Update

I haven’t been updating the blog for quite a while now. My intention to update once a week has somehow failed. Well, I can’t really blame myself (or should I?) coz things have been moving at a fast pace lately, and I am just enjoying the ride.

Last two weekends, I went to Johor for a conference. Three days and two nights. I stayed at Sofitel. It was a nice hotel. I liked it. Most of the participants were male. So you can imagine just how many males there were, old and young, at the conference. Some are nice, some are, hhmm.. how should I put this, EXTRA nice. Since this conference is considered as part of work, of course these married male participants felt like they were single throughout the 3-day conference, since their wives and kids weren’t around. And yes, I had few men trying to be up close and personal with me, inviting me for karaoke sessions, or just sitting next to me for dinner, or standing next to me during the refreshment breaks. I didn’t mind if they were young (being a bit choosy, aren’t we.. hehehe) but they were in their forties, with bald heads (well one of them) and looking at me from top to bottom with looks that made me want to puke in my mouth.

Since one of them happened to be one of the bosses here, of course he knew that I am married with kids. But man, the way he looked at me when I stepped down for dinner that night, gave me the creeps and these days, I am quite cautious of him. I don’t think I was overly dressed. I was wearing a sleeveless (not one of those tank tops, ok) that was like a turtleneck except that it has no sleeves (type of shirt you usually wear inside your jacket) and a shawl on my shoulder. The next day, I wore a black skirt and top, with a red scarf and a pair of boots (hehehe.. I know.. a pair of leather boots. I couldn’t help buying it. It was so cheap. 50 percent discount from the original price and it’s a Nine West). I don’t know if that sparked any interest. But I guess it did. Even a younger male participant (married though with four children) couldn’t help but stick around me for most of the time. But I could tolerate him. I guess it was the age factor that made me felt alright with it. At least I didn’t feel like puking.

But you know what? Despite the looks I got from them, and the ‘innocent’ invitations from them to hang out, I felt great. It boosted my confidence level knowing that I am still marketable. Hehehehe… bad isn’t it? But I couldn’t help it. I felt pretty and young, despite the fact that I have two kids. And of course I enjoyed the attention given. Who wouldn’t?

Bie and the kids did come down coz I couldn’t leave my baby behind. He is still breastfeeding. I told Bie about those men, and Bie (being his usual macho self) wasn’t angry a bit. In fact, he found it rather funny. He actually laughed. Funny isn’t it? But I had fun with the kids there during the night. The bed was huge so my kids had fun rolling themselves and jumping on top of the bed. The looks on their faces were priceless. Mental note: Must take them for a holiday.. and soon. Insya Allah.

Of course I had dinner with Bie. We went to Persada Johor coz my mom-in-law’s good friend; well her daughter that is, is working as a chef there. And we had briyani gam (which tasted better than the hotel food). And we also enjoyed the performance by the string quartet, which was imported all the way from Indonesia. All in all, it was good.

Now that’s on the conference. On the job offer; I am supposed to give a response soon right, and I was also expecting a bonus and an increment. But today, when I got the salary slip, I was disappointed to see that there was no increment and no bonus just as yet. I’m supposed to call that company up but my bonus isn’t in yet. So how can I compare and contrast?

Furthermore, a few days ago, my boss called me into his room. He asked me to update him some of my personal data. I was a little surprised. Why would he want that? I knew that I wasn’t due for any promotion (he made it clear earlier this year). And imagine my happiness when he told me that he was recommending me for a salary adjustment. Not much though, but considering that my responsibilities and job scope wouldn’t be affected, I welcome an increase in salary anytime, anywhere. So yes, I am waiting for that. Looks like I have to put hold the offer first until I see this so-called salary adjustment quantum, and of course my bonus payout.

Hhmm.. oh yes, we’re having a Group sports carnival soon. And guess what? I will be playing futsal for the company. The women’s team. At first I didn’t want to join because I just didn’t feel like it. I have never played futsal in my whole entire life, so I wasn’t about to start. But my homies were playing and they told me that they didn’t have any proper training. Unfortunately the guys’ team weren’t helping much in terms of coaching and training. And a colleague of mine (a guy) was constantly asking me to join the team. So I proposed to them to allow Bie to be the coach for the women’s team, and if Beckham is there, of course Posh too has to be there. Hehehehe.. so yeah, I am now officially a member of the team. We’ve only practiced twice, but I had fun on both occasions. Surprisingly, I could kick a ball or two. So after this, I think I’ll be watching Gol & Gincu.. for inspiration purposes. Hehehe..

That’s a lot up update isn’t it? The last update before I blog off; I am having a sleepover at Putrajaya tonight at Pah’s house. There’ll be about seven of us. At first we wanted to have a picnic, but in view of a possible rain, we thought we’d buy biryani rice (again) and eat it at Pah’s. It has always been fun hanging out with the Gurls. And I especially look forward to this particular gathering.

Have a nice weekend everyone!

Got An Offer

I went to an interview a few weeks back at this business consultancy firm somewhere in Tower 2 at KLCC. I wasn’t really looking for a new job, but I felt like testing the market. After all, I have been here at this company of mine for nearly seven years now. I don’t want to be too complacent. I didn’t even send out a lot of CVs. In fact, all I did was click on Jobstreet, about eight of them I think, and therefore I was quite surprised when they called me for an interview. But I was happy. At least I’m still marketable.

I went to the interview with no expectations at all. After all, I have never heard of the firm before. Furthermore, I am currently employed at a GLC and no doubt the pay isn’t as exciting, but the recent revised benefits are something that I should ponder on, if I decide to leave.

The establishment wasn’t that fantastic. I mean the office set-up. It looked pretty small and the reception area was very small. The posters hanging on the wall didn’t really entice me much. The firm was previously focused on IT-related services. So most of the information that can be seen were related to IT, networking, and others which are totally something that I am not in touch with. The fact that they made me wait for an hour and a half was another factor which made me decide upfront that I was so not interested in this firm. But since I had been called, I waited. It’d be interesting to see how I could contribute there, considering that I am not from the IT line.

Finally I was called in. The man who interviewed me was very good looking. In fact, I couldn’t help but stared at his face. He looked so fresh. Then I found out that if I were to join the firm, I would be reporting to him. Hhmm… interesting. He asked me to talk about myself. Then he went through my CV. He noticed that I was from PPP/ITM. He confessed that he also did his A-Levels there, before he went to the UK to do his degree. So, he is my super senior. Interesting.

He also talked about the job. I would not be doing any IT-related scope but more towards Strategy-related services and Policy making. The division works closely with government agencies and bodies, and provides innovative solutions to these entities in whichever capacity that leads to the betterment of these entities. They are involved in various industries and always work hand-in-hand with their clients. Of course if late night is required in order to finish a proposal, then everyone has to stay in and finish the work. There was a time whereby they worked through the night up till the next morning just to get a proposal out. I told them that I am ok to work late, but I have never worked until the next day. The minute he mentioned that, the first thing that cropped in my head is my kids, especially the breastfeeding one. Hhmm…

Because he had a meeting to attend to, I was only interviewed for about half an hour. After that, I left.

The weeks after that, I didn’t get a call back. I was alright with it. I wasn’t eager to leave the company that I am working for at the moment anyway, but if I do get an offer based on the salary figure that I put in the CV, then I may have to rethink the whole thing.

Exactly three weeks after the interview, I received a call. They want me. In fact, they are willing to let me have my bonus and whatever increment I’m supposed to get here before they make an offer. So that’s like another month. I am happy to know that they’re quite considerate on that. But now, it boils back to whether I want to accept it or not. And that is a very big question at the moment, because I do not know how to answer it. Should I go or should I not go.

I have asked the opinions of several friends. And most of them asked me to weigh the pros and cons, especially in terms of benefits and EPF contribution. I have to admit that the benefits I receive at the moment are very comforting. When I asked the firm on the sort of benefits that I may get, they weren’t very clear on that. So the next step is to know the details of the benefits I may get, and of course the salary structure. These two important things are quite crucial in determining whether I ought to accept the offer. They also asked me to use my intuition as there is already an answer there, except that I may have to dig it to find out. And of course, the non-financial aspects of it. Hhmm… very tough.

So now, I am still weighing it. It would have been much easier if my kids are all grown up. Then I can pretty much do anything. But my prime concern is the kids. I have never left them overnight. If I have a meeting outside (even in Singapore), I would ensure that I come back the same day. I’m not that worried about Marsya as she’s a big girl now (yeah I know she’s just three) but Raqib still breastfeeds and I can’t imagine leaving him not breastfed for even a single night. I remember a dear friend who encountered similar problems about 2 and a half years ago, and when she got back from outstation, her daughter merajuk with her. Hhmm.. difficult lah kan.

But I still have a month to go. The prospect of doing something entirely different is exciting. But staying here is comforting (which isn’t good, I suppose). Hhhmmm...

Just Sharing

A dear friend recently had her cyst removed. She discovered the cyst which was located in her ovary, about a month ago, and at that point in time, the doctor said it measured about 4 cm. She was depressed. She had a similar cyst removal operation about eight months ago. And she didn’t expect for another one to grow in such a very short notice. Having such operations were nothing new to her. The first surgery she had for such removal was when she was thirteen. And now, she is living only on one ovary. Including the recent surgery, she’s had five operations to remove cysts.

She just got married last December. Her ultimate goal in life is to get pregnant, as she so terrible wanted to hold a baby in her arms. So when she missed her period for about a couple of days, she did the test and found out that she was pregnant. She was happy. She looked forward to be pregnant. She knew that she had that cyst in her ovary, but she was hoping that the cyst would somehow reduce in size and disappear. But a few days after that, she had blood stains. And they continued to flow out bit by bit. She was worried, so she went to her doctor to see what she could do about saving the pregnancy. The doctor was surprised that she was pregnant. The doctor had wanted to sort out the cyst first, but now with a baby on the way, she couldn’t do anything.

The doctor gave her a week of medical leave and asked her to rest because the likelihood of her having a miscarriage is very high at this point of time. So she took leave. She stayed at home and took all reasonable steps to take care of this very early pregnancy. She sought advice on the sort of supplements to take and also proceeded on wanting to buy Anmum; anything to keep the baby growing in her healthy.

But on the Friday, she was having cramps in her tummy, like one of those period cramps. And later that day, she felt it. She went to check on herself and found that the amount of blood was a lot more than the normal stains she had been having. “This is not happening. It couldn’t be it”. She refused to seek doctor’s advice until her sister pestered her into doing so. So she went to the nearest clinic to see a regular doctor. The doctor scanned her stomach and informed her that her stomach was empty. There seemed to be nothing there. She couldn’t believe her ears. She repeatedly asked the doctor to check and scan again. The doctor did, and still the same anwer was given. She cried. Devastated by what the doctor said. But she had hope. She would go to her doctor, the specialist, the one she went to, to remove her cyst. She will get a second opinion.

Later that night, she met with her doctor. The doctor scanned her again. This time using the contraption that had to be inserted into the uterus, normally used in the very early pregnancy as the normal scanner would not be able to scan a newly-formed life. The truth pained her. The doctor confirmed that there was no baby. She had had a miscarriage and it was best that she undergo a D&C. To make matters worst, the doctor suggested that she undergo another operation to remove the cyst currently in her ovary. She was despaired. Distraught at the fact that she was no longer pregnant and the doctor’s suggestion for the operation did not help. It was just too overwhelming.

She couldn’t think. She was upset. She was sad. Her husband shared her sorrows. After numerous phone calls seeking advice from everyone she knew, on Saturday, she was wheeled into the operation theatre. The cyst was removed.

I received her text message telling me that she was sad on Sunday. I tried calling her, but her husband said she was asleep. She was on epidural so that the pain can be alleviated. So the following Monday, I went to the hospital to visit her. She looked alright. Not in pain or anything, thanks for the epidural which was constantly injected at the back of her spine. But she also looked very sad. She was upset that her stomach was now flatter, and she resented seeing another colleague of ours who was pregnant. The pregnant colleague also came to visit her. I didn’t say much. I wouldn’t want to give her headaches or anything. She received a lot of advices from those who came to visit. But I couldn’t make myself say much. I was just there so that I could give her emotional support. The loss was terrible for her. But when most of them had left, I talked to her, and told her to be patient and consider this as no luck and not rezeki. And that who knows, she might even be pregnant with twins. She looked dejected. And I didn’t know what else to say.

Before I left, I kissed her forehead and told her to get well. I told her not to think about getting pregnant. Allah works in mysterious ways and who knows what luck holds in for her.

She is still on medical leave. Her depression is now over and now she is concentrating on getting well. Let’s all pray for her well-being, ok.

Election Results

Just shocking. I didn’t expect that BN would loose like this. Five states lost to the opposition party is just simply something shocking. Even Dato’ Nik himself was surprised. This is definitely a wake-up call for BN. There must be something terribly wrong with the current government as this has never happened before. Not in this 50 years of independence. And if BN still doesn’t realize this (just like Samy Vellu still not letting go of his position as MIC President), then they are not fit to run the country. But, who else is fit to run the country? PAS? PKR? DAP? Unfortunately unlike BN, they’re not mature yet to take on such a huge responsibility like running the country. BUT, if they prove their worthiness of running the states that they’ve been entrusted to, and that means fulfilling all promises they’ve made prior to the elections, then by all means, they have the capabilities of leading the country.

Me? I have mixed feelings here. A little disappointed at the current scenario and also scared at what lies ahead, but I am also a little excited at the prospect of these new political changes and all possible benefits that lies ahead. Serves BN right for being the way it is, thus making the people loosing their confidence over the party, but can these opposition parties live up to their words? Only time will tell. Now that they have been given the chance, I hope they will seize the opportunity to prove that they can do it. Running the states or the country is not just about promises. You HAVE to deliver.

We will wait and see.

Another Sick Story

He finally admits raping daughter

06 March, 2008

KUALA LUMPUR: After four years of maintaining his innocence, a 43-year-old general worker finally cracked in court and pleaded guilty to sodomising and raping his daughter. At the Sessions Court yesterday, judge Akhtar Tahir sentenced the father of five to 15 years' jail and 15 strokes of the cane.The accused was charged with two counts of sodomising his then 13-year-old daughter in July 2003 and one count of incest on March 2, 2004.

His change of plea came after his defense was called at the end of the prosecution case which saw seven witnesses testify.In his mitigation, counsel V. Ravichandran said the accused was his family's sole supporter as his wife had left him when he was 33. He earned between RM700 and RM1,000 a month.

Deputy public prosecutor Othman Yusof objected to the mitigation and urged the court to impose the maximum sentence. The victim had complained to her school's discipline teacher after she was told by her older sister that she had seen their father rape her (the victim) in a bedroom of their house after giving her sleeping pills.Days before his arrest, the accused had waited until the victim was alone in the house before playing a pornographic movie and asked her to emulate the scenes. He proceeded to sodomise his daughter despite her pleas to stop.

The victim related the incident to her sister later that night and approached the school's counsellor the next day.Before sentencing, Akhtar said that the charges were serious. He ordered the sentence to be carried out concurrently from the date of arrest on March 4, 2004.

© Copyright 2008 The New Straits Times Press (M) Berhad. All rights reserved.


I read in NST online this morning and I was shocked at what I read. How sick is the father? He actually had the guts to rape his own flesh and blood. Not once, but twice. And to make it sicker, he gave her sleeping pills and raped her in the bedroom. And days before his arrest, he played some porno and asked his daughter to emulate the scenes while he sodomised her. He didn’t even stop at his daughter’s pleas. Imagine the tears, and the pain and the pleas asking her father to stop touching her with his dirty, overgrown thing..!! Such a f@#$%^g bastard..!!

I can NEVER tolerate this type of behaviour. I find whoever commits incest is mentally sick and shouldn’t be born in this world, in the first place. I mean, come on… she is your daughter for God’s sake. You took care of her when she was a baby. You played with her when she was a baby. You were there for her first words, her first steps, but the minute she blossomed into a young woman, the blood in your thing gets the better of your head and you concoct ways to rape her..!! Sick son of a B.

But are 15 years of jail and 15 strokes of cane enough to punish him for what he did? Imagine the trauma that his daughter has to go through. And she is still very young. She still has her own life ahead of her. But that life has been disturbed and we can never be sure whether she can recover from it. I think he deserves a heavier penalty for what he did. I shouldn’t want to propose anything here coz my proposals can be very demeaning to ANY man.

For all fathers out there, please oh please love your daughter. DO NOT even look at your daughter as if she’s a piece of pie that you can prod your manhood into whenever you feel like it, or whenever you feel that life is making you miserable and that your wife left you for goodness knows what. Please nurture your soul at all times and remember God. Please oh please be a God-fearing man and take very good care of your daughter.

Jumper

I saw the movie last night. It was alright. I love the notion of being able to teleport just anywhere though. In fact, I have been fantasizing of having such ability since I was in school. Imagine being able to jump from Rome to China, and then to London in a matter of seconds. And imagine the traffic jam that can be avoided if I can just teleport myself to work. How cool is that..??! Anyway, enough about teleporting for now. What I want to talk about is HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN.

I LOVE him in the Jumper. He was SO good-looking. Kind of cheeky, but in a good way. Yes I saw him in Star Wars as Anakin Skywalker, but I didn’t really like him. I mean, yes I like him (he had a good body in Star Wars III – Revenge of the Sith) but not as much as I like him as David Rice in the Jumper.

In the Jumper, he wore a long jacket. His hair was trimmed short so you can’t really see them as flowy and curly (I don’t like guys who have curly hair – remember JT during the N’Sync days?). And he looked more mature compared to his Anakin days. His body, though not as beautiful and beefed up as when he was Anakin in the third Star Wars, was rather heavy-built, and developed nicely into that of a man. I like it. His smiles, his laughs, his sadness, his seriousness and of course I fall in love with his eyes. His eyes are just like those when he was in Star Wars; piercing and very focused. I like them. I like him. I like Hayden. He looked good. I just want to hug him and be teleported anywhere in the world with him. Hehehe… OK, my dearest Bie is just going to have to bear with me for the next couple of days until my crush with Hayden is within my control. Just like when he had to endure my feelings for Neo (Keanu Reeves in The Matrix), Clark (Brendan Routh in Superman), Lincoln 2 Echo (Ewan McGregor in The Island), Will Turner (Orlando Bloom in Pirates) and many others. Hehehehe… what to do?

To me Hayden is a very talented actor. I saw him in Life As A House alongside Kevin Kline as his father and I thought he was very good. He was still very young then. But I think at that time, the second Star Wars episode was already out. Not too sure. Anyway, he played this troublesome teenager who was involved in drugs and some bad company. He in the end helped his father built a house. After Life As A House, I sort of have been on a lookout for him, coz I think he’s very good (but I haven’t seen Shattered Glass or Awake – hhmm.. will look up for the DVDs). He definitely has a chance of making it big in Hollywood. I really want to see him in other movies soon and I hope he looks just as good as David Rice.

Tired of Waiting

I actually have a paper to do, but am TOO lazy to do it. I have outlined the framework, but to put it on paper; with proper paragraphings and sentences just require TOO much thinking. And considering that it was already approaching 5.30pm, I just couldn’t make myself to start doing it. Oh well. It’ll have to be tomorrow, when I’m all fresh and everything.

I am waiting for my dearest Bie to pick me up from work. These days, he often comes late to pick me up. I know that sometimes when I have work to do, he had to wait in the car for me. There was one time; he had to wait for an hour for me. Thank goodness he was patient. Well, he did have some sarcastic remarks for me, but they were usually dropped after I got into the car with him.

Truthfully, I am getting tired of waiting. I know I have to be fair as he also waits for me sometimes. But these days, I rarely go back while the sun is still up. It’s all very tiring. Having just one car when you’re used to having two cars can cause a lot of headaches. I am happy that he’s picking me up. In fact I cherish our moments in the car together because that’ll be the times that we could usually talk without the interference of the kids, but it’s the waiting that is getting to me. Sometimes he has to meet people. And his discussions would end quite late. So I have to wait in the office for him. And by the time he arrived, all of my colleagues had already left. It can get quite creepy especially when there’s no one left at the office except for me. The office boy who usually locks the office would be elsewhere, lepak-ing at the stall somewhere drinking teh tarik.

Anyway, enough about this waiting issue. It’s just me… sharing my tiredness of waiting.

My kids are such a handful these days. Marsya is VERY tempremental. I can’t even reprimand her because she would curl up in a sitting position, put her head down with her arms entwining about her head and start wailing. Wailing to the point that I feel like smacking her. It is very challenging to the mind and the body, especially if you’ve had a tiring day. Her screaming always gets to me that sometimes I had to grit my teeth and refrain myself from hitting her. But when my patience is really challenged, I just smack her legs and leave her to cry for a good few minutes.

Like last night, she didn’t want to sleep with her Abi. She wanted to sleep with me. It was past 2am. Raqib was already asleep. I told her to sleep next to me on the bed but she started crying refusing to sleep on the bed. She wanted to sleep outside (in front of the TV) with me. Her being noisy woke her little brother up, who is a VERY light sleeper by the way. He started crying. So I have two kids wailing at the top of their lungs at 2am in the morning. I ignored her and quickly tend to my baby. He just wanted to be breastfed (that always does the trick as he will quickly fall asleep after that). My dearest Bie had to take Marsya outside in his attempt to make her sleep. But it was pointless. Later, when Bie wanted to put her in her crib, she refused to sleep there. Instead, she wanted to sleep next to me, on the bed. So there we were. All four sleeping on the queen-sized bed.

But my kids are still my kids. Even how irritated I am with them, I enjoy their company very much. Their smiles and antics are always the first things that are on my mind whenever I feel stressed with life and work. Oh well. That’s life for you.

Here I’d like to share some memorable pictures of them.

Umi loves you both VERY MUCH. Mmuuahhhss..!!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I am on leave tomorrow. Reason being, I have arranged to have a day out with the Gurls. It’s like going to work expect that I won’t be at work. Instead I’ll be at the Mid Valley or The Garden the whole day, hanging out with them, catch a movie and have long lunches. Truthfully, I can’t wait to meet them. I think I haven’t met them in ages. Yes I did see them (well, some of them only) during my brother’s wedding, but we didn’t get to hang out much because I was basically busy entertaining guests and running here and there. And that was only Pah, Yamm, Zha and Min. The others couldn’t make it. Prior to that, I think the last time I saw them was in PD. Hhmm… I think that was months ago. So yes, I am looking forward to see them. We’ve been planning this for more than a month now. The only not-nice thing is that not ALL can make it. So end up, there’ll only be four of us tomorrow. Oh well.

We plan to call it a day at about 5.30pm because we were adamant to make it like as if we went to work (even though we didn’t). But my day doesn’t end there. I have also made other plans to meet my homies at a karaoke centre in Ampang where we will be singing our hearts out in view of the recent Anugerah Juara Lagu. My homies are my girlfriends at work. All are younger than me (I know..!!) and only one of them are still single. But out of the four, only one of us has kids and that would be ME. I am a little excited. I have already booked a medium room and plan to buy a bucket of KFC to enjoy while singing. We can bring food to this karaoke centre so of course I’m going to ensure that food will be there. So yes, I can’t wait for that as well.

But my fun doesn’t stop there. The next day, a bunch of my Seremban friends are coming over to the house for brunch. This was also something that was planned for quite a while. We haven’t met up with one another for AGES. I think the last time we met was during raya last year. So yes, I am also looking forward to meet up with them. Lin is bringing nasi goreng, whereas Elly is going to bring daging masak assam pedas and caramel. I can’t wait for that. As for me, I don’t know what to cook yet. Elly suggested I prepare some fried vegetables and eggs or fried chicken. Hhmm… I don’t know. We’ll see.

The next day, which is a Saturday, I received an invitation from a former colleague to go to her house for her son’s birthday party. And since she is such a dear friend, I will definitely go to her house. Besides, I think I am the only one who hasn’t gone to her house yet. She also invited a few of our other friends whom we fondly refer to as the Gang of Six.

So yes, I am looking forward to the days ahead. I know I am married and all, and have two kids, but that doesn’t stop me from having fun. I feel that fun should not be restricted just because you have kids. You should have time for yourself and of course with the kids. That somehow makes me sane. That was one of the reasons why I suggested taking leave to have a day out with the Gurls. So at least my weekend will solely be for the kids. After all, weekends are the only time that I could get to spend some quality time with the kids.

So for all women out there, married with kids especially, MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF. After a hard day’s work, it doesn’t hurt to splash a few RM and time just to pamper yourself.

Let’s have fun..!!

The Wedding In Seremban

I had wanted to update what went on during the wedding at my parent’s house, but I never seemed to find the time to draft it. Besides, I needed the right mood to capture the event.

The wedding at our side I must say was superb (I’m biased.. I know). The pelamin was beautiful than the one at the bride’s house, and the guests were many. My brother and his wife were also beautiful. The clothes which were songket were beautiful, and the bride’s make-up was also beautiful (compared to the bride’s house). As Ayah has many friends, his guests include various VIPs (whom I didn’t recognize at all, so how was I supposed to know they were Tan Sris or Datuks – one Datuk complained that she didn’t get the bunga telur and ‘door gift’) as well as the old and current MB.

It was tiring. Imagine that we didn’t finish with the ‘door-gift’ for the guests even on the actual wedding day itself. So that morning, we had to quickly finish off the bunga telur so that we could distribute to all guests that came.

I wasn’t even dressed (or bathed for that matter) until it was nearly 12pm. After that, it was just rushing here and there. As my parents had to greet the guests whereas my brothers and husband were usherers, I had to act like the event-coordinator. So I was running here and there, making sure that certain things are done and/or given to the appropriate persons. I pity my little one as I couldn’t entertain him as much. Luckily there were many volunteers from my relatives to hold him and feed him. I stopped once in a while to breastfeed him, but other than that, I could be found in the kitchen, underneath the tent and inside the newly-weds room.

The entourage from my brother’s wife’s side came a bit late. In fact later than as programmed in the invitation card. They wanted to perform their Zohor prayers first and I could perfectly understand that. When they arrived, I was among the first to greet them and invited them to the house near the pelamin for the tepung tawar event. All of them sat in front of the pelamin. The emcee for the day did his job. He called the bride’s parents first to do the tepung tawar followed by her other close relatives. The last couple to tepung tawar was of course my parents. Then we invited them for lunch. We in fact reserved a few tables for their side so that when they came, foods were already guaranteed for them. The parents and other close members of the bride’s family sat at the newly-weds’ table. I have to admit that our caterer did a really good job. She made sure that the serving of the food for them was tip-top; so no room for complaint there.

The foods were good. I especially liked the beef rendang. For someone who doesn’t take beef, I sure ate the beef rendang a lot. Others were the normal chicken korma, dalca, etc. Ayah also had his famous Teh Tarik Corner with cendol and other kuih-muih (from crispy delicacies to sweet kuih kuaci). And there was also ice-cream. I had a tub, but before I could finish it, I was called to meet my parents’ guests. When I returned to the table to retrieve my ice-cream, it was already gone. Those boys sure were efficient in collecting dirty plates and cups including my half-eaten tub of ice-cream.

I think I only sat down to rest at about 5pm. There were still guests about, but since my parents were there to entertain them, I just let them be. I was just tired. We wanted to sing (there was karaoke there), but we were too shy because there were still plenty of guests around. So, we didn’t sing anything. As for me, I just sat there and played with my baby.

As usual, that night, Ayah invited his close friends and neighbours to the house. There is this informal ritual that Ayah likes to perform after the wedding reception during the day. It all began from my wedding five years ago. Well basically, that night, we had another event at the house. Lucky draws (Ayah managed to get about 8 to 10 hampers and several small gifts), birthday cake-cutting (collectively celebrated as there were many of us who were born in January including my daughter Marsya and Ibu) and performances by ‘professional’ performers like my dearest Bie, my brother, his friends and my Maksu (karaoke went on till midnight).

It was fun. We sang, we ate and drank more teh tarik. Bie and I also performed a duet together. We sang ‘Doa Buat Kekasih’ originally performed by Ramli Sarip and Khatijah Ibrahim. And for those who know me upfront, my performance was somewhat fun. Well, I danced while singing (more like swaying my body to the left and right) and held on to Bie’s arm as a show of affection. My new sis-in-law thought my voice was good. Hehehe… kembanglah aku. I thought it was cute.

All and all, the event ended at midnight. By that time, I was already in the room, trying to make Raqib go to sleep. Marsya was just too excited playing with her little aunts whereas Bie and my other brothers were hanging out with their friends while drinking teh tarik. The neighbours had long left. The house wasn’t so much of a mess because most of the event was held outside, on the porch. Luckily we used caterers instead of cooking the food ourselves. But the kitchen and dining area was a bit of a mess. By that time, I didn’t bother much. All I know was that I wanted to go to sleep.

I was pleased. The wedding went smoothly. Even if there were hiccups here and there, they weren’t noticeable. So it was alright. So yeah, the next wedding will perhaps take place in another five years time (by the looks of it since my youngest brother had already introduced his girlfriend to the whole family.. imagine his boldness), but still a long way to go.

Tagged: Pic In My Wallet / Purse / Handbag

I have been tagged by a dear friend (who else but Pah) to share with her (and the rest of the world too) of a picture that I may keep in my wallet, purse or handbag (collectively defined as “Purse”). The tag is basically another way to know the personality and/or character of a person just by the picture(s) that he or she has in her Purse.

Before I began to answer to the tag, I opened up my Purse hoping to find a picture or something that somehow defines me. There was that little part of me who was confident that I have a picture of my family and/or the kids tucked somewhere in my Purse. Imagine my disappointment to discover that I don’t. I do not have a picture of my loved ones in my Purse.

Come to think of it, I have never been a person who keeps pictures in her Purse. Yes I have a picture of Bie in it. But that’s only because it was imprinted on our kad kawin (as proof that we’re married in case we get caught spending the nights at a hotel somewhere; particulary useful when you don’t have ‘excess baggage’ in your arms – kids lah. But now that I have my two wonderful kids with me, the card no longer serves much purpose, I think, well maybe useful in circumstances which I can’t think of at the moment). Other than that, I have a lot of rubbish in my Purse. Receipts, statements, business cards, Jusco member card, IC, driving license, ING Insurance cards, etc, etc. But NO family picture.

Before I start using this pink Purse, in my old Purse, I used to keep a picture of my friends in Newcastle. It was one of the Raya gatherings at Boo’s house (Yamm, for the life of me, I can’t remember her real name). All my Gurl friends were there. Then there was that handsome Mamak guy (I can’t remember his name) who likes Prada bags and was always into designer clothes, bags and shoes. And also that rich Bangladeshi fellow; remember Pah he used to be our course-mate. And also that cute pony-tailed Indonesian fellow who now I think looks like Dato’ Fadzilah Kamsah. I particularly like that picture. Everyone was grinning happily. I think it still is in my old Purse. I haven’t transferred it into my new Purse. But then, I think it should just stay there. New Purse means new pictures.

So yes, I will be looking through cute family pictures and putting it in my Purse soon. Perhaps the one taken during my brother’s wedding. There was this very cute picture of four of us on the pelamin. My aunties were being cheeky saying that I was dreaming of being newly-weds when for the fact was, we had excess baggage (my kids lah) in our arms. I didn’t mind. I think it’s the best picture ever. I will load it up soon when I have access to it.

Do mobile phones count? I’ve got pictures of my kids there. But I don’t think I’ve got pictures of Bie. Hhmm… I wonder what that means.

Skeptical I May Be

It is nearly a year since Bie left his job to start doing on his own. I was heavily pregnant with Raqib at that time and was very worried that he was going to stop working the 9am to 5pm job and start on his own. He was worried as well. He was stressed. He had stubbles in his face and he rarely laughed or smiled. He was always thinking. Whenever I saw him, his face was always one of that who was thinking deep; probably thinking of what was to come if he had no fixed income. Or probably thinking whether he could make it on his own. I was very worried. We needed the money. I was in my final trimester. We needed money for the delivery, not to mention the monthly house instalment which reached to about RM1,200 each month. My salary isn’t very big. Yes I could cover groceries and other bills, but to pay the extra RM1,200 each month was something that really bugged me. But Bie went ahead and tendered his resignation. Of course he was sick before he tendered. He had the fever and was always having headaches. The fear of not getting a fixed income was getting to him, I guess.

But Allah is mighty great. About a month after he left his job, I received my bonus. I also managed to liquidate a few stocks so that I could have the cash to cover the whole family’s expenses. As for my maternity, because of the hemmorhoid operation post-delivery, my ING was able to cover the cost of my staying at the hospital and of course the operation. I was lucky there. So we managed. Cut a bit of stuff here and there, and we managed to sustain the cashflow – Alhamdulillah. Yes we couldn’t spend lavishly as we had wanted to, but we somehow managed. If I felt like eating out at fancy places, there’re always the credit cards. I just have to make sure that I don’t miss my monthly credit card payments.

During the course of Bie’s non-fixed employment, he was always running here and there, trying to secure jobs or find small time contractors to help him in doing jobs. Out of all the so-called jobs that his company was supposed to do, I only saw ONE job that gave us some returns. One very small job involving beautifying the kawasan kubur of Mont Kiara. Others gave him nothing. He received many various (possible) jobs but there are always the issues of trying to secure them, and of course mobilization fund, or what Bie usually refers to, “duit minyak”. With no mobilization fund upfront, how are you going to take up the job and do it? His partner was waiting for some funds from out of the country whereby upon the drawdown of these funds, a percentage of it will be disbursed to Bie’s company. But that talk has been around for ages, and till now, the funds are not really showing any positive signs. Luckily throughout this whole thing, we somehow managed.

So when he brought to my attention yesterday that he got a job from EPU, doing some project in Kedah, I was a bit skeptical. He was very enthusiastic though. He had wanted to let me in on it for quite a while, but he wanted to surprise me. So he was keeping quiet about it and didn’t say a word to me about this particular project.

He showed me the letter that the Kedah’s state official bestowed on his company, and that the next step was to meet the MB to get his blessings. I remained calm. In fact, nothing went in my head. I kept on thinking whether it was real or not, and whether this was just another one of his huge potential projects that up till now, none has materialized. I have become very skeptical. I wanted to be happy for him. I do. But I could not run away from the skepticism. It’s like the Jerry McGuire movie when Cuba Gooding Jr’s character asked Tom Cruise to repeat after him, “SHOW ME THE MONEY”. No money, how can one possibly be productive?

He looked at me, wanting a positive reaction. But I couldn’t. I just sat there and stared into space. How can I be enthusiastic for him when I am not able to see anything? A letter from some big hot shots meant nothing until money starts flowing in. When that happens, then can I smile, hug him and whisper words of congratulation. But right now, right at this moment, my level of enthusiasm is not at par with his so how can I possibly fake it and be happy about it.

Don’t get me wrong, however. I am happy that now he finally has something to look forward to. So he’s not reaching out for empty promises anymore. He’s going to be pretty busy for the next two weeks wanting to lay down the structure and how to go on about this. Just last night, he had a long meeting with his two other partners and two associates.

I really hope that this works. I pity seeing him running here and there. Besides, I need a break myself. I just need to rest mentally and physically. I haven’t been able to do that in a long time.

I pray for Bie’s success and hope that this time round, this new project that he’s working on will materialize soon.

Happy Birthday Marsya

(Thanks Pah.. I love the card)

Today is Marsya Hazirah’s birthday. She is three years old. I can’t believe how time flies. She was just a baby when I first laid eyes on her; a small baby all wrapped up in the hospital’s baby napkin with eyes closed, sleeping. And now, look at her. She’s all grown up.

Marsya likes to call herself Kak Long. I don’t know where she gets it from. I guess friends at Maksu’s place keep on calling her that, so the name Kak Long just sort of stick with her. She is still wearing the diapers (I am trying to teach her to not wear it, but it can be very testing), and still asks for her susu-milo (little does she know I opt for Sustagen, the chocolate flavour to replace the milo).

She can be VERY verbal these days. It’s actually tiring and fun at the same time whenever I have to converse with her. It’s always, “Tak nak kawan dengan Umi”, or “Kak Long nak gi swimming”, or “Umi, tengok Abi”, or “Kak Long nak tinggal dengan Uwan” (when she doesn’t want to come back with me but want to stay with Maksu), or “Umi, Laqib sepak Kak Long”, or “Umi tak marah Kak Long kan” or “Kakak nak ikut”, or “Laqib ada siput, Kak Long ada sunflower” or “Umi, Abi cakap bodoh. Tak baik kan, nanti Allah jentik telinga” and the list goes on and on. Fun? YES… adorably fun. The things that come out from her mouth these days can be something which is out of the ordinary. And I look forward to hear what she has to say.

Well, that’s my daughter for you. I love her a lot and I pray the best for her always.

UMI LOVES YOU MARSYA HAZIRAH. Take care darling...

My Brother Is A Married Man

Last Thursday, we had a small kenduri doa selamat at my parents’ house in conjunction with my brother’s wedding the following day. Bie and I (after much persistence from Ayah) decided to also do a cukur jambul event for Raqib on that, capitalizing on the kenduri for my brother. The fact that the kenduri happened to fall on our 5th wedding anniversary, I also took the opportunity for the doa recitals to be ‘donated’ for the happiness of our marriage.

The next morning, everyone was bustling in the house, getting ready to leave for Pahang. My brother reserved a few rooms at a local resthouse and Ayah wanted to leave early so that we would have ample time to get ready in time for the akad nikah session after Maghrib. There were a lot of rushing here and there, but finally we got everyone ready and left my parents’ house at about 1pm. There were about 5 cars from Seremban. A few more cars met us half way on the way to Pahang.

We reached the resthouse at about 4pm. The hantaran were placed in my parents’ room so that they could be given last minute touch up. My daughter had forgotten about me, thanks to my little cousins. Marsya had so many aunts looking out for her that she didn’t want to bother herself with me. Raqib on the other hand, didn’t want to let me out of his sight. At about 6pm, everyone was busy getting ready. I had to look for Marsya and carry her to the bathroom to bathe her.

At about 7.45pm, everyone was already downstairs at the parking lot waiting for the groom. My brother walked down the stairs. He looked so dashing in his cream baju melayu which was embroidered at the neck and the sleeves, with a cream sampin and a songkok on his head. Suddenly I felt emotional. I had tears in my eyes when I saw him. Though he looked nervous, he was happy. Flashes of chubby face and him wearing my dress when we were small cropped up in my head. I turned my head away and focused on holding the heavy cake.

We reached the bride’s house at about 8pm. Unfortunately the Tok Imam was not there yet. He wanted to perform his solat Isyak first. So we waited at the house. My brother looked very nervous. I could see it in his face. Once in a while he would smile, when the Tok Ketua Kampung jested with him. Others around him may see him as very calm. But I know him. He was a nervous wreck. But he recited a few zikir to calm himself down. I could see that too. When the Tok Imam finally arrived, everyone smiled with anticipation knowing what was to come.

My brother seated himself opposite the Tok Imam. He had a glass of water and waited patiently. My dearest Bie sat next to him. Giving him comfort in view of what was to come. A few messages and advices were exchanged especially the recital of the khutbah nikah, not to mention the practice session (for the akad to take place) and soon after, the actual akad nikah occurred.

The Tok Imam held out his hand and called my brother’s name. My brother accepted the hand.

“Aku nikahkan dikau dengan… tunai”.

“Aku terima nikahnya…. tunai”. The witnesses nodded their heads indicating that it was sah. And that was it. My brother was a married man. He took a glass of water to take a sip and his hands where shaking. The rest was history.

Ibu introduced her new daughter-in-law to our relatives. We exchanged hugs and kisses, while the new husband and wife took some photos at the hantaran. Then we were ushered to have our dinner.

I was so hungry because I only had mee curry during the day at the rest area before we arrived Pahang. But unfortunately there was only a little rice left. Even the lauk was not replenished. So there were not many foods to eat. The men had food (but very little, mind you somehow the dishes weren’t replenished) but the women didn’t. So we loitered around waiting for the food. We would expect that the host would attend to us immediately, but imagine our horror when no one came to ask our well-being. Some of my aunties were already upset. One of them started to complain rather loud. Ibu kept quiet and did not say a word. There were plans to leave the function and eat at nearby restaurants. I don’t know how long we waited, but no one came to us to say anything. I was mad. But I kept cool. My aunts were making noises. The father of the bride approached Ibu and asked whether we have eaten to which one of my aunts said, “Macamana nak makan. Nasi tak ada” roughly translated, “What to eat when there’s no rice”. The father was slightly embarrassed and immediately went to the back area of the house.

We waited again. I don’t really know how long we waited, but I felt that it was eternity. Finally the rice came. The lauk were also replenished. The host even fried some eggs for us. One of the hosts (I think it’s the bride’s sister-in-law) apologized for the delay and ushered us to have our dinner. So finally we ate. Luckily the lauk was good. But by that time, I was having stomach ache. So I couldn’t really enjoy the lauk. But get this, the mother didn’t even come out to check on us. In fact, she even changed into her kaftan while we were still around.

After that, we took pictures with the new couple, had coffee and headed back to the resthouse. It was past 11.30pm. I pity my brother though. He didn’t eat anything until it was after 12am after all the photo-taking was over. I mean, not to compare or anything, but when I got married last time, right after the akad nikah where all the guests were invited for dinner, my side (the host at that time) prepared food for us (Bie and I) to eat because they knew that the night was still long and they wouldn’t want us to go hungry.

The next day was the actual reception. At about noon, we headed towards the bride’s house. We were asked to wait at a house opposite the bride’s while the new couple got ready. Then we walked around the block to walk with the groom for the groom to meet his bride. This time around, I didn’t wait around. I immediately went to eat. At first I waited with Ibu at the bride’s house. But no one seemed to be saying anything to us. The new couple was being rejoiced and tepung tawar by the guests, but NO ONE called my parents; the groom’s parents to tepung tawar. So we waited and waited. I was mad. So I went out of the house and walked towards the tent. I was hungry and I wanted to eat.

While I was eating, the Mak Andam looked for me and told me to eat at the special table with the bride and the groom. But I was in the middle of eating already. I couldn’t possibly leave my food and eat at another table. So I finished my food and thereafter walked to the special table. My parents were eating. So were some of my other aunts. Ayah insisted that I joined them even though I had eaten. So I sat at the table and ate (again… I know..), but I didn’t take rice. I ate fried prawns, pekedil (very nice) and some desserts. It was alright.

After that, we took pictures. I understand later that they did call my parents for the tepung tawar, but it was after all the bride’s side have done theirs. And it wasn’t even the host that called upon my parents to do that, it was the Mak Andam.

We left at about 3pm. It was hot and everyone was tired. We bid farewell to the host. Mind you that the mother didn’t even bid us farewell. Ibu had to seek her out to say goodbye. It’s like as if she is only into my brother, but not the whole family. I don’t know. That could just be my feeling and I might be wrong. Oh well…

So the next reception will be at my parents’ in Seremban. I hope it’ll be a smooth-sailing event. After what happened in Pahang, I know that Ayah will take EXTRA care to entertain his future besan. After all, we have to learn to respect our guests, right.

Meanwhile, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE..!!

The Wedding Is Finally Here

My brother is finally getting hitched this Friday. The akad nikah will be carried out at the house of the parents’ bride in Pahang. My brother has already reserved some rooms at a nearby resthouse. I think he booked about eight rooms.

Come to think of it, I think he has spent a lot for this wedding. Note that he has been paying for everything, from the mak andam (which I think should be paid by the bride’s side, I mean it’s only natural… but, hhmm.. I don’t know what the agreement was between him and the fiancée) to the room in which the mak andam will stay. I pity him. After all the fiancée just started working, so I don’t think she would have a lot of savings to cater for her wedding, unless her parents helped out. So I guess in the event that my brother has to fork out first, I’m sure that’s just what he did. Oh well, he’s a big boy now. He should know how to manage his finances.

I have always thought that the wedding is still a long way a way. But last Monday, I woke up feeling a little nervous. The akad nikah is THIS Friday..!! Time sure flies fast when you don’t realize it. I immediately called him up relaying my nervousness and concerns. Surprisingly, he sounded quite relaxed. Despite the unfortunate events that went on during the preparation of his wedding (the fiancée’s nikah dress couldn’t be ready on time, was among them, thanks to the stupid sister of the mak andam who promised to deliver the dress tip-top, but because she had a fall out with her mak andam sister, she’s been badmouthing the sister behind her back and asking my brother’s fiancée to look for another mak andam at about three weeks before the wedding..!! How STUPID was that. I blame the stupid, irritating and menyusahkan supposedly tailor-sister). So yeah, we’re having this wedding and by the end of this year, I am going to have a sister-in-law.

I’m supposed to help out wherever I can, but somehow I don’t know why I feel so lazy to go back home. I pity my brother for having to face these difficulties alone. I guess I’m supposed to share the difficulties with him, but my mind is just so tired. So rather than face the difficulties and entertain them, I sought to ignore them completely and went about my family affairs which involve manning two very lasak kids and a husband. One would think that I would be completely busy at this point in time, well truthfully, I’m not. What needs to be done has already been done (well for my part at least) so I figure why should I interfere with the wedding preparation. My Acik is supervising the whole thing, and of course my parents too. Ayah keep on calling me now and then to ask this and ask that, but I just close my eyes, reply his every query, say goodbye and went back on to doing my chores. It’s terrible isn’t it? Oh well, I guess when the actual wedding happen, then I’ll know. And that’s just around the corner.

Please don’t get me wrong. I look forward to the wedding, I do. I can’t wait to have a sister-in-law (I do you know, even though I opposed to it earlier), but… I don’t know. All these preparations and whatever nonsenses that goes with them, thinking about them just make me feel very tired. I just hope that the wedding goes smoothly and that there’ll be no hiccups. I truly hope so.

I am also taking this opportunity to invite friends (who happen to frequent the blog or just visiting) to come to the wedding reception. Our side will be held on 5 January 2008 in Seremban. Please leave a message if you’re interested and I’ll email the invitation card.

Another Tag

I saw this tag on Ryzah’s blog and immediately I wanted to participate in it. I don’t know why. I guess it’d be fun. So here goes…

1. Name of a person who made you laugh last night
   Marsya Hazirah, my daughter. I was having a conversation with Bie and yeah, our voices were a little over the normal pitch and suddenly Marsya said, “Janganlah gaduh Umi… Abi”. I couldn’t help myself. I laughed.
   
   
2. What were you doing at 0800?
   I was in the car heading for work.
   
   
3. What were you doing 30mnts ago?
   Calling my dearest Bie and asking him when he was going to pick me up.
   
   
4. What happened to you in 2006?
   Hmm… well, I got pregnant with Raqib in the second half of 2006.
   
   
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
   “TIPU..!!” to a colleague of mine who said that the company is providing transportation straight to the house if we’re to attend this particular function in Johor. The event in Johor is to end at about 10pm.
   
   
6. How many beverages did you have today?
   Well, I had a small glass of Nescafe in the morning and about 3 litres of plain water (to get rid of the Nescafe traces…)
   
   
7. What colour is your hairbrush?
   Grey. It seemed the only colour I would buy. I don’t know why.
   
   
8. What was the last thing you paid for?
   Cekodok pisang and keropok lekor after lunch today. I just felt like nibbling hot fried stuff. Fatty, yes.. but I want to, so I bought them.
   
   
9. Where were you last night?
   I was at the Mid Valley collecting the shoes I sent for repair. And after that I had dinner at Carl’s Junior. The burgers are really good (and big). I recommend you all to go and eat there. The combo meal costs between a range of RM18 to RM25 each (food yet again… I can’t get anough of my food).
   
   
10. What colour is your front door?
    Cream.
    
    
11. Where do you keep your change?
    In my purse where all other useless receipts are also kept.
    
    
12. What's the weather like today?
    Well, it was a bit gloomy during lunch. And they say that it rained in the afternoon. I don’t know. I didn’t look outside.
    
    
13. What's the best ice-cream flavour?
    My favourite has always been chocolate mint, but that flavour is rarely in the market these days.
    
    
14. What excites you?
    Good food with lots of variety.
    
    
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
    Not just as yet. It’s still short from the last haircut I had.
    
    
16. Are you over the age of 25?
    Hhmm… need I answer this?
    
    
17. Do you talk a lot?
    (Grinning from ear to ear)… I don’t know. Do I?
    
    
18. Do you watch the O.C?
    Never..!! I don’t know why, but I cannot stand it. Too unreal.
    
    
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
    Yes I do.
    
    
20. Do you make up your own words?
    Used to. Especially when I don’t really know what the words are, so I just ‘bantai lah’ as long as it sounds about the same..!!
    
    
21. Are you a jealous person?
    Hhmm… not that excessively. So far I haven’t been jealous of Bie with other women (except for that one time when I found a picture of a woman in his PC – a stupid misunderstanding), but other than that, belum lagi kot. BUT I do get envious of people’s success. I can’t help it.
    
    
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'
    Ahmad
    
    
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'
    Kak Long (but we haven’t been in touch for years. Maybe I should start calling her).
    
    
24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
    My dearest Bie.
    
    
25. What does the last text message you received say?
    ;-P … which I received from Bie.
    
    
26. Do you chew on your straw?
    Constantly. I don’t know why. It’s a habit I guess.
    
    
27. Do you have curly hair?
    Uunfortunately (or is it fortunately), no. I have straight hair. VERY straight hair.
    
    
28. Where's the next place you're going to?
    Some place nice for dinner.
    
    
29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
    Can’t think of anyone at the moment, but will definitely get back to this when I do remember.
    
    
30. What was the last thing you ate?
    Keropok lekor.
    
    
31. Will you get married in the future?
    Already married.
    
    
32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
    Hhhmm… it has to be The Sound of Music and The Green Mile.
    
    
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
    Well, just my husband and two kids. I love them actually, to the max..!!
    
    
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
    Last night at home.
    
    
35. Are you currently depressed?
    Don’t think so.
    
    
36. Did you cry today?
    Nope. I did though when I saw The Green Mile last night.
    
    
37. Why did you answer and post this?
    I find it fun. In fact, I begged Ryzah to tag me. Hehehehehe…
    
    
38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey.
    Let me see:
    Pah
    Yamm
    Zha
    Murni
    Pisces Man

My Kids

Raqib now is very lasak. He is six months now but looks much older than that. Well, not THAT old. But he is very cheeky for a six month old baby. He doesn’t like to lie on his back. In fact, he RARELY lies on his back. He has acquired the act of ‘slithering’ around. And very fast too I might add. He would lift his body up if he needs to turn around, and he is always sliding towards me wanting me to pick him up. Well, he just can’t seem to see my face. Whenever he sees me, he would get excited and start crying for me. After all, he sees me as his personal walking milk bottle.

I have started to feed him (bless those Nestle Stage 1 food, the one with lots of interesting flavour) and he likes it very much. Of course he likes to play with his food too. So I have to be extra careful when feeding coz I wouldn’t want to be ‘decorated’ with bits and pieces of his foods whenever he does the food-blowing act. He is also good in the walker. When we first put him in the walker, he couldn’t move. He stayed at one place for quite a while until his older sister started pushing him around. But now, gosh, he is so fast. He would move from one end of the room to the other. And to make matters worse, he has also fallen from the walker. He was moving quite fast and the walker got caught at the corner of a carpet. And the walker kind a just topple to the front. I wasn’t there when it happened coz the incident took place at Maksu’s house. Maksu was shocked and she screamed at the top of her lungs. The sight of blood on his nose wasn’t helping much either. Fortunately it was from a scratch. Not some internal nose bleeding kind of thing. But still..!! Kasihan Raqib. The side of his little nose is now temporarily scarred. I hope it will heal in the next couple of days.

That night, another incident took place. He fell from the bed while silly me (who ‘cleverly’ enough didn’t put lots of pillows to prevent him from falling, or put a thick mattress on the floor) was busy showering. He was asleep and I thought I’d just shower for a while. There was a bump at the back of his head. I was really panicky. It was his second fall which evidently left him a little hurt (he wasn’t hurt from the first bed fall). That really reminded me that Raqib should NOT, at ALL cost, be left on the bed alone. Silly me for not taking it seriously.

Marsya is also very mengada-ngada these days. Her vocabularies are quite a lot. If she doesn’t know some of the words, she will show us a picture of it and act it out. Quite funny really. She loves her brother very much, but there are times when she just enjoys giving me difficult times, especially when she sees that Raqib is wailing at the top of his lungs, but I had to sort out a few things for her first before I could attend to Raqib. Usually it’s when she tells me that she just pooh-pooh and needs a change, or that she wants milk. Things like that. And she would take her own sweet time, savouring with pleasure at every minute that Raqib is screaming; all in all giving me quite a terrible headache. On one hand, I enjoy every minute I have with her, but on the other hand, when her tantrums set in, oh gosh… I feel like pinching her all over the place. Oh well… they’re my kids. You love them, and no matter how hard they scream, shout and cry, you will always continue to love them.

My company’s organizing a treasure hunt tomorrow. Marsya will be going back to Taiping with Maksu (Maksu had wanted to bring her back for quite some time now) and Raqib will be taken care by Bie. Hhmm… I don’t know how Bie is going to handle it, but I really hope that he can. This is after all the first time that Bie will handle Raqib alone. This will include his feeding, his bathing and his pooh-poohing. My dearest Bie will have to do all that by himself. I am actually a little worried. But I have to have faith in Bie. I believe that he can do it. And if he’s good at it, this may be a precedent. Well, just pray for him ok.

Everyone’s Pillar

Lately, my mind is a bit muddled. There are just so many things to think about and do, but so little time to actually do it. So many stuffs have been happening lately. My brother is getting married end of this month. His wedding preparation is still ongoing and I have Acik to thank that for. Outstanding matters include lucky draw hampers (yeah, Ayah wants to draw out presents for those who have been helping out), bunga telur, bunga manggar, barang hantaran, curtains and decorations in the bilik pengantin and pelamin. The cameraman has already been booked, but we don’t have a video cameraman. My brother’s friend is offering to help out. Well, at least we can save a bit on that. Being me of course, I will personally ensure that the relevant people are interviewed. The wedding invitation cards are ready in the nick of time. And my brother should be sending them out this week. Hopefully. Even that, my brother spotted a last minute error on the card. But because it was negligible, he’s prepared to close one eye to it. So yeah, it’s a bit chaotic these days. After all, we only have about a month left.

Apart from this wedding preparation, my mind is also tired thinking of other things. Delicate things if not sorted may lead to problems later. Frankly, I don’t know how to deal with it. I think I’m doing the right thing, and so does everybody else, but by the end of the day, what I am doing is seen as a terrible thing and should be stopped at once. Was it that bad? I am doing this after all for love. Is it wrong? These days, I just don’t know whether I am in the right or in the wrong. I pray to Allah to give me the courage to go on. So far, it’s been alright. But sometimes, the toll of it is just overwhelming that I felt like letting go and not bother about it anymore. What’s the point of reaching out to someone if he doesn’t want to be rescued? It’s tiring to think about it. It actually gives me headache. But if I don’t do something about it, goodness knows what will happen. The stronger ones will always override the weaker ones.

I sometimes see myself as the strongest of the lot. But even my strength has its limit. I can’t forever be everyone’s pillar. Not to mention that I have kids who are counting on me. They look up to me for support, love and strength. And Raqib, well… he sees me as a walking milk bottle. Always snuggling and reaching for you know what, whenever he has the chance. I am their pillar. But now, I have to be everyone’s pillar. At first it was alright, but these days, I think the pillar is going to crack and fall to the ground. Seems like an interesting notion but rationally speaking, it is not something that I would like. If the pillar falls, goodness, I’d hate to imagine the consequences. But then again, maybe I should just let the pillar crumble to the ground. Then they wouldn’t look up for me as their pillar anymore, then I would be free… [sigh]… it’s so confusing and tiring.

What do I do? Do I just ignore? I think there’s a clear sign of distress here, but like I said, if the person in distress does not want to be rescued, why should I take the trouble of rescuing? Ignore is probably the best thing. In the interim. Though how difficult it is to do so, I will just have to learn to ignore. Concentrate on other things that matter. Maybe I should do that. They say that ignorance is bliss, but in my case, I just don’t know. The act of ignoring may seem rather selfish at the moment. But to save my mind from being dragged down further to goodness knows where, it may just be the right thing to do.

No Lift

I came to the office this morning in a nice mood. Looking forward to start work. Imagine my horror when I entered the lift lobby, there were many people there. I thought because there was only one lift functioning. Boy, was I wrong. Apparently, ALL lifts weren’t functioning because there was no electricity. I was a little stunned. I couldn’t possibly walk all the way to the 18th floor. Besides, because of no electricity, I couldn’t even enter the office. So I resorted to level 1 for breakfast. A few of my friends were already there, so we hung out for a while.

About 20 minutes or so, we learnt that the electricity was back on but the lifts were still not up. As I was bored of sitting around doing nothing, I decided to climb all the way to the 18th floor. My decision was followed by two other friends.

So there we were, climbing the stairs, counting the steps allowing the number of floors to be the motivator in continuing to climb up the steps. At first I was energetic. So I was quite fast. But as I reached the 10th floor, I became slow; still climbing, not stopping, but not as fast as when I first started. I even had to control my breathing. All those breathing exercise during labour came back to me.

When I finally reached the 18th floor, I was so thankful. Yes…!! I finally did it. The lack of exercise was very transparent. Hehehehe… what to do.

So here I am, sitting down. Still tired and a bit giddy from all the climbing. I hope the lifts will be functioning in time for lunch. I hate to climb down and later climb back up on a very, very full stomach.

Anyway, remember the puppy love thingy, today is his birthday. He is 31 today. It's not my fault that I still remember his birthday. It was somehow embedded in my head.

Dear A, Happy Birthday..!!

Raya Bergaya Di Le Meridien

About two weeks ago, we had our office raya celebration at Le Meridien. As usual, I was the MC for the evening together with another colleague. We had a blast of a time, so here I'd like to share some pictures with you.

My Raya

Raya was just like any other Raya except that now I have an additional member in the family to celebrate it with. This year is Muhammad Raqib’s first Raya. So Ayah bought him a baju melayu (which was a little too big for him so we had to fold it for quite a number of times) and Bie bought him his first ketayap.

Since I had no one to take care of the kids, I couldn’t go to the mosque for the solat Raya. Felt a little sad because as you grow older, what is Raya without doing the solat and takbir Raya. I mean, doing the solat and the takbir are basically the things a grown up looks forward to when it comes to Raya in order to make the Raya meaningful (also the food lah, but that’s another thing). This is of course purely my opinion.

After the whole family got back from the mosque, my parents sat on the sofa and each and everyone of us had to do the annual ritual of asking for forgiveness, salam and hug. I remember being very dramatic when it comes to salam session when I was a lot younger. It wasn’t ‘sad dramatic’ but ‘happy dramatic’. Asking forgiveness for almost everything, which brought smiles to others around me at that time. It was funny. Those were the days.

After we had the lemang, rendang, nasi himpit and the lontong, we rested a bit and after Zohor we went to visit our arwah Uwan. Prayers were recited and water was sprinkled on top of the grave. Uwan left us on 31 July 2005. It was sad, but it was meant to be. Then we went to an aunt’s house and after that, we got home. We didn’t go out much on the first Raya. We were just tired and wanted to sleep.

The next day we went back to Kuala Pilah to visit my Uwan Teh. After eating lemang and chicken rendang (which was actually very nice), we went to Pak Ngah’s house. And we ate some more. By the time we got back to my parents’ house, we were so stuffed that we didn’t have anymore dinner that night. The next day was already the third Raya. And as per the annual ritual cum agreement I had with Bie, we headed back to KL to be with my in-laws. And of course we went to several houses and ate till we were full. I tell you, I think I have put on a lot of weight during this Raya.

Surprisingly, I had quite a nice time this Raya. Well, most of it was because we went to visit relatives and friends. My children also received quite a lot of duit Raya. In terms of dollars and cents, I don’t really know how much they received because I haven’t opened the packets yet. Malaslah. Will do it later, when I’m up for it.

That was how more or less my Raya was spent. Weird enough though, many of my friends this year aren’t doing open houses. I have not received a single open house invitation at all as at to date (except for Yamm’s this Saturday – can’t wait for that. She will always bake her famous Baked Macaroni) and that is completely the opposite of last year where open houses invitations were a lot (especially from my office friends). Except that because I was sick thanks to my morning sicknesses, I didn’t attend any. Such a shame.

Oh well… anyhow, I’d like to share some Raya pictures with you. Enjoy.

Finally Some Of The Pictures

Marysa with her Angah's handphone.

Raqib who was excited to see his Angah.

What can I say, my daughter just loves the camera.

Raqib eager to be picked up, but no one wanted to pick him up. Kesian dia.

This was at Nizam's (my cousin) wedding. Raqib was fast asleep during the commotion.

Marsya and Raqib, ever ready for the camera.

Like I said earlier, Marsya just loves the camera. Oh and that's my Ibu's hand.

That's me, with Ibu and Mak Uda at Nizam's wedding. I just had to see what I can eat from the pengantin's table.

Unable To Load Pics Up

I don't know what's wrong but somehow I can't upload any picture. I've sorted out some pictures of Marsya and Raqib and I am very excited to share them on the blog, but alas, it can't be done. Oh well, maybe next time. I also want to share my Eid story, but I haven't drafted anything yet. Maybe later. Tunggggguuuuu.....

Eid’s Just Round The Corner

In less than a week’s time, all Moslems across the world will get together to celebrate Eid. Whichever way Eid is celebrated, it will still, nonetheless be celebrated differently, according to each Moslem’s customes, yet unique and splendor in its own special way. Over here in Malaysia, what is Eid without Raya songs and firecrackers. Not to mention the large variety of delicacies that are only prepared during the Eid festival like ketupat palas and nasi, lemang and rendang, and so forth.

But somehow I feel that something is missing. I don’t know why. Frankly, I don’t really look forward to this Eid.

I have always enjoyed Eid. When I was little, the excitement that rose whenever Eid was approaching was just so great that I had to contain my excitement level to zero.

When I was a student as well, be it in Malaysia or in the UK, I had actually looked forward to Eid. The thought of coming home for Eid and balik kampong was just exciting. Especially on the eve of Eid where nearly every house that we passed by had ‘pelita’ hung on poles or stilts and you can see lights everywhere in the front yards. The view was just beautiful.

Sadly somehow, that feeling has diminished over the years. I don’t know where it went to. These days I just don’t view Eid as I used to. I wonder myself why I can’t relive all those ‘looking-forward-to-Eid’ feeling like I used to. Is it because I am married now? Is it because I have children? Is it because I am getting older? Is it because I am tired? Is it because both my beloved grandparents have passed on and there’s no kampong to go back to? Is it because my uncles aren’t close as they used to be? Is it because I am all grown-up? Truthfully, I don’t know. I don’t even have the urge to have new baju raya. I will just be wearing last year’s baju. To me, they’re still new so why waste? I only bought new outfits for my children. Somehow I love the notion that they’ll be wearing something new during Eid… yes, even the little one. Ayah has already bought him his first baju melayu.

Thinking of Marsya and Raqib though somehow makes my Eid more meaningful. Marsya already has three pairs of baju kurung courtesy of my Ayah, Maksu and Acik (both are Ibu’s sisters). Raqib only has one pair of baju melayu which I think is enough already considering he’s only four months anyway. Each of them has a few non-baju melayu and kurung to be worn after the first raya, so yeah, I think we’re ok there.

I guess Eid is meant for the young ones. I think they’re the ones who would enjoy Eid. The grown-ups are ok with it. Eid comes, and Eid goes. Everything else remains the same. I think that’s what they feel. I don’t know. That’s what I feel. Yeah it’s nice to visit relatives and old friends, but that’s just it. And of course it’s nice when thinking about the raya goodies. Somehow food during Eid seems to be most delicious. I guess after a month of fasting, any type of food that can be eaten during the day is heaven. Oh well, look at it this way. Eid is a time to gather with our loved ones, to strengthen the bonding and relationship between family members so that we will cherish the memories when we’re old later. After all, no one can take our memories from us.

Thus, I am taking the opportunity to wish everyone here, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN… make the best of this Eid to create fond and wonderful memories; something for later.

Got Tagged on Ramadhan Food

I got tagged by a dear friend to list down the type of foods that we drool over during Ramadhan. Hehehe… this is for you Pah.

Name 5 food that you feel like having now:
1. McDonald’s beef foldover
2. Big fat Marche’ sausages (yummmmyyy!!)
3. Creamy cheese and buttered mussels at Manhattan Fish Market
4. A&W root beer float
5. Extra cheese seafood lasagna

Name 5 food you would like to have for breakfast if you could (as in sahur, ok):
1. Nasi putih with prawn sambal and steamed / soupy vegetables
2. Nasi goreng kampong with Ramly chicken nuggets
3. Singapore style bihun goreng
4. Black pepper fried udon
5. Penang char kuey tiow

Name 5 food you would most likely buy for berbuka today:
1. Tau foo fa
2. Ayam percik
3. Bubur pulut hitam
4. Chicken murtabak
5. Ikan bakar

The people I’m going to tag will definitely be:
1. Pisces Man
2. Hazyr
3. Manal
4. Zha (in comment box will do)
5. Min (if you’re reading, in comment box will do)

Note though that since Syawal is just round the corner, I suggest you get to doing it soon. Wouldn’t want to miss the Ramadhan atmosphere.

Have fun, especially since you’re fasting and all.