Puppy Love

I was at the hospital yesterday to meet my surgeon and gynecologist. Suddenly, a familiar face walked in. Though slightly chubbier with a little touch of beard and moustache, I know that I will always recognize the face. In fact, my heart was thudding quite fast the minute I realized who it was.

He went straight to a lady wearing a head-dress and sat down next to her. I tried not to look at him but it was difficult. I just had to see his face to satisfy my curiosity. I just wanted to know whether it was him. But of course, I myself was acting cool. I pretended not to see him. But I was caught. As I waited to see Dr As, he and the lady moved to a sofa opposite of me. Man, now I can’t pretend not to see him. But still I ignored him. I played with Raqib and at the same time talked to Marsya. Bie was at the counter sorting out my bills.

Suddenly the nurse called out my name, asking me to get weighed. I passed Raqib to Bie and went to the scale. My weight was alright. But I think I still need to work on the excess fats. Anyway, as I walked back to the sofa, I couldn’t resist myself. I mean, I can continue to play the ‘ignore game’ or asked him if he was who I thought he was. So I walked up to him and said, “Excuse me, but are you A?”. He smiled and looked at me. His face clearly showed that he still remembered me but his response was otherwise. He said, “Yes, I am”.

All nervousness was gone. He said he thought it was me, but he wasn’t sure until the nurse called out my name. I immediately introduced him to Bie. Bie asked us how we got to know each other. I gave a simple reply not wanting to give too much information. A was being nice though and told Bie that we were from the same residential area i.e. ‘setaman’. In fact, he still remembers where I live. I smiled. How could he forget where I live? And as for me, I sure as heck know where he lives. It was such a small world. His wife’s gynecologist was actually the same as mine.

We talked. The way he talks was somewhat familiar. I couldn’t let my eyes off his face. Bie didn’t notice anything though. His wife was friendly too. Apparently they have three kids now, the eldest being seven years old. I know. He was married when I was still doing my degree. We exchanged cards and since he’s an old friend, Bie is thinking of inviting him and the family if we decide to do any ‘makan-makan’ later.

Seeing him brought back nice memories. I got to know him when I was in Form 4. We didn’t go to the same school. His was a neighbouring school whereas mine was the glamorous one in town (I can’t resist. I just have to say it.. hehehe) I somehow have a huge crush on him. Totally huge. And he was aware of that. We would meet at the bus stand and go back together in the bus since we both stay in the same ‘taman’. We have never actually dated outside, alone. But we were constantly on the phone. And if he was playing soccer with some friends at the football field in the evenings, I would be there at the field, watching him. I liked him. To the max. In fact, I was obsessed with him. My friends knew this and at one point or another, he became aware of this as well. It was really my very first crush that I thought was really serious. I didn’t have boyfriends after I met him. In fact, I would put him as a benchmark whenever a guy approached me. He actually made quite a huge impact on my adolescent life. He was also the first guy that I have ever confessed of liking. Even at that time he had a girlfriend. I don’t know why we never made it as a couple. Yeah we flirted, but that was it. I mean, I couldn’t very well ask him to be my boyfriend. He had to make the first move. But he didn’t. I learnt from friends (yes I had spies at his school… hehehe) that the boyfriend-girlfriend arrangement he had with his girlfriend too was not his doing. The girl started it. He went along with it and of course after that, he must have liked her.

I remember when I first saw him walking with his girlfriend towards the bus stand (he had to walk around my school coz my school was smack in the middle of the town) and my friends saw him. They made a buzz. I was upset (silly isn’t it? well that’s what being a teenager is all about) and the song ‘Teratai Layu di Tasik Madu’ became my companion (thinking about it now made me feel stupid… hehehe). And that was how I knew he had a girlfriend. But we remained as friends. All the way till after school, when the SPM results were announced. He borrowed my video tapes and would come to my house to return them. We would sit outside near the gates and talked. His friends would pass by on motorcycles and he would wave to them. At that time, I think he had split from his girlfriend. But I don’t know why he didn’t ask me to become his. I probably wasn’t pretty enough, I don’t know.

But yeah, from thereon whenever I met a guy, A would always be the benchmark. I don’t know what it is about him that got me attracted. I guess it was the way he talked, or his charms. He wasn’t THAT handsome and he was dark, but to me at that time, he was the most handsome and charming guy in the whole world. Even Ibu knew about him. When I was in the UK, Ibu called me just to let me know that A was getting married. Though I had been out of contact with him for a few years back then, somehow the news made me upset. And I was even with Bie at that time. I still remember Bie saying, “You dah ada I kan, buat apa you nak sedih?”. I couldn’t help it. He was my extreme puppy love.

On the way home from the hospital, I revealed to Bie who A was. His expression immediately changed, he laughed out loud, and said, “I rasa I lagi hensem daripada dia” i.e. Bie thinks he’s more handsome than A. Looking back, yes. Bie probably is. Well, not so much of the handsome bit but more to the appearance bit. Bie still has his youthfulness when he presents himself. His appearance doesn’t make him look old though he’s got plenty of grey hairs now. Though he wears collared t-shirt and slack, he doesn’t look like someone’s old uncle. He still has fashion sense that makes him look good. To me at least (I may be biased coz after all I am his wife). And me, well I am not really a fashion icon, trust me but somehow we try to emulate one another; make each other look good in our own weird ways. And I like that. It’s comforting. As for A, well… he looks more like someone’s old uncle now. His wife also looks like someone’s aunt. But they both complement each other rather well. So I guess it’s fair. Me and Bie, A and wife.

So there, it was good to see him. A lot of fond memories flashed back, but I don’t think I’d trade Bie for him. At that time I didn’t know who Bie was. Bie had not yet existed in my life. But the minute he existed, he was my first real love. A was just a puppy love. Nice at that time but not real enough.