Have You Ever..??

Have you ever felt that it is time to move on and that staying at one place for quite a while can be very detrimental not only to you but to other people surrounding you? Do you sometimes feel that people don’t appreciate you much and that your talents, skills, and capabilities are not being fully utilized as they are supposed to? Have you ever thought of leaving that current depressing situation and move on to greener field? Well frankly, I am very de-motivated these days. And this only applies at the work place. I feel that people are not appreciating me. I feel that my skills and capabilities are not being used as they should be. I feel incompetent when I shouldn’t be. I feel sick and tired and the thought of leaving the workplace in search of a better place is screaming at all angles.

Is it time for me to move on? I don’t know. I have been here since July 2001 and that is considered a VERY long time. It is my second employment after I graduated. When I came here, my pay was quite huge compared to the others AT THAT TIME. And I was very happy as I was doing something new. But the pay has been quite stagnant and at this point in time, the workload has also lessened. Is it me? Does the boss think that I’m not competent and that is why he’s not giving me any specific, responsible task? I’m not the type that relaxes all the time at the office. Without work, I’d get restless and the day would begin as a very lengthy one for me. I have uttered the words of leaving many times already. In fact, I just lost track of it. But what made me stay (for yet a few more months)?

The people here are FANTASTIC..!! I love my colleagues. They’re the best. There’s no backstabbing (well at the corporate office here at least), there are no cliques here. Everybody is everybody’s friends and they know who you are, what you are, and where you stay. They know where I send my baby off to every morning and they know where my favourite Thai restaurant is. They know I don’t drink milk and they know that I usually have a very huge lunch (much to the amazement of my fellow male colleagues; some of them do not take lunch. They have fruits). Invitations to houses for Raya, or Housewarming are always in abundance. And the best part is that, everybody makes an effort to go to these open houses or housewarming parties. Even when they say that it is only from 3pm to 6pm. But if you come at 7pm, they will invite you warmly inside their houses. Like last Friday, we had a Raya gathering at the office but pot luck basis. Everyone made an effort to contribute. Not just the money, but cook something and bring it to the office. We had a blast of a time last Friday. There were a lot of laughing and eating. And I like that.

I don’t know whether I’ll find that comfortable environment in any other work place. I guess I am a bit scared because the past employment (the first one after I graduated) had always kind a haunt me. The work was fantastic for a fresh graduate like me (corporate and debt restructuring advisory work), but the people were *&@$... Well, just a few of them. I was so stressed that even my housemates were afraid to say hi to me. When for actual fact, I needed their companionship the most at that time because I was so stressed at the office. But they were afraid of me because they didn’t know how my mood was at that time. There were times when I was very stressed with my immediate (single, old and divorced) woman boss, I would go to the surau and cried my eyes out. And when I came back to my room, my eyes would be puffy and red. I know that my colleague wanted to ask but she was afraid to utter the question. This went on for quite a while. I couldn’t take it anymore and I left. And thankfully, the environment here is a thousand times better. But lately, the work hasn’t. And it is very de-motivating. I know I should leave. I have already applied for a few jobs but not actively. Thinking of leaving as soon as I receive a bonus (if there ever is one, but I’m counting on it for next year. I really do). I need to go to a place where my skills will be recognized. I just hope that the people will also be nice. Oh well, you can’t have everything.

Alahai Open House

An Open House concept is practiced all over Malaysia during festival time. I don’t know how the concept was established but at the mere mention of it, one would associate it with Raya, Deepavali, Chinese New Year or Christmas, IN Malaysia, or wherever as long as there are Malaysians around. It simply means that, I’m having some food at my place, so please come over. It doesn’t mean that my house is opened for the public to see, so please, come on over - like what it literally looks like. I don’t think it is a worldwide concept as I don’t think I have heard of it when I was staying in the UK. I may be wrong so please do correct me. But the irony is that, the concept is only used during festival time. I mean, why can’t you use the concept whenever you feel like it. If you are hosting a kenduri for example, can’t you call the kenduri Open House Tahlil, or Open House Doa Selamat. I mean, the concept is the same. Although no cookies will be served to visitors but there’ll be food alright. But no, the Open House concept applies only during festival. Other times, one would just use other terms i.e. Housewarming Party, Kenduri Doa Selamat, Birthday Party, Wedding Reception, and the list goes on and on. Well, that’s my thinking.

Well, last Sunday, I had the opportunity to visit an open house organized by Bang Raz’s friend, Bang Jut, a self-made millionaire (sold his company for RM50 million) which had just finished construction. It is located near one of those Country Homes bungalows near the Mines Resort. He is not a developer. He appointed a contractor to construct the bungalow for him. There were two cars. My dearest Bie, Mak and Bak and of course my daughter Marsya were in Bak’s kancil. Bang Raz and his family were in their Unser. The entrance statement into the lavish and elite residential home itself was powering. The guards were there watching us with eagle eyes. I mean, that’s their job anyway. Of course they let the Jaguars and the Mercedes through without much queries.

There were many bungalows there. There were resort-villa style homes, Tudor style homes, Mansions, and log type of luxury homes. Bang Jut’s bungalow was modern contemporary. A double storey bungalow house with a basement of some sort. I was quite impressed. Bang Jut invited us into his courtyard where the tents were up and urged us to enjoy the food. The line of food was kind of nice. The usual raya dishes which include, nasi himpit, lemang, and beef rendang, as well as the not so raya dishes like sate, soto (which was really nice. I liked it), traditional kuih’s, Singaporean cupcakes (which I learnt was actually the Singaporean Popiah’s), fruits and drinks. I had quite a handful of foods. Those who know me would not be so shocked to see the amount of food that I ate. Let’s just say that I felt rather guilty afterwards.

Bang Raz was excited to see the bungalow. He asked me to eat quickly so that all of us can have the pleasure of viewing Bang Jut’s new bungalow. I finished my food with a slurp and proceeded to enter the bungalow. No drinks needed to wash away the food. I took my slippers off and entered into the black marbled bungalow. Not much of trinkets and ornaments were put up for display. The living room was very spacious. There were black leather seats in the middle of it with few very modern decorative items. The living room had only a small thick carpet in the middle. The rest of the floor was of shining black marble. The light in the living room came from the large glass window facing the golf course. I slid opened the huge glass window (a bit like our normal sliding door but only ‘taller’). And to my amazement, the pool was just there. In fact, if I wanted to, I can just sit at the glass window and dip both my feet into the pool. It was an outdoor pool mind you. It wasn’t wide, but it was long, following the length of the living room. It was cool. I loved the pool. And I just had to get out to view the pool deck and how the water was being circulated. In fact, if I’m Abang Jut’s friend, I would love to strip down into my swimming suit and take a dip into the pool. It was so inviting. But my dearest Bie quickly asked me to join the others who were already up the stairs to look at the bedrooms. There were only three rooms upstairs. But all very spacious with little rock gardens separating each bedroom. The bathrooms were huge each with their own walking closets. Most of walls of the bungalow itself were of glass. Thick ones mind you. Others were of black marble. We went back down the stairs and went into the entertainment room which was complete with its own theatre system. The dining room had a really nice dining table in it and the kitchen was spacious with stainless silver concepts written all over it. All in all, it was a wonderful bungalow viewing.

We came out from the bungalow looking somewhat pleased. Mak kept on complaining about the waste of space. Such a huge house but very little rooms. I mean, its modern contemporary. Why would you want more rooms. Bang Raz told Mak that Bang Jut has no children. I guess that was why the number of rooms was quite little. Well, after touring the bungalow, I would have to say that the bungalow wasn’t that big. I have seen bigger bungalows, but of course I have not had the opportunity to view them from inside. But because I love the pool, the built in walking closets and the bathrooms, I’m going to have to give two thumbs up for Bang Jut’s bungalow.

NOW that is an Open House. Not only did we get to eat the variety of foods being served but we also had the opportunity to SEE every corner of the bungalow. From the kitchen and basement, to the bedrooms. I wouldn’t mind going to another one of these Open Houses if there is ever a chance for me to do so. But, not all hosts like it when people tour into their houses. Because of that, I am happy to settle for the Malaysian concept of Open House which rang: Come on over and eat at my house..!! Plenty of food. Eat all you want. But sorry, keep out of the bedrooms, please…

Marsya Enjoying The Open Houses

Marsya waking up in the morning, before we bathe her so that we could start going to the Open Houses.

Marsya and her cousins with Tok Bak and Tok Mak.

Giggling with her dearest Abi at Aunty Suri's house.

First Time Raya With Marsya...

The first raya with Marsya. This was taken before we were to go back to Kuala Pilah to pay our respect at Arwah Atuk's resting place. The concept was 'sedondon', but unfortunately it was too late to get the tailor to sew our clothes. So we had to scour for the right colour in Jalan Masjid India at the last minute. But, still we couldn't get to be sedondon. Oh well, at least the colour is more or less the same, though I can't say much about the colour shade.

Coming Through… Move Out Of The Way

I don’t know what it is with Malaysian drivers. They just don’t know how to be courteous on the roads. Emergency lanes are just normal roads to them. Despite the many warnings issued by the police traffic or the JPJ, Malaysian drivers continue to utilize the emergency lanes for their own benefits. Don’t they know that those lanes are for EMERGENCY only..?? Belajar tingkat-tingkat, but when it comes to simple matters as that, this handful of drivers just couldn’t care less. All they have in their heads are that: I am LATE. What better way to avoid being late but cut queue and use the emergency lanes. Very selfish. Very kiasu. Very bad. Many road accidents these days occur not just because drivers drive fast and knock against other harmless drivers (which happened to be on the location when the accidents occur). A person stopping at the emergency lane due to car or engine problems are also likely to be killed in a gruesome road accident. Imagine your father stopping at the emergency lane and within split seconds, without he realizes it, he got hit by a car which happened to be speeding on the emergency lane. How devastating is that. Roads are provided for motorists to use, but some drivers are still thick enough and continue to use emergency lanes. These are just the many things that I cannot tolerate.

I was on my way back from Parit Sulong to Seremban on the second day of raya. There was a traffic jam in Parit Sulong (don’t get me started on that. It was just simply weird). Then a black kancil sped by our car in a lane next to us. I wouldn’t even call it an emergency lane because it was just tanah merah road. The kancil was quite fast. Suddenly we heard a crash in front. I hated to imagine what had happened but yes it happened alright. The black kancil rammed against a motorcycle which had two young female riders. The driver of the motorcycle was thrown aside (luckily not on the road, even more lucky not inside the river) whereas her passenger was still stuck on the motorcycle obviously dazed and in a shocking state. The black kancil was parked by the road, its windows all shattered whilst its driver was out of the car helping the girl. She wasn’t moving. When people tried to make her sit, she went limp and lifeless. I can’t imagine what the kancil driver must have felt but all I know is that, it is such a heavy price to pay for simply wanting to cut the queue. I guess the motorcycle must have wanted to pass through and suddenly the kancil rammed against its side. I just hope that the girl is alright. I truly hope so. My mother couldn’t bear to watch the whole event (as it happened next to our car). She just closed her eyes and waited for our car to pass by the incident.

On the PLUS highway, there were MANY cars using the emergency lane especially from the Ayer Keroh onwards. When they saw the police, they quickly drove on the road, afraid of being summoned. Luckily there was quite a number of police traffic waiting on the emergency lane. But the maddening thing was that, after the motorists bypassed the stationed police, they resumed their ‘emergency lane driving’ without a care in the world. They weren’t thinking about the safety of other road users, BUT they were more afraid of getting summoned..!!

I am inclined to say that Malaysians are terrible, ignorant and selfish road users because from January 2005 till to date, about 160,000 motorists DO NOT have valid licenses. Where has the mentality of our people gone to? How are we going to curb road accidents if respectable parents themselves do not bother to ensure that their loved ones have proper driving licenses before telling them to go to the market driving the proton waja? Datuk Seri Chan Kong Choy, our Transport Minister said in the press on Thursday, 10 November 2005, “Sendiri mati dan bunuh orang lain, Apa ini?. Saya amat marah, macam mana boleh benarkan orang ini membawa kenderaan tanpa lesen''. Don’t get me started on bus drivers. Whenever an accident occurs, their reasons would be, “Brake tak makan”, or “Tak bawak laju pun. Bawak 70 km/jam jer”. Hello…!! If you drive 70 km/hour, then there wouldn’t be an accident now would there.

What can we do? How are we going to change the mentality of the Malaysians to be more courteous on the roads and not kill people?