Accident

I got out of the car this morning feeling somewhat pleased. I just saw The Lakehouse the night before and though there were few loopholes in the movie, I didn’t care. Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock gave wonderful performances. Their presence made the movie worthwhile watching. Who am I kidding? I am in love with Keanu Reeves (who isn’t) since he acted in Point Break back in the early 1990’s. And seeing him in a romantic movie again after such a while was just something that I look forward to. Though he played Diane Keaton’s boyfriend in Something’s Gotta To Give, he was just a supporting actor. But I liked him in that movie too all the same. He somehow has this appeal. Oh gosh, what am I saying… Mel Ija, focus.

Anyway, I locked the car and walked slowly towards the building that I work in. Suddenly, right in front of me, a Kancil sped fast. I don’t know when or how, but a motorcycle was in front of it. And within seconds, there was a loud BOOM..!! The Kancil knocked the motorcycle. What I saw after that was somehow captured in my head in a manner of slow motion. The Kancil knocked against the back wheel of the motorcycle, sending its rider toppling into the air, the helmet he wore slipped out of his head and he fell hip first to the ground, bounced on it like as if the ground was a Dunlop mattress and fell again, hard.

I was shocked. The man tried to sit up but couldn’t seem to do it. He seemed to be in terrible pain. The Kancil driver got off his car to help the man. He also went to check his car, no doubt to see whether it was damaged after he knocked against the motorcycle. Luckily the injured man could still talk. I couldn’t see blood in any part of his body, but his head was bleeding. Few people rushed to aid the injured man. I saw passing motorists looking at me. Apparently I still had both my hands on my mouth, an impulse reaction to suppress the sense of shocking ness after witnessing the accident that had just occurred in front of me.

An accident involving a motorcycle is the second of such that I have witnessed in my life. The first was when I was 19. A truck driver made a surprising turning to the left, without any signal and a motorcycle who happened to be quite fast knocked against the truck. The rider rammed onto the truck; head first. He fell to the road, unmoving. I was on my way to the hospital at that time and urged my mother to stop the car and help the man. But my mother was too scared. She has never liked accidents, having been in one herself. Nearby pedestrians and motorists stopped by to help. However, the truck driver didn’t. He drove off very quickly leaving the probably lifeless man to his fate. Till this day, I always think about that accident and wondered whether the poor man got out of the accident alive. I sincerely hope so though. I hope he was all right.

I walked to the lift this morning looking very while. The incident kept on playing in my head like a broken VCR… [Sigh]. Devastated? Yes, I am. I hope that the poor motorcyclist isn’t terribly injured. I really hope so.

A&W PJ… As Usual

It’s been a while since I have been hanging out with the Girls. I treasure the Girls as they were my family back in Newcastle and if I haven’t seen them for ages, I would make sure to arrange events so that we could get together. But alas, that’s not to be. Each and every one of the Girls has commitments. At first I refuse to understand those commitments… being selfish, yet again. But after the Girls gave their explanation (which made me feel horrible thinking just how selfish I was), I relented. In fact, I am trying to be un-selfish. From this day forward, I shall not be pestering the Girls anymore (try not to, though how hard it may seem for me) to go on gatherings, etc. I don’t think it’s appropriate. If time permits it, then we’ll meet up. Otherwise, there are always e-mails. However, that did not deter my plans to meet up with the Girls, well… some of the Girls at A&W PJ last Sunday.

There were only three of us; Yamm, Farah and me. We met up at the A&W PJ, as usual. One might think, of all the places in KL, why A&W PJ. Well, Farah lives in Bangi and PJ is the nearest place that her hubby can send her (coz after that her hubby went to the movies by himself). Another reason is that, we just LOVE to hang out at the A&W PJ. The sense of familiarity is overwhelming.

Yamm and I reached the restaurant at 11.20am. Farah was already there. We could see her through the glass window sitting alone while eating her fried chicken. I parked the Kembara and went inside to greet her. Then both Yamm and I went to order our food. I had a Mozza burger while Yamm had fried chicken. Then we changed table and after placing my tray on the table, I hugged Farah, very tightly. It’s been a while and somehow or rather, I missed her. Funny, eh? Hehehehe…

Farah was alone. She left her daughter with her in-laws. As for me, I left Marsya with my dearest Bie. It was time that he took care of her without me being there. Of course he took her to his parents’ house. So there we were, three girls sitting, chatting and laughing. It was good. I didn’t think that I would actually enjoy it since there were only three of us, but no. Surprisingly, I rather enjoyed it. Since Yasmin wasn’t there, Farah could actually talk to us care freely. And I was surprised at the many things that I learnt about her. She talked about her daughter and hubby, the new house that she has just purchased (congratulations dear) in Bandar Seri Putra, her terrible workload, the interview that she couldn’t attend, and the fact that she has this problem, relating to health which I didn’t know she has. It was like re-learning stuff about your friend. A friend whom you thought you knew. Apparently, I didn’t know that Farah was going through all these. So meeting up with her last Sunday was definitely worthwhile.

After the food at the A&W, we headed to Amcorp Mall. Yamm and I wanted to look for DVDs. But of course we took a slight detour. We went to the flea market and man, there were just so many antique stuff down there. Then we went to various clothes store, the pc games shop, Giordano, and finally the DVD shop. After browsing through the DVD selections, it was already half past two. Time to go home. But as we walked towards the main entrance, we could see that it was raining quite heavily. We still couldn’t go home. So we went back downstairs and decided to hang out at the Rak Thai restaurant. I had Rak Thai kuey teow which was wrapped in eggs, Yamm had spaghetti Thai or something whereas Farah had the rice dish. They were good. The foods, I mean. And the portions were huge. I couldn’t finish mine. So we talked again while eating. Without we realized it, it was a quarter to four. Bie had called saying that Marsya was doing the poo poo-ing quite often, but luckily, she wasn’t having any stomach ache or anything. And he asked me, “Biler you nak balik nie? Jangan lewat sangat”.

We left Amcorp Mall around four. After I sent Yamm home, I went straight to my in-laws. Bie was applying minyak nona on Marsya’s feet and tummy. Apparently, she had just done another poo poo. The minute he saw me, I could see happiness in his face and he immediately asked me to put on Marsya’s clothes. Of all the nerves. But I went ahead and put it on anyway. Marsya was happy to see me and not long after, she started touching you know what, wanting her milk. Sabar jerlah.

I enjoyed the meet up. Yes there were only three of us, but it was good. We managed to learn about each other and it’s been a while since we did that. Thank you Farah and Yamm for meeting up with me yesterday. It was really nice and I appreciate the time and efforts taken. I treasure both of you very much. In fact, I treasure ALL the Girls very much. Let’s hope we can meet up again very soon, if not all, just a few of us would do. Trust me, a few is better rather than not to have met up at all. And again, of course subject to the Girls’ availability (remember Ija, you shalt not pester).

Need Time For Myself

Life has been a little stressed lately. The thing is, I don’t know where the stress is. It could be work-related. Bits and pieces of it could be from family stuff. But largely, it’s basically me. I am personally stressed. I am tired. Marsya is a little lasak these days. Last Sunday, she fell down and tore her lower lip. She was running and as those little feet are still unable to properly balance, she fell. There was surprisingly a lot of blood. My dearest Bie’s shirt was smeared with her blood. I was a little shaken coz that sort of thing has never happened to her before. And that night, when she was sleeping, as she still breastfeeds, she bit my nipple quite hard in comparison with previous biting and it bled, quite profusely, I may add. I had to place a tissue on it to prevent the blood from dripping and smearing on my night shirt. And the subsequent breastfeeding was REALLY painful. Tension sangat whenever she asks for her milk. But, I guess that’s a sacrifice I have to make to ensure that my daughter breastfeeds until the age of two, Insya Allah.

Bie has been rather busy lately. His work commitments have resulted in him staying at work late. Now that he’s heading the pond team, he is busier than ever. I hoped that the management gives him the appropriate perks and benefits considering that now he’s heading pond. But hampeh. Nothing. His salary remains the same, but his responsibilities have widened. I hate that. Whenever I mention the issue to him, his reply would be, “Biarlah. I need to achieve this target first. And when I can do that, at least I have a strong point to argue when discussing salary revisions and benefits”. So, he continues to come home late. Working on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays. Then there were the frequent trips to Tronoh, Perak. But I’m glad that’s finished now. During his free time, at least once a week, he would be playing futsal. Something he does to release the stress and tension. Something which I haven’t been able to do. I wanted to go away. Take about three to four of my annual leave and stay at a resort or a hotel. I had wanted to go to Awana Kijal in July. But Bie said he’s busy and that we should wait until his works are settled. At this rate, I don’t know when it’s going to be settled.

I am tired. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who’s taking care of Marsya. I know Bie does too, but most of the time, it would be me. Whenever we go out, I would be the one ensuring that Marsya is fed before I feed myself. Bie would eat heartily. Well, he does volunteer to take care of Marsya while I eat, but it’s always after he has finished eaten. I don’t mean to be macam bagus here, but whenever he asked to take care of Marsya while I eat, I always brush him off, suggesting a scenario that I am well capable of taking care of Marsya while eating at the same time. When for actual fact, I was screaming inside telling him that why not YOU feed Marsya while I eat. I haven’t had the luxury to eat comfortably in a long time. Unless it’s just me and him, without Marsya. And my daughter pulak does not know how to sit quietly. She gets bored easily. So not long after, she would be climbing out of the baby chair trying to stand up, or she would sit at the narrow ledge of the baby chair, or she refuses to sit in the baby chair at all. On my lap she would be sticking her tiny fingers in my food or placing a bowl of rice on her head, leaving traces of rice in her hair. It’s tiring having dinner with the family.

I did ask Bie whether he’s ready for another baby, and he said, “It’s up to you coz you will be the one carrying the baby for nine months. Are you ready for that?” to which I just kept quiet. I think I’m ready to carry the baby for nine months, but I don’t think I can handle two babies i.e. a toddler and a baby, at the same time without getting major help from a husband. If my dearest Bie knows this, of course he will refute this. I have to admit that, he does help in other ways but when I am just too tired, I always see him as a person who’s not helping much around the house. How selfish is that, eh? I never clean the bathrooms or mop and sweep the floors or use the vacuum cleaner (in fact, I don’t even know how to). I guess both of us complement each other. But being me, I just wish sometimes that he pays more attention to helping me sorting out our daughter (baru sorang tu)… [sigh]… I need a break. I need time for myself.

I have been thinking of pampering myself for a day. In fact, Bie encourages it too. He suggested that I act like as if I go to work as usual, but rather than go straight to the office after I sent Marsya to Maksu’s, I should go somewhere else. I am contemplating on doing that. Watch a movie perhaps, go to a spa, do a hair treatment and be a couch potato and watch TV all day. Later in the evening, go fetch Marsya. It sounds really good. But biler hah? Hhmm… will have to set a day for this, maybe next Friday? Hhhmmm… interesting.

More Superman...

I am still into Superman. Sorry, I can’t help it. The Superman effects haven’t worn off yet. Therefore, I’d like to share this article written by Michael A. Fredericks. I am in complete agreement with him.

SUPERMAN wears his underwear outside. It’s red. He only has to put on his glasses to assume his alter-ego. He’s also a tad too righteous. It all seems ludicrous.

And with today’s cinemagoers having developed a taste for the now commonplace silverscreen superheroes, who carry out their heroic deeds - swinging through an urban jungle with organic webbing, firing powerful "optic blasts" from their eyes, stretching body parts to unbelievable lengths, and growing humongous and green when angry – in super-stylish fashion without breaking a sweat, the idea that is Superman seems…old.

But Bryan Singer seems to know that it doesn’t matter; it works if it’s Superman. In fact, it could only work if it’s Superman; the man in the blue tights and red cape will remain relevant regardless of the idealistic image and retro flaws.

(To wit, imagine an X-Men team with their undies outside; or a Hulk that’s too righteous; or a Spider-Man who merely has to put on his specs to go incognito.)

One could even posit that reinventing Supes could prove to be detrimental. Which is why Singer’s take on the mythology of the Man of Steel, although different in the sense that it’s less campy comic-bookish fun than the Reeve movies, also seems strangely familiar [TOTALLY agree with this one].

It doesn’t take us long to realise that Singer isn’t going to reimagine things the way Batman Begins did, that he’s going to build things on his film’s predecessors [Gave me goose bumps here. The similarity is so overwhelming].

As Superman Returns opens, we hear the voice of the late Marlon Brando, as superdad Jor-El, spouting much gibberish, exactly like he did then. John Williams’ original music score then begins to swell, complementing the opening credits, the lettering of which duplicates that of its predecessors.

With that blast-from-the-past intro, the story begins in earnest. We learn that Superman (Routh) has been away for a while – five years, to be exact – to look for the remains of his home planet, after he fought off three supervillains and got to do the horizontal mambo with Lois Lane [I remember this so well. The supervillains were from his home planet. His dad Jor-El imprisoned them in a glass but when the glass broke, they managed to escape. I also remember Superman getting all cozy and intimate with Lois Lane. They shared a bed for goodness sake after he sacrificed his super powers coz he was hooked on Lois Lane. Way cool..!!].

Yes, the story here takes place after the events of Superman II, which says something about what Singer thinks about the third and fourth instalments [Can’t wait for the sequels].

Superman/Clark Kent realises soon enough that the world, as well as the Daily Planet, kept spinning in his absence, and people have moved on. He has probably never felt more alien in his life.

Lois (Bosworth) is now engaged to Richard (Marsden, who seems to like playing characters where his lover is in love with some other more-manly guy), the nephew of Daily Planet editor Perry White (Langella), and to add insult to injury, they have a FIVE-YEAR-OLD son (Lake Leabu). She’s also written a Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial called “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”, we suspect out of frustration and anger.

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (Spacey), now out of prison, has just landed himself a whole load of cash – more than enough to pay for a trip to his nemesis’ hideout, the Fortress of Solitude, to pilfer the crystals our hero left behind. Needless to say, Luthor, the Greatest Criminal Mind Of All Time, has plans - something to do with real-estate built on Kryptonite landmass - to make a major comeback [I think Spacey makes the perfect Lex Luthor. He is menacing and evil, but with style].

Likewise for Superman, who sets out to reclaim his place in the puny planet that is his adopted world.

First thing he does to that effect is save Lois from getting killed in a plane crash, which really is an excuse to showcase the CGI here. It’s an amazing cinematic moment that is stunning visually, vicariously. As the people onscreen applaud his return, we are compelled to do so too [I love the CGI effects here. They were way cool. It made me cringe in my seat. And when Superman opened the door to ask if everybody was alright, I felt like standing up and telling him that I was fine. See, sampai macam tu sekali. Hehehe..]

But if you think this one’s going to be merely about the action and special effects – which puts a gleam on the whole Superman franchise – think again. Superman Returns strives to provide more, and does so by being character-driven.

The film spends a lot of time on the love story between Lois and Superman, expanding it with the inclusion of Richard, who’s really a swell guy (he flies, too, but by more conventional means). Like the Spider-Man movies, it gets the emotional aspect right [Very affected with the emotional aspects here. What to do. I’m a woman. And women can relate better in those sort of things compared to men].

It helps, of course, that both Routh and Bosworth fit in their respective roles, and look good together [Very good. I love it when Lois Lane stood on Superman’s toes and suddenly they were already in the air. Superb, I tell you. Now that’s what I call romance in the air].

Routh, with his angular jaw, pronounced eyebrows, and imposing six-two-and-a-half frame, is a wise choice to take up the mantle left behind by a great man. Looking like a metrosexual update who poses in midair frequently, he’ll never fill Reeve’s big red boots - nobody will - but you wouldn’t go into fits if you’re a Superman devotee (something which the casting of Nicolas Cage would have provoked) [Completely agree with Fredericks here. He will never fill in Reeves’ boots. But I don’t think there’s anyone else better than to carry the legacy than Brandon Routh. He is just so perfect for the role. I did hear that Cage was supposed to be Superman. Man, am I glad that he’s not doing it. He is SO NOT perfect for the role. He’s got no hair – no offense there – and his face is just not right for the role. Luckily he wasn’t casted as Superman or else that’d be a betrayal to the Superman legacy].

In super mode, Routh channels a reflective, brooding (super) person; we feel his longing for something/someone. As mild-mannered Clark Kent, he is sufficiently clumsy, though not nearly as comfortable as Reeve was in the comedic characteristics he brought to the role.

The difference between Bosworth and Margot Kidder, who played Lois Lane in the previous movies, is even more prominent. Bosworth as Superman’s one-time lover is all poise, though she keeps a worried look on her face throughout. She, like Routh, looks younger than her predecessor was, but feels more adult and serious in the role.

Spacey comes closest in chanelling his predecessor, Gene Hackman, although he tones down the monologues, and is less winky, coming across more bitter, vengeful, and menacing.

Similarly, the supporting cast all fit in their respective roles, especially Parker Posey whose deadpan delivery as Kitty steals the show several times.

At 157 minutes, Superman Returns may seem a tad too long, but I can assure you, it would hardly register. While I wouldn’t call this one a great movie, it is more than satisfying and enjoyable (with humour strewn throughout), nicely laying out the foundation for future adventures of comicdom’s most iconic son [Let me repeat. I can’t wait for the sequels. In fact, I’m looking forward to them].

And the best thing about it? It would make you go all nostalgic. As cynical and perceptive a cinemagoer as you may be now, you wouldn’t mind the red underwear, the spectacles, or the overly righteous behaviour. In fact, you’d embrace it [Very true. Very true indeed].

He has returned, he has really returned.

A Sucker For Superheroes? Definitely…

When the whole world was excited to see the Superman Returns, I didn’t bother. I didn’t like the idea of a soap actor playing the role that the late Christopher Reeves did so well. I mean, whenever we talked about Superman, Reeves come to mind. Well, I’m not a hard die fan of the Superman trilogy but I did grow up with Reeves as Superman and watching the new movie would be some sort of a betrayal to him. So when my dearest Bie and I were at One Utama last night, we said, “What the heck, let’s just see the movie”. And thereon, we went to the cinema with no expectation at all; we just wanted to see a movie.

But man, was I wrong. The minute the opening music came on screen, the old familiarity of the Superman movies crept up in me. I could actually feel goose bumps. In fact, I was a little excited. So when Superman, this time played by Brandon came back to earth after missing for five years, I was a little skeptical. Could he pull it off? Could he become Superman? Could he become the goofy Clark Kent? But I watched anyway.

So as Clark Kent, he went to the Daily Planet to get his old job back. And I was surprised at the resemblance. The way he spoke, moved and pushed his glasses was just like Reeves as Clark Kent..!! In fact, his goofiness was apparent. I was excited. And of course he turned into Superman to save a plane from crashing and right at that moment, I was highly infatuated with the new Superman. I liked it that Brandon Routh (pronounced as ‘south’) is now the new man of steel. He was good. I guess he did his homework all right. And now, I’m a sucker for him. A sucker for Brandon Routh as Superman. I like the movie. Directed by Bryan Singer (who also directed the first two X-Men), the movie was action-packed and filled with suspense. I like the Superman Returns very much. I like Brandon as the new Superman. And now I can’t wait for the sequel.

I have always been infatuated with superheroes. Call me silly, but it’s true. Whenever I watch a superhero movie, the after effect of it would a bit childish. I actually feel like a schoolgirl. I would have stars in my eyes and I would think of them before I go to sleep. Silly isn’t it? [sigh]… what to do.. I grew up with the notions of being surrounded by superheroes. And now with the advancement in technology, not to mention good-looking men in tight spandex outfits, Hollywood has made these movies with class and style. Among my favourites is Batman, played by Christian Bale – I SO LIKE Christian Bale. He played Batman in Batman Begins with absolute style. And his character as Bruce Wayne is just so cool. Rich man by day but a caped crusader by night.

Then there’s Spiderman. Tobey McGuire as Spiderman is just so perfect. In the second movie, Jake Gyllenhaal nearly took over his role as Spiderman as Tobey was engaged in Seabiscuit. But Tobey refused to allow that. So he came back as Peter Parker in Spiderman 2. And as usual, I was infatuated with him after the movie (make that for both movies). I like the nice kid element in Peter Parker and Tobey played that part so well. And he looks adorable as Spiderman.

And of course, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. I love ALL X-MEN movies because all of them are superheroes. But I like Wolverine the best. I like him because he has this distinct rouge about him. He’s also strong and way cool. Hugh is the perfect person for Wolverine. At first, Dougray Scott (the Scottish who played Drew Barrymore’s prince in Ever After) was supposed to be Wolverine. But, he couldn’t do it, as he was involved in Mission Impossible 2. It was good that he couldn’t make it coz I think he may not be cut out for the role. Hugh Jackman, with his nice biceps and body is the perfect Wolverine. I can’t wait for the new Wolverine movie to come out. The movie will be focusing on him alone, without his X-Men buddies.

The best part is that, I always imagine myself as the woman in these superheroes’ lives. Hehehe… perasan giler kan? But I can’t help it. I am DEFINITELY a sucker for superheroes. And if only they truly exist, I think I would find ways to ensure that I somehow am a part of their lives.

[Sigh.. too much superhero movies. It’s overwhelming…!!]

Starting To Loose Faith

The NST today featured a story of Tajuddin Ramli’s RM13 billion suit against the government and his claims that Tun Dr M and Tun Daim forced him to buy the 32% stake in MAS for RM8 per share which was way above the current market rate at that time with the assurance that the government would buy back the shares at RM8 when the financial crisis was over and that he would be relieved of all personal liabilities and losses. The purchase was considered by Tun Dr M at that time as a purpose to serve the national’s interest. The suit came about because Tajuddin claimed that the government did not live up to its words.

Surprisingly, The Star’s front cover page featured the story on MyKad and that you’re supposed to bring it anywhere with you or else you’ll end up paying fines. The story on Tajuddin was merely an article on Datuk Seri Najib denying of any knowledge of the deal Tajuddin had with the former PM. There was no mentioning of names. Tun Dr M and Tun Daim were not highlighted in the article. It just mentioned that Tajuddin is suing the government.

Another joker mentioned in both papers is Mohd Said Yusof, the Jasin MP who made the nation’s interest a few months ago when he asked the customs to close one eye over his import of sawn timber from Indonesia. After much investigation, the company was registered using his home address (which I find very stupid indeed – his own home address? Come on… give me a break). And now, to cover his back no doubt, and fight back, he’s starting to reveal the dealings that go behind the customs department. And stupidly revealing that he’s one of those people who was offered the confiscated luxury cars, at RM40k , except that the car he was interested in was reserved for a senior government official. And that made him mad. He was mad because he couldn’t buy the Mercedes CLK but was offered the Mercedes Masterpiece instead.

The strained relationship between the former PM and Pak Lah is another matter. Tun Dr M’s verbal attacks on Pak Lah while the majority of the UMNO leaders are attacking Tun Dr M, saddens me. Datuk Nazri’s declaring open war against Tun Dr M is just rude. No doubt Tun Dr M’s criticism on the current government is too much, but the younger leaders, if angry even, please show the old man some respect. He had built Malaysia into what it is for 22 years. No doubt he has his flaws and this can easily be dug out considering he’s no longer the PM, but at least have the courtesy to answer the man with respect. This whole affair saddens me. I don’t even know which side I’m supposed to follow. I don’t know who is right and who is wrong. As this is very controversial, I think it should have been done behind closed doors. Once it’s open for the public to see, the break up in UMNO is very apparent. I thought the UMNO is supposed to help the Malays and fight its cause. But now, this happens?

The handing over of the memorandum signed by nine ministers to Pak Lah to review the laws regarding religious conversions in light of the tussle concerning the burial rites of Muhammad Abdullah whom his wife claimed was Hindu while JAWI claimed that he was a Moslem is another issue.

The joint venture between ECM Libra and Avenue Capital (government-related finance company) to form an investment bank where ECM Libra’s Executive Chairman is Pak Lah’s close friend while the owner of ECM Libra with about 3% stake in ECM Libra (that’s about 13 million shares) is Khairy, Pak Lah’s son in law is also something that the majority of the public is not happy with. One wonders how Pak Lah can keep a close eye on the deal considering that this is one “related party transaction”, well not in Bursa Malaysia’s context at least.

The parliamentary debate that is aired on TV3 news is a whole load of crap. The issues that they debate on are so not value adding or beneficial to the Malaysians.

All these are making me loose faith in the government. The politicians are jokers. They don’t deserve to be the people’s representatives. They’re all interested in filling up their pockets and bank accounts with huge RM bills. They do not have the nation’s interest in their hearts. It makes me sick. I don’t worry for myself. I worry for my children. My children will still be here in 20 or 30 years to come where they’re at that age to help steer the nation to a better position. But, looking at it now, will there be a nation to steer? At least a strong and convincing one?

Don’t Know What He Wants

He never gives the clearest instruction. When he does, the end product is never good enough for him. I mean, that’s what his instruction was, right? If you don’t like the way I do it, then guide me. Tell me where I had gone wrong. Don’t just comment here and there but by the end of it, you don’t guide me how to do it. How am I supposed to know what goes on in that head of yours. I’m not Professor Xavier or Jean Grey who can read people’s mind. As a boss, shouldn’t you be leading me towards what you want to achieve. But no, all you say is re-draft. Re-draft how? The first draft was as per you’ve instructed. At least have the courtesy to guide me. Ok, so you’re too busy and could not find the time to guide me. Well, at least tell me what you want, then I’ll deliver. The problem with you is, you expect people to follow your thinking all the time. Well, sometimes I can, but sometimes I can’t. So on the occasions that I couldn’t understand what you have in mind, then explain..!!

It’s frustrating when you think that you’re on the same track as your boss but by the end of it, you find out that you’re on very different tracks. Such a waste of time and effort. I know, people will say, “It’s a learning curve. Take it with a pinch of salt”. It’s a learning curve all right, but do I have to put up with it ALL the time. It’s sickening and I’m tired. The instructions given are usually a three-liner. The other information, which is crucial to my work, is not made known to me. So of course I have to go back to you to understand further. And you’d go, “Oh, it’s like this…”. What the heck?? Tell me the whole thing upfront. Why release information bit by bit. Usually I can tolerate it, but today, I’m sick of it. I’m no manager though some of the works you gave are beyond my level of grade’s responsibility. But I’m thankful. That shows that you think I’m capable of doing certain things. But like I said, I’m no manager. Sometimes, I need guidance. And as a boss, can’t you just give that to me? If not in so many words, at least communicate your intention so that I am fully aware of your needs and wants and thus deliver.

Ok, I don’t usually burst like this when given a task. But today somehow, my feminine emotions got the better of me.

“Stay focused, Mel. DO NOT give in to emotions. You’ve faced all these before and it has never touched you in the past. Well, yes some of them made you mad, but you managed to control your temper and emotions. This is just one of those days again. Relax, ok. Have fun. Besides, you’re going to be the mc for today’s birthday bash. You need all the coolness in the world. Just do what he asks of you. If he comes back with MORE amendments, then just amend them. I know you hate for him to think that you’re incapable and start comparing you with others in the department…, well DON’T. You’re so much more than that and you know it. Or else he wouldn’t have given you the you know what”.

Bosses… [sigh].. not all are cut out to be good ones.