were a lot of laughing and eating. And I like that.

I don’t know whether I’ll find that comfortable environment in any other work place. I guess I am a bit scared because the past employment (the first one after I graduated) had always kind a haunt me. The work was fantastic for a fresh graduate like me (corporate and debt restructuring advisory work), but the people were *&@$... Well, just a few of them. I was so stressed that even my housemates were afraid to say hi to me. When for actual fact, I needed their companionship the most at that time because I was so stressed at the office. But they were afraid of me because they didn’t know how my mood was at that time. There were times when I was very stressed with my immediate (single, old and divorced) woman boss, I would go to the surau and cried my eyes out. And when I came back to my room, my eyes would be puffy and red. I know that my colleague wanted to ask but she was afraid to utter the question. This went on for quite a while. I couldn’t take it anymore and I left. And thankfully, the environment here is a thousand times better. But lately, the work hasn’t. And it is very de-motivating. I know I should leave. I have already applied for a few jobs but not actively. Thinking of leaving as soon as I receive a bonus (if there ever is one, but I’m counting on it for next year. I really do). I need to go to a place where my skills will be recognized. I just hope that the people will also be nice. Oh well, you can’t have everything.

Alahai Open House

An Open House concept is practiced all over Malaysia during festival time. I don’t know how the concept was established but at the mere mention of it, one would associate it with Raya, Deepavali, Chinese New Year or Christmas, IN Malaysia, or wherever as long as there are Malaysians around. It simply means that, I’m having some food at my place, so please come over. It doesn’t mean that my house is opened for the public to see, so please, come on over - like what it literally looks like. I don’t think it is a worldwide concept as I don’t think I have heard of it when I was staying in the UK. I may be wrong so please do correct me. But the irony is that, the concept is only used during festival time. I mean, why can’t you use the concept whenever you feel like it. If you are hosting a kenduri for example, can’t you call the kenduri Open House Tahlil, or Open House Doa Selamat. I mean, the concept is the same. Although no cookies will be served to visitors but there’ll be food alright. But no, the Open House concept applies only during festival. Other times, one would just use other terms i.e. Housewarming Party, Kenduri Doa Selamat, Birthday Party, Wedding Reception, and the list goes on and on. Well, that’s my thinking.

Well, last Sunday, I had the opportunity to visit an open house organized by Bang Raz’s friend, Bang Jut, a self-made millionaire (sold his company for RM50 million) which had just finished construction. It is located near one of those Country Homes bungalows near the Mines Resort. He is not a developer. He appointed a contractor to construct the bungalow for him. There were two cars. My dearest Bie, Mak and Bak and of course my daughter Marsya were in Bak’s kancil. Bang Raz and his family were in their Unser. The entrance statement into the lavish and elite residential home itself was powering. The guards were there watching us with eagle eyes. I mean, that’s their job anyway. Of course they let the Jaguars and the Mercedes through without much queries.

There were many bungalows there. There were resort-villa style homes, Tudor style homes, Mansions, and log type of luxury homes. Bang Jut’s bungalow was modern contemporary. A double storey bungalow house with a basement of some sort. I was quite impressed. Bang Jut invited us into his courtyard where the tents were up and urged us to enjoy the food. The line of food was kind of nice. The usual raya dishes which include, nasi himpit, lemang, and beef rendang, as well as the not so raya dishes like sate, soto (which was really nice. I liked it), traditional kuih’s, Singaporean cupcakes (which I learnt was actually the Singaporean Popiah’s), fruits and drinks. I had quite a handful of foods. Those who know me would not be so shocked to see the amount of food that I ate. Let’s just say that I felt rather guilty afterwards.

Bang Raz was excited to see the bungalow. He asked me to eat quickly so that all of us can have the pleasure of viewing Bang Jut’s new bungalow. I finished my food with a slurp and proceeded to enter the bungalow. No drinks needed to wash away the food. I took my slippers off and entered into the black marbled bungalow. Not much of trinkets and ornaments were put up for display. The living room was very spacious. There were black leather seats in the middle of it with few very modern decorative items. The living room had only a small thick carpet in the middle. The rest of the floor was of shining black marble. The light in the living room came from the large glass window facing the golf course. I slid opened the huge glass window (a bit like our normal sliding door but only ‘taller’). And to my amazement, the pool was just there. In fact, if I wanted to, I can just sit at the glass window and dip both my feet into the pool. It was an outdoor pool mind you. It wasn’t wide, but it was long, following the length of the living room. It was cool. I loved the pool. And I just had to get out to view the pool deck and how the water was being circulated. In fact, if I’m Abang Jut’s friend, I would love to strip down into my swimming suit and take a dip into the pool. It was so inviting. But my dearest Bie quickly asked me to join the others who were already up the stairs to look at the bedrooms. There were only three rooms upstairs. But all very spacious with little rock gardens separating each bedroom. The bathrooms were huge each with their own walking closets. Most of walls of the bungalow itself were of glass. Thick ones mind you. Others were of black marble. We went back down the stairs and went into the entertainment room which was complete with its own theatre system. The dining room had a really nice dining table in it and the kitchen was spacious with stainless silver concepts written all over it. All in all, it was a wonderful bungalow viewing.

We came out from the bungalow looking somewhat pleased. Mak kept on complaining about the waste of space. Such a huge house but very little rooms. I mean, its modern contemporary. Why would you want more rooms. Bang Raz told Mak that Bang Jut has no children. I guess that was why the number of rooms was quite little. Well, after touring the bungalow, I would have to say that the bungalow wasn’t that big. I have seen bigger bungalows, but of course I have not had the opportunity to view them from inside. But because I love the pool, the built in walking closets and the bathrooms, I’m going to have to give two thumbs up for Bang Jut’s bungalow.

NOW that is an Open House. Not only did we get to eat the variety of foods being served but we also had the opportunity to SEE every corner of the bungalow. From the kitchen and basement, to the bedrooms. I wouldn’t mind going to another one of these Open Houses if there is ever a chance for me to do so. But, not all hosts like it when people tour into their houses. Because of that, I am happy to settle for the Malaysian concept of Open House which rang: Come on over and eat at my house..!! Plenty of food. Eat all you want. But sorry, keep out of the bedrooms, please…

Marsya Enjoying The Open Houses

Marsya waking up in the morning, before we bathe her so that we could start going to the Open Houses.

Marsya and her cousins with Tok Bak and Tok Mak.

Giggling with her dearest Abi at Aunty Suri's house.