Upset All Of A Sudden

I was in such a good mood this morning. I had breakfast at Plaza Sentral with Kak Tina and enjoyed a hearty meal of nasi goreng with egg, which was actually quite good. Then I went up to my office feeling energetic despite sleeping late last night as I was watching Om Shanti Om (another really good movie starring Shah Rukh Khan, directed by Farah Khan.. yes, the woman who always choreograph dance scenes in movies – so yes, a lot of dancing. But you should really see it because it is VERY funny.. I had a good laugh watching it, and for the first time ever, I have to admit that Shah Rukh Khan looks very good TOPLESS.. no joke, ok. Six pack and all). Then I went to see my friend. He had something to share with me. We always talk in the evenings, after work, so seeing him in the morning which was actually out of the norm, well.. let’s just say that perhaps I shouldn’t have seen him. Not in the morning.

He shared with me his experience with a certain board director who accused him of being a non-Moslem and that his upbringing was not Islamic. It was uncalled for, of course. Especially coming from a respectable board director who happens to be a lawyer by profession. My friend was upset. And I could relate to that, as I would to, if it was to happen to me.

But later he touched on about other things. Things that perhaps should be left unsaid because it would create animosity and jealousy. I tried not to get so worked up about it, but I can’t. I am only human. Though my mouth says it’s ok, and my face is smiling telling people that I’m alright with it, deep down I am affected. If not much, a little. Stop comparing me with other people. I am my own person, and you have no right to compare me with them just because their stars are brighter than mine. To me rezeki comes in may form. So stop feeling sorry for me. If the times come, and Allah says it, it will happen. So why worry now, right.

Secondly, today is M Nasir’s concert and I am upset because I can’t attend it. I have wanted to watch an M Nasir concert like forever. But alas, it is not meant to be, and I have to admit that I am quite upset. I want to see M Nasir perform at Istana Budaya, but only the expensive tickets are left. The RM80 ticket that was booked earlier is no longer applicable, because I didn’t make payment within two days of booking (the booking right was lifted because of non-payment). Well, how could I see to the payment when I was occupied with other things? It seemed impossible at that time.

And now, I’m a little upset. I need something to make me feel better again. Perhaps a Subway sandiwich for lunch? Hhmm..

Update after lunch: I had a Subway sandwich. Italian BMT which stands for Italian Pepperoni, Salami and Turkey Ham.. SEDAP..!!

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

I just saw the Hindi movie yesterday evening. I saw it on DVD. It starred Shah Rukh Khan (who was recently bestowed a Datukship.. something I can never I understand, but there you go…) and young Kajol. Honestly, I have never seen the movie. I saw it once a long time ago, but it was the ending part. The part where Shah Rukh Khan’s face was all bloody because he was engaged in a fight with Kajol’s fiancé. But Bie raved about the movie. He liked it. He likes Kajol (the only Hindi actress that he liked) after he watched Dilwale. And he loved the songs, especially Tujhe Dekha To. I have never understood why he thinks that this is the best movie. But after I saw it yesterday, I understand.

Dilwale reminded me of my youth days. Where life was simple, fun with hormones raging unnecessarily all over the place. My craze back then was of course good looking boys. Hahahaha..!! I can’t help it. I was a young woman with lots of raging hormones. Fancying people and having crushes were the norm for me. I enjoyed it. It showed that I was alive and loving life. Yes.. I had a nice life back then. Not to say that it’s not nice now, but you know what I mean, being young and free.. it’s just nice, and I’m glad that I had that.

I watched it with Ibu. Even she admitted that it was nice to be young. And she remembered hers very well. Dilwale I guess has that affect on people. It made people look back at what they did when they were young. Especially where love and friends are concerned. And it made me wonder, can love really do that? Hindi movies can be a bit over the top. Especially where love is concerned. Somehow, watching it makes me wonder of the realism. I mean, it doesn’t look real to me. Yes the courting bit is normal, and young couple’s behavior when in love is as every bit as that portrayed in the movie, but I don’t know… somehow, the movie left this lingering feeling in my heart. And I can’t quite describe what it is. It’s like ‘tak berpijak di bumi yang nyata’ kind of thing. But there you go, it’s Hindustan. What can one expect from that. But everyone loves to dream and imagine themselves as being the main character in the movie. It gives them a warm feeling inside, I suppose. A feeling that can save them from the hassle of the reality of the world. I guess dreaming takes us away from current problems, and give us motivation for something to look forward to. Of course I do that too sometimes. But for Dilwale, I just can’t do that. I enjoyed the silly bantering between the couple as it took me to my younger days, but the love bit.. hhmm.. I don’t know. Call me practical, but I don’t think I can accept the ending part of the movie. Too unreal..

But of course the movie did GREAT. The two main actors are currently the biggest Hindi stars of all time, and I still adore Shah Rukh Khan. Datukship or no Datukship..

Something Short

I am so busy these past few days. I have the SIRIM audit tomorrow and my filings are all over the place. And then I have the RRPTs circular to do, which needs to be sent for printing by 13 April 2009 as we need to circulate it in time for our first AGM. I have to admit, it’s exciting, but scary at the same time. There are so many things to do but so little time to do it. But life goes on. Yes we dedicate ourselves to work, but family comes first, so I don’t really stay back until late at night just to ensure that I finish my tasks. If I can do it in the morning, then I’ll continue them the next day. Gosh, why am I babbling about work?

I actually just wanted to say that 17th February 2009 was a special date for me. No it isn’t my birthday, nor is it my Bie’s birthday. And it isn’t my wedding anniversary as well. It is special for two reasons; it was the date that Bie and I officially became a couple eleven years ago, and of course, the date that I got engaged about seven years ago. I wanted to mention it last Tuesday, but I was so caught up with work that I hadn’t got the time to write anything on the blog about it.

Bie didn’t exactly remember the date though. He complained that there are just too many dates to remember. There’s my birthday, our wedding anniversary, our children’s birthdays, etc. I disagreed with him, because to me, 17th February is very important. It was the first time I said yes to becoming his girlfriend (back then, now we’re married of course). And I don’t usually say yes to that sort of thing. In fact, I NEVER said yes to anyone because none of them seems to be the right boyfriend material-type. So how could he even think that 17th February is NOT important? Men will always be men. Yes I have to admit that not ALL men are like that. And I have to accept MY man as he is. Luckily he makes up the inadequacy in other areas. Well, nobody’s perfect.

Anyway, that was it. Just a mention to the WHOLE world that 17th February is an important date for me. Now back to work.

The Things I Do

So many things have happened since I last updated my blog. I had wanted to update something (my sorrow, the extract of which I will share with you later), but somehow I was having some kind of a mental block. Not to mention that time wasn’t exactly on my side. It’s like, I want to share something, but I don’t know whether I should. Anyway, I guess before we get carried away with that, let me just share with you something I drafted but couldn’t quite get to post (or finish it for that matter) on the blog:

“Not My Time - I was heading towards the Ladies yesterday when a name caught my eye. Apparently a very close friend of mine at work had her place moved to a bigger cubicle. I wondered to myself whether she was getting that promotion. I saw the boss’ secretary and I asked her. She looked at me and said, “She was recommended for a promotion, but please don’t tell anyone as everything is still PnC”. I nodded my head and walked straight to the Ladies. I didn’t know why but suddenly I felt a rush of tears brimming in my eyes. I am not jealous of this close friend. In fact, I can’t be happier for her. She truly deserves it, but I am only human, so I did feel sad coz it only brought back memories the conversation I had with the boss when he told me that he didn’t think I was ready for a promotion. The PMS session took more than an hour and by the end of it, I had tears of frustration sliding down my cheeks. But of course not in front of him, no way would I give him the pleasure OR the guilt”.

And that was the only thing I wrote. I took a break, and I hadn’t managed to continue that post. You see, I wanted to, but why dwell on matters which would only make me sad. It’s just unnecessary headaches. To me, let bygones be bygones. Allah knows best, and He thinks that I am not ready for such rezeki. Or perhaps, my rezeki comes in other forms which I have yet to discover. So why worry, and let myself be swallowed with sadness and perhaps jelousy. It’s not good. But as for that friend of mine, I am seriously happy for her. Like I said earlier, she deserves it. The hard work that she has put through is just beyond comparison. So yes, she seriously deserves the promotion.

So yes, enough about the promotion issue. I have other things to think of.

My sister-in-law may need to be operated due to the stone in the gall bladder or something (I am not much of a person who uses medical jargons). She has been complaining of stomachache for over a week now and my brother is very upset. They have a baby now. A handsome coming to 5 month old boy and I pity my nephew on what will happen to him if his mother goes for operation. Well actually, come to think of it, I pity my brother if his wife does opt for the operation because his baby will be sent to stay with his grandparents in Pahang and I know that my brother will hate that. Being away from his son is just something that he can’t afford to do at the moment. Ibu is more of a traditionalist and she hates operations. So now there are conflicting views on whether she should operate or try traditional medicines first. But my sister-in-law hates traditional medicines. She didn’t drink the water that my brother brought for her claiming that she didn’t like the taste of the water and preferred to sulk and complain. I had enough of the sulking so I told my brother to pack up his things and go back to Pahang, and return to KL on the same day to be admitted so that she can be operated the next morning. I can’t stand it. She always puts the blame on my brother and I hate it. So let her do what she wants to do. She’s a big girl. A mother even, so let her be. Ibu was upset though. But I told Ibu not to participate in any of decision-making involving her and my brother anymore in the future. It’s their life, so let it be. And Ibu agreed.

And that’s only one matter.

Recently I underwent changes in my life. It is for the better I suppose. I am now learning to control my temper and trying to stop cursing altogether (which is actually a little bit difficult, but I HAVE to do it). I am also now seeing normal things, which I have always taken for granted, for the first time in a long time. Yes, I see things in a slightly different perspective now. And I have to admit, I like the new me. Let’s pray together, ok.