I Have A Nephew Now

On Saturday morning, 20th September 2008, I received a text message from my brother saying that his wife has safely delivered a baby boy, weighing at 3.85kg. It was a natural birth, although the doctor has to use a vacuum to get the baby out. I was excited. This will be my first, direct nephew. Because I was in Seremban, my parents and I drove to SJMC (in one car, the maid was left at home) to see them.

We reached the hospital at noon. The traffic jam can still be quite bad at the Summit area even though it was a Saturday. I don’t know when that area will improve. In terms of traffic, I mean.

When we got to the room, the wife was resting (she was asleep, evidently tired from labour) and the baby was placed next to her, also sleeping. I couldn’t wait to pick him up. Of course Ibu picked him up first. His eyes were small and his nose was all round, buttony and cute. I passed Raqib to my brother, and proceeded to pick the newly born baby.

I like it that he snuggled up to me naturally. He felt so light too. But of course, 3.85kg is already big and I can imagine the pain that the wife had to endure in getting him out of her womb. My son Raqib was 3.80kg. And that my dear friends, was already VERY big.

My brother had a very happy look on his face. He kept on looking at the baby. Wanting to see him open his eyes, and wanting to see anything that the baby might have done within a span of five minutes (which isn’t very much for a newly born baby). My daughter too was excited. She kept on touching the baby’s face, and patting his legs gently, coaxing the baby to go to sleep. It was cute to see her does that. But of course that doesn’t mean that I need to get pregnant anytime soon. Not yet anyway.

We were at the hospital until 8pm. After breaking fast with a piece of kurma, a mineral bottle, and a bar of chocolate, we bid farewell to the new parents and rushed off to the nearest restaurant in a state of sheer hunger. After a plate of rice and rendang chicken, we made our way back to Seremban.

So yeah, I have a nephew now. Both mother and baby are at her parents’ house, recuperating. I don’t think I’ll be seeing them anytime soon. Perhaps during the Raya holidays.

The Pictures I Promised

Remember I promised some pictures taken during my trip to Terengganu with the family? Well, here are those pictures. Enjoy..

This is the sea view from our rooms

Raqib, Marsya and Bie enjoying themselves in the pool

Raqib just loves the water

Marsya by the pool. It was difficult to coax her into leaving the pool

The lunch we had at my parents' balcony

The pool where we swam in. It was really nice

The garden view from our rooms

This was the beach volleyball court

I was trying to get Raqib to walk

That's the whole family, except for Haikal, my youngest brother who had to leave us quite early coz he had to register at his university after a semester break

That's MY family

Friends: Season 2, Episode 7

I have always been a Friends fanatic. I remember most of the lines (well, the famous ones) and I most certainly remember some of the lines in Season 2, Episode 7: The One Where Ross Finds Out. In fact, it is one of my favourite episodes. It was where Rachel was drunk, but she had a date with Mike, and called Ross to tell him that she was over him. Then she threw the phone inside that wine cold-bucket-thingy. The next day, with a hang-over, she didn’t remember she made the call, until Ross wanted to listen to his messages and was surprised that there was a message from Rachel for him. Rachel, from her room, rushed to him to stop him from listening, but was too late. Ross had heard the message. Shocked and a little surprised, he said, “You are over me. But when were you under me?”. Gosh.. I just love that episode. It was so nice.

And later, he caught her at Central Perk, told her off and said that, “This ship has sailed”. But later he came back, watched her through the glass door who happened to be crying, and eagerly waited for Rachel to open the door. He went in, grabbed her and kissed her. It was sooooo good. I love that scene. I can watch it over and over and over again.

Ok, you must be wondering why I am writing this. Well two days ago, I just saw that particular episode on Star World (I am never tired watching Frinds re-runs) and it brought back nice memories. I remembered watching it first when I was in the UK. I remembered that the some of the Gurls (you know who you are.. don’t deny and be embarrassed about it) and I would watch video tapes of Friends non-stop (some of us bought the tapes) and whenever we were at that episode, we would be watching it with excitement. We were so into romance back then. Being young, childish and wanting to experience love, of course we loved the scene. And we loved watching it over and over again. It was funny. It was nice.

Of course I have the complete episodes of Friends, but the one where Ross finds out was burnt (Bie’s niece borrowed the tapes, and when her house burnt down, the tapes burnt with it. Too bad, I know..!!. But no worries, we’re getting the first four seasons. It’s not difficult to buy them now. Besides, everything’s in DVDs now. The ones that burnt down were on video tapes - during my UK student days).

Anyway, I though I’d share it with you. I love Friends and will always love Friends. If any of you are interested to have a marathon of Friends, let me know. I guess I can arrange something.

May we all have a circle of good Friends to watch over us.

What Should I Do

I went back to Seremban over the weekends to have Iftar with the family. I love it whenever I go back there during Ramadhan. Ayah would buy all sorts of food; interesting ones, appetizing ones and most of the time, too much (yes, sometimes Ibu would bicker about the amount spent on the foods and how later they would all be wasted), but these days I think Ayah has improved quite a lot. He still buys foods, but in moderation. It’s fun going to Pasar Ramadhan with him and I think Marsya knows that (she can twist her Atuk at her little finger.. easily. Nak buat camner? First grandchild).

Anyway, yes.. it was nice to go back. It felt comfortable. I guess, after being married for 6 years and having two kids, I just miss that ‘homey’ feeling. I’m not saying that my current home isn’t ‘homey’. It is, but once in a while, especially during Ramadhan, I just felt like wanting to be that young girl again. The girl whom Ayah picked up at the bus station on late Friday afternoons where later, that girl and Ayah would go to Pasar Ramadhan together and buy all sorts of foods and goodies, varieties of kuih-muih, yong tau foo, rojak Singapore, roti john, murtabak… [sigh].. the memories are just so comforting.

Last weekend was no different, except that now I have two kids with me.

Anyway, enough about these memories. Last night, I had a short conversation with Ibu. We were in the car heading towards Acik’s house after terawih. Acik wanted to see my kids (she missed them) and she had bought Raqib a Baju Melayu. A bit big for him (who am I kidding.. IT IS big for him), but I think he looks cute in it. She told me that she’s worried about my dearest Bie. She wanted him to get a proper job. She felt that the current political scenario these days are not conducive for anyone who wanted to start up a construction company especially if you don’t have anough capital or have the right contact. Besides, current contacts will ensure that they’re ‘full first’ before considering others. I kept quiet. I don’t know whether I should be defensive or agree with her. She further said that as a mother, she feels for me. She feels for the kids. She doesn’t want me to endure any hardship. It’s enough that things were difficult for the family when my brothers and I were little, so now she doesn’t want to see me encountering such difficulty.

I guess I was a little defensive last night. I told her that things are ok. And that Bie does help out. At least I don’t have to pay the monthly house instalments or pay the bills. Bie ensures that all those things are paid for. He does get money from some of the miscellanous things that he’s doing, except that he needs to save wherever necessary coz he will not be getting paid on a monthly basis. Ibu said she understands, but she is still worried. She wants me to consider a proper job for Bie. A job with a salary on a monthly basis.

I don’t how how to react to this. I want Bie to be successful at what he’s doing. He’s been on it for a year and a half now and I don’t want to see all efforts gone to waste. I guess luck is just not on his side yet. But I don’t know. I’m ok now with the whole idea. I am emotionally accepting it. But Ibu and perhaps also some other people i.e. my brothers, aunts, and/or uncles may not be keen to the idea anymore. I don’t know. But I know Ibu is worried. She wishes that Bie considers on getting a proper job. I don’t know what to think.

Before we got off from the car, Ibu told me not to be ‘kecik hati’ or feel disheartened. She’s saying it coz she loves me. She can’t bear to see me endure any hardship or difficulty. I completely understand that. I’m her daughter. What mother wants to see her child in problems? I told her that I’m ok with it, though inside I felt a little sad. Sad at… I don’t know what. I am not angry with Ibu. She has every right to say those things. But I don’t think I should be angry at Bie as well. He has his dreams and wishes to see those dreams being fulfilled. I guess now he knows that it’s not easy to start up something. It requires a lot of patience, persevarence and tolerance. I am really at a crossroad. I still want to support Bie to accomplish whatever he intends to do. But I don’t want to ignore Ibu’s advice totally. I think I’m still able to support Bie (financially and mentally… hopefully), but the question is, till when? Ayah hasn’t said anything. My brothers haven’t said anything. My parents-in-laws haven’t been saying anything (if they do, I don’t think they’d discuss it with me). No one has said anything to me except for Ibu. And I don’t think I should ignore that.

Yesterday, while in the car heading towards Rembau to buy foods for Iftar (I know.. a bit too far to buy our juadah berbuka puasa, but Ayah likes to take drives before Iftar, and that was how we ended up in Rembau), Bie told expressed his tiredness at what he’s doing. There seems to be nothing and he was just tired of it. He even thought of ‘burying’ GSSB (his company). I felt sad for him. I remember him being all eager when he first wanted to set up. He came up with a variety of names for his company, and even came up with his own logo, which I think is very nice. It’s like as if there are three persons holding up something (a ball or something); together. The three persons represent himself and his two partners. But now, Bie seems to be the only person holding up that ball. His two other partners have long gone.

I don’t what to do. What should I do? I really hope to get answers soon. I hope Allah will help me clear my head on this..

Cutting Queue

I can’t understand why some people do not have the decency to be more civic-minded these days. It’s just so irritating to find these people selfishly went ahead their business without thinking whether their actions are causing hardships to other people. Somehow I have very low tolerance for people like this. Is it so very hard to be civic? Didn’t their mothers teach them? Ok..that’s a bit harsh, and I shouldn’t say that. But it irritates me to see people becoming more selfish everyday.

Last Saturday, I went to Mid Valley. There were a lot of people there. I was with my kids, Bie and the maid. First we went to Metrojaya to buy Marsya her Raya shoes (I know it’s too soon, but the shoes were on sale), then to Jusco for Raqib’s pajamas (it’s cheaper there.. I am not the type that buys expensive pajamas for her children). After that, we did a bit of grocery shopping in Carrefour. There were just so many people there. Everyone doing their last minute shopping to stock up their fridges and kitchen cabinets with food in view of the Ramadhan. So of course there were long queues everywhere. And like any respectable human being, everyone queued up for their turns to pay for the items that they bought. And do note that each person has a trolley full of things, so the cashier did take quite a while to settle payment for each customer.

I was standing behind two ladies. I had a basket which I placed on the floor. Raqib was in the pushchair whereas Marsya was prancing up and down with a toy sword (which the Carrefour management has cleverly placed near the cash counters) and was persuading me to buy the sword for her. My maid was minding Raqib in the pushchair. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a rude man just walked over my basket, wanting to go to the other side. I had food in there. So I was mad. I uttered my dismay loudly asking the man to apologise. But he acted like as if he didn’t hear me and just walked away. I was mad. Hello…!! Can’t you be more apologetic? The nerve of that man. He didn’t have the decency and the moral to walk aside the basket like everybody else. So you can imagine how my blood was boiling at that time. But that is not the end of the story.

As I was still waiting in the line, and was about to pay, suddenly I saw a huge Middle Eastern man (one of those Pak Arabs) standing in front of me with a trolley full of things. I looked at him in shock. What the heck? My maid seeing my expression like that explained that she saw the man trying to cut the queue but didn’t know what to say. Here I was, juggling with my two kids (Bie went for prayers), both hungry while one of them was begging me to buy her the toy sword. And to make matters worse, I just had an idiot walked over my basket. Believe me, my anger hadn’t subsided yet. So, I did the only thing that an angry tired mother does.

Me: Excuse me (I tapped him on his shoulder). What do you think you’re doing? There’s a queue here and everyone is queuing up.

Him: I was here first.

Me: No, no.. I was here. Right behind those two ladies. You have to queue just like everyone else.

Him: I was here. You don’t believe me, you ask my friend over there. I had him standing here for me.

Me: What??!! I didn’t see any friend.

Him: He’s just over there (pointing to a friend who had just paid and was busy putting his platic bags in the trolley). He stood for me just now.

Me: I didn’t see your friend. He was not here. I was behind the two ladies.

Him: He was here.

Me: Was your friend holding anything? A basket? Pushing a trolley? I don’t think so. Because I didn’t see any.

Him: I’m not sure, but he was standing here for me.

At this time, even the cashier asked him to queue up like everyone else.

Me: Oh come on. Look at you. You have so many things in your trolley. And I only have a basket. (Oh my God..!! This man is unbelievable. I was feeling very, very mad and I think he saw that. I shook my head, clenched my fist and was about to burst when suddenly…)

Him: Ok, look. Why don’t you go first before me, yeah?

Me: Hhmm… Ok (and immediately carried my basket and placed in on top of the counter. At that time, I was quite embarrassed coz I had apparently created quite a spectacle).

As I walked passed him, Raqib pushed his trolley to the side. Well, with his baby hands, the trolley didn’t even move. But the man, I guess wanting to make amends said,

Him: Even your son is angry with me.

Me: Yeah well.. sorry for that (at that time, I had mellowed down a bit. After all, I got to pay first and not him). I was quite angry so it’s only natural that he follows me too. But yeah, sorry for that (the tone of my voice had gone down at this point in time).

I quickly paid for my things and walked away. My dearest Bie only caught the whole thing at the end. But I told him what happened.

And believe me, that was not all, but because I didn’t hear it but it was Bie, I didn’t have the opportunity to reply to those strangers’ remarks. Well, whenever we go out to shopping complexes like that, I will put a leash on Marsya. A nice leash that looks like a soft toy cow is hugging her from behind. So while I was dragging Marsya to McDonalds, apparently many people just had to make remarks at how I was ‘treating’ my daughter. Some looked at it approvingly, some expressed shock, and one just had to say that I was treating her like a dog. When Bie told me that (we were already seated at that time), I was mad. I just told off a huge Pak Arab, so if I had known who had said that, I would tell her off as well.

Bie said that the person who said that looked like she wasn’t married yet. So of course she wouldn’t know the significance of the leash. I was like, “So? Does that give her the right to comment on my child like that?” .. yeah, I was actually mad. But of course, I tried to rationalize it. Those people who make remarks like that probably do not have kids and find it odd that I would actually put my daughter on a leash. And of course, they haven’t traveled enough so do not know that the leash is one of the mechanisms to ensure that your child does not wander off and get lost. Surprisingly, I don’t get many reactions like that if I was in One Utama. I think it’s the crowd. Oh well.. I was prepared to forgive her for that remark and try not to make it personally. But still I couldn’t help but feel angry to whomever that lady was that said that about my daughter.

But the point is, where has all the civic-minded people gone too? Don’t get me started about motorists. It’s just so sad to see many kiasu and selfish people on the roads these days. And I don’t think I want to touch on that.

Funny how it is these days.

Happy Ramadhan Everyone

First and foremost, I would like to wish all my Moslem friends a Happy Ramadhan. I hope that we all get to fast for a complete month this year, which I know may seem a bit impossible for some, especially my girlfriends. But no worries, let’s just give it our best shot ok.

As usual, I am supposed to be doing work, but since today is the first day of the fasting month (I meant at work) I thought, why not just take a rest for a while. If one considers about the work, it is never-ending. So I think it’s ok to take a breather for a while.

The reunion with some of my school friends two Saturdays ago was fantastic. I didn’t think I would enjoy it, but I was wrong. Yes at first I was nervous and all, but after a while, I was alright. In fact, I think I was among the noisy ones. Trust me. And of course, I was the one that ate a lot as well. These friends of mine were quite amazed at the amount of food I ate. Come to think of it, yes I did eat a lot. What can I say? I just enjoy my food.

I got to know a lot of things about them. Bear in mind that I haven’t seen some of these girls since I left school. One of them is a Maths teacher in MRSM Jelebu, the other is a property valuer, the other is an accountant who is in-between jobs. Her last job was in Bermuda and in October, she’ll be moving to Amsterdam, working. Another friend is an engineer who is waiting for a job offer in Australia. Seriously, these women are really great. Of course, some of them have problems as well, and these problems were shared like as if we’ve just met each other last week. It’s just amazing when a group of friends who have not seen one another in a long time do not mind sharing these problems, just for the sake of sharing. So yeah, emotionally, we did connect. It was good.

Anyway, I really would like to thank Mas for sponsoring the reunion. I seriously would love to do it again. Hopefully we can meet during Raya, yeah?