Why Oh Why Must It Always Be The Man

There is an AC meeting this morning. The thing which made me upset was that, I was the one who prepared the paper, but I didn’t get to be in the meeting. The one who got to be in the meeting was someone who didn’t prepare the paper. Who knew very little of the proposal that I prepared like mad for the past couple of weeks (talking with investment bankers, lawyers, and Management of our holding company, going back late, etc), but joined the meeting like he was someone special. And the fact that he got to be in, was because he is a MAN. Though the company talks about gender equality, BS!! I don’t think it is an acknowledged statement. Save for perhaps this one particular sister company whose head is a woman, other heads of companies are male.

I was in the huge boardroom this morning, arranging the presentation slides so that CIMB can do its bit. The Manager asked me why I wasn’t in the meeting, and I could only look at my boss and smiled. The least that my boss could do was invite me to join in the meeting. But no. He didn’t utter a word. I can’t expect to invite myself there. It wouldn’t be right. For meetings like this, you have to be invited in order to join it. Unless of course you’re top management, then you can do anything you like.

I even wrote my career aspiration (in my PMS form) something related to gender inequality, just to get it off my chest. Something about I want to hold senior posts in the company, but most of them are held by men. When in fact, women are as capable, but have to prove themselves twice as much just to be in league with the men. I couldn’t believe I wrote that down. I wonder what my Management thinks of me after they read that. Oh well, I just had to get it off my chest. And what better way but during PMS time.

Gasses Today

I don’t think my tummy’s doing well today. I think I’ve got the gasses. Or gastric as we like to fondly call it. I don’t think I have been eating wrongly. I have been eating at the right time. I haven’t been skipping my meals or anything. But today, at about 10.30am or so, I felt it. The gas. My feet were also cold. It wasn’t painful, well not yet anyway (hopefully never), but it feels really uncomfortable. I thought of not buying food today because I made a sandwich this morning, but my tummy called for hot food. Broth-like food. So I went to Plaza Sentral and bought myself a bihun sup. And though it didn’t make everything alright, it did improve the discomfort in my tummy. For now.

And now I am not in any mood to do much work. Luckily the major bulk of the tasks, well this one important stuff anyway, has been done. Tomorrow’s the meeting. The paper has been done and circulated, and the presentation slides are also ok. And now, what with the discomfort in the tummy, I am not in the mood to do much of anything.

Therefore, I better stop at that. Please let the gasses dissipate.

Cow’s Legs

I received a query from a friend in my Facebook asking why my blog is now ‘bersawang’ in other words, abandoned and deserted. Yes, I have to admit that I haven’t been blogging anything. So many things have happened but so little time to actually do any updating. You see, my boss isn’t around. He went for his Hajj and has not yet returned. And basically, I have to be responsible for some of the tasks that my boss left me with. And let’s just say that now I know what he has went through since he became the Head of Department. I am not even heading the department during his absence (our tasks were distributed evenly before he left), but taking up some of the roles that he has been doing is certainly quite a headache. I had to be twice as vigilant. Twice as active and do a lot of thing just to get one work completed. Previously, all I had to do was the work. And my boss would worry about the other things. But these days, not only do I have to do the work, I also have to oversee the worrying bit. And yes, it is getting to me. And I think I need a break.

And since that dear friend has dropped a query in my Facebook, I have decided to start updating the blog again. Well, my 2010 new year’s resolution, among them is to update my blog on a weekly basis. I wonder whether I can sustain until the end of 2010. Well, we just have to see.

I have put on a lot of weight lately. Now I weigh exactly 63kg. That is a LOT for me. I’m not that tall. I never reach above 60kg unless I am pregnant. And the thing is, I am NOT pregnant. Besides, my ideal weight is around 54kg or 55kg. Needless to say, I have gained 10kg over the last goodness knows how many months!! This has caused a huge concern. I suppose my buttocks have grown bigger. Sideways… uurrgghh..!! And I have also developed a tummy. My hips are huge. And they don’t look particularly good in jeans. To make matters worse, which made me upset for weeks to come was that, Ibu said my legs look like COW’S LEGS. Imagine that? My legs look like COW’S LEGS? The nerve. Well, the statement sort of coincides with the recent Aidil Adha. There were many cows about. Aarrgghh… something has to be done about this. Her statement affected me. Though a friend of mine said, “At least she said your legs look like cow’s legs. At least it’s small at the ankles, but what if she had said that your legs are like elephant’s legs, that would be even worse. So thank God that your legs look like cow’s legs”. Well, if you put it that way, yes I prefer a cow’s leg to an elephant’s leg, but still…

So among my new year’s resolution is to loose weight. I know that it’s going to be difficult. I am a FOOD lover. I eat food. I like food. I have never been on a diet for the whole of my entire life. I never exercise as well. I guess that has to change. I still eat, but I will TRY to eat sparingly i.e. not stuff everything in my mouth like I used to. Previously, even when I eat a lot, I do not gain weight. The reason being, I was below 30 – my metabolism is still high, and I was breastfeeding (there was a lot of fat in those milk expressed. Trust me. I washed the bottles). But now I’m above 30 (not a lot mind you… slightly above the big 30.. I know, I’m still in denial about my age), my metabolism rate isn’t what it used to be. And I no longer express milk. So yeah, something has to be done about it. Apart from eating sparingly, walking isn’t a bad form of exercise, right? So yeah, I need running shoes. Hopefully that would get me motivated into doing some running after work. We will see.

Please wish me luck, ok. I need to fit back into those Levi’s jeans (though I just had a roti telur this morning.. arrgghhh..)