Weekend With The Parents

Although I was on leave last Friday, so supposedly in full blast mood because of three days’ rest including the weekend, I wasn’t rested. I was tired. In fact, this morning, I came to work wearing a Baju Kurung that does not have to be ironed. I never wear a Baju Kurung on a Monday unless I didn’t have the time to iron the clothes during the weekend. Suffice to say, I think today I look like a very decent primary school teacher.

My parents were in town this weekend. From Thursday evening until Sunday night. And Ayah is not the type to stay at home and do nothing. He is the type that likes to go out, even though he is tired, and probably needs some rest, but he will make a point to go out; anywhere really. From shopping complexes to maybe just Carrefour.

On Friday, after Ibu’s medical check-up at Pusrawi, we went to my baby’s pediatrician for her five months’ injection. After lunch, he insisted on going to a shop which sells futsal shoes. He wanted to buy it for my brother’s birthday, as a present. So we went to Alpha Angle. Unfortunately, none of the striking fluorescent shoes appealed to him, so we went home instead… thankfully. I cooked dinner and we ate at home that night.

The next day, after a breakfast of fried rice and French toast, he insisted that we go to another bigger shopping complex. So Bie and I debated on where to go. Bie wanted to go to One Utama in Damansara, but I wasn’t that keen because the old wing near Jusco was undergoing renovation so parking would definitely be a problem. So, after much debate, we decided to go to Mid Valley. So yeah, we went to Mid Valley. Ayah asked me to think of a nice place to eat for the family lunch (he likes to do this, asking me to plan and all that, up till the point that it becomes so tiring). My two other brothers were supposed to join us at Mid Valley. But Ayin (the one whose futsal shoes were meant for) called saying that he was going to be late. He was in Putrajaya. So we went to The Garden’s food court instead and had our lunches there. My two younger brothers were unreacheable. I had a feeling that they were still fast asleep even though the time showed 3.30 in the afternoon. I don’t know why Ibu is being so tolerable with it. During my time, if I sleep in late, she’d be screaming at me at the top of her lungs and saying things which were not pleasant to the ears.

We ended up having a family dinner instead at the Flaming Steamboat Danau Kota. It was a good place to eat. Steamboat buffet at RM23.80++ per person. But because I had Hayani with me, I couldn’t enjoy much. I only ate what the rest put inside the boiling tom yam soup. I did enjoy my ice-cream though. We got back late and reached home by 12am.

The next day, Ayah told me that he felt like he wanted to visit Ayin at his house in Sungai Buloh because Ayin wasn’t well (although we had actually met the night before) due to a bad ear infection whilst my sister-in-law had sprained her ankle. Not long after that, he expressed that he actually wanted to go to Kuala Selangor because his stock of ‘ikan masin’ or salted fish have all finished, and he needed to stock up. I didn’t want to go. I was tired. I wanted to stay at home, sort out my laundry and just rest. But he was saying, “It’s up to you. If you want to go, we’ll go. Otherwise, it’s ok”. I know from his tone that he wanted to go. End up; we went to Sungai Buloh and after that to Kuala Selangor. Of course we managed to get the much-sought-out Durian while we were in Kuala Selangor (I had wanted to eat the Durian since after my confinement with Hayani). After reaching Ayin’s house at about 7.45pm, we cooked dinner, ate and left at about 10pm. We still had to go back to my house because my parents’ stuff was still at the house. I was dead tired by then. I slept for most part of the journey back home. When we reached the house, Ayah got up to pack his bag and drank a mug of steaming hot Nescafe O so that he wouldn’t be too sleepy on the way back to Seremban. I was so worried at the prospect of him traveling with Ibu alone. I know Ibu. She’ll be asleep the minute she is in the car. So I told her to keep Ayah company; talk to him so that he wouldn’t fall asleep while driving.

I planned to sort out my children’s clothes for the next day, and iron some of my work clothes. But I was so tired. Hayani was also throwing a tantrum. I hope it wasn’t because of the Durian I ate. But she was slightly colic and sweating. So I rubbed some ointment on her tummy as well as on her feet. She passed some gasses and after several more minutes was slowly falling asleep. The problem is, not only was Hayani falling asleep, but I was also falling asleep. I tried to stay awake telling myself that I had the clothes to sort out and some ironing to do, but alas, the temptation to crawl into bed was much more appealing (hence the reason for the Baju Kurung).

This morning I had to send Hayani to USJ to Maksu’s house (yeah.. the maid isn’t here yet – I seriously am beginning to dislike certain people, however that’s another story), but because I was late this morning, I was stuck in several jams. I hated it but I don’t have much of a choice.

So now I’m dead tired and having a mug of Nescafe O so that I wouldn’t fall asleep (after a lunch of rice and fried chicken). Don’t get me wrong. I love having both my parents at my place. I love taking them around. But this weekend, I was just a little overwhelmed at Ayah’s desire to go everywhere that I was just a little tired and regretted for agreeing to go to Kuala Selangor. But if I hadn’t gone to Kuala Selangor, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to eat D24 and 101 Durians (I didn’t know there was a Durian called 101, can you imagine that). So I guess, there’re pros and cons to everything. But today begins another tiring weekend of non-stop travelling from Home to USJ, office and Home again… until the new maid comes. Dreading the travelling already…

Love Our Children

I just read an article online about an eight year old boy who was killed by a man whom he asked for direction. The worse part was that he wasn’t just killed, but was dismembered with parts of his body inside a suitcase in the thrash outside while his feet were in a plastic bag in the killer’s freezer. The boy was on his way back from camp to his house which was just a few blocks away. This was the first time that he walked alone, having practiced the route with his parents a few days before. But he missed a turn and got lost. So he asked a stranger where his house was, got into the stranger’s car and that was the last time that people saw him alive. I hoped he died a quick death. I’d hate to think that his death was a slow one. He was a Jewish boy living in Brooklyn, New York. His killer was also Jewish, both from the orthodox clan.

It’s scary when you think that usually, people who kill children are probably your next door neighbor or friends you know living in the area. This is proven with the case of a mother and son from Kelantan, but staying in Port Dickson I think, who were murdered by their next door neighbor. Then the gruesome beheading of an elderly man and the killing of both grandparents and sister in Negeri Sembilan sometime last year or was it two years back. I find it all very scary.

I have three children (I can say three, previously, it’s always been just two.. just a thought) and I fear for their safety everyday. Whether they’re at school or in the car with Bie or while playing outside the house. I really do worry about them. Whenever I go out and I take them with me, children being children, they’re always out of your sight, running here and there or hiding in between clothes rack (that would be my son) or just gone without trace then you’d see them with your husband at the cashier queuing up to pay. Whenever these vanishing without a trace act happens to me, my heart would be thumping so loudly that I swear I could feel my blood veins popping and breaking all over the place. And that happens even when I am on a constant lookout for them. Imagine if I don’t bother looking out for them. A stranger can just come and take your child away even before you can say Chipsmore. And the scary thing is that, you wouldn’t even realize it because you’d think that he or she is probably still under the clothes rack playing hide and seek.

I have that fear in me everyday and honestly, I don’t know what I would do if they do go missing. Granted that certain things happen as Allah wills it, and that whatever mishaps or events that take place are challenges by Him to see whether you are strong enough, but when it comes to my children, I don’t think I can accept it. I don’t know. It’s just so hard to say. Allah knows best and I always pray for their safety and that they are protected by Allah at all times. But things can happen, you know. Things which you read in the paper may happen to you… [sigh]. I don’t know. Reading stories about children being kidnapped or murdered is heart-wrenching. Being a mother, it is just something that I fear most for my children.

The other thing which surprises me, well.. ironically is that people do not seem to love children anymore. Killing of children or throwing of babies, especially newborn is something that is not as prominent compared to today. Those days, we just don’t hear this sort of stories. Didn’t these things happen 20, 30 years ago? I saw in the news last night about a father abusing his 9 year-old boy with a belt until causing the poor child injury to the head and ears. The elder brother had to intervene to stop the father from beating the poor boy. He also lodged a police report against his father. Kudos to the brother. And the irony is that, the wife is currently pregnant with the 6th child I think. If you can’t take care of your children, then don’t be fertilizing your sperm. Have a heart. Stop when you think it’s enough. Take precatioun. There are many of them now. But no, they wouldn’t do that. They’d rather get their wives pregnant and later when the child is born, so what. Another child to add to the brood. I just don’t get it. Yes, children are temperamental and their behavior can cause headaches and makes us want to hit them on the head and shove them into a dark room just so that they behave, but they are after all children. These are the challenges in bringing up a child, at whatever ages.

I myself have been boiling with madness at my children’s antics, OMG.. the things they do. I hit them. I do. And pinch them or pull the ‘jambang’, the little hair that grow at the sideburn area, which proves to be productive at that point in time to stop them from doing whatever it is that was making me mad. But at the moment, I am sane enough not to belt them on the head and I pray to Allah to constantly give me the patience to nurture them without having to belt their heads. I believe in discipline and I believe in hitting, but at areas where it will not affect their hearing, eye-sight or physical movement. Hit them on the butt-cheek perhaps, or the hands, or the feet. Use a cane if you want to, but just at those areas that will not affect their senses.

What happen to the act of loving children? If not other people’s children, but at least yours? This is definitely a sign. And I guess we should be wary of it. I pray to Allah to continue protect our children and that they may be out of harm’s way. May they also grow up to responsible beings; obedient, loyal and loving with their faith always dictating them the right thing to do. AMIN.