More Superman...

I am still into Superman. Sorry, I can’t help it. The Superman effects haven’t worn off yet. Therefore, I’d like to share this article written by Michael A. Fredericks. I am in complete agreement with him.

SUPERMAN wears his underwear outside. It’s red. He only has to put on his glasses to assume his alter-ego. He’s also a tad too righteous. It all seems ludicrous.

And with today’s cinemagoers having developed a taste for the now commonplace silverscreen superheroes, who carry out their heroic deeds - swinging through an urban jungle with organic webbing, firing powerful "optic blasts" from their eyes, stretching body parts to unbelievable lengths, and growing humongous and green when angry – in super-stylish fashion without breaking a sweat, the idea that is Superman seems…old.

But Bryan Singer seems to know that it doesn’t matter; it works if it’s Superman. In fact, it could only work if it’s Superman; the man in the blue tights and red cape will remain relevant regardless of the idealistic image and retro flaws.

(To wit, imagine an X-Men team with their undies outside; or a Hulk that’s too righteous; or a Spider-Man who merely has to put on his specs to go incognito.)

One could even posit that reinventing Supes could prove to be detrimental. Which is why Singer’s take on the mythology of the Man of Steel, although different in the sense that it’s less campy comic-bookish fun than the Reeve movies, also seems strangely familiar [TOTALLY agree with this one].

It doesn’t take us long to realise that Singer isn’t going to reimagine things the way Batman Begins did, that he’s going to build things on his film’s predecessors [Gave me goose bumps here. The similarity is so overwhelming].

As Superman Returns opens, we hear the voice of the late Marlon Brando, as superdad Jor-El, spouting much gibberish, exactly like he did then. John Williams’ original music score then begins to swell, complementing the opening credits, the lettering of which duplicates that of its predecessors.

With that blast-from-the-past intro, the story begins in earnest. We learn that Superman (Routh) has been away for a while – five years, to be exact – to look for the remains of his home planet, after he fought off three supervillains and got to do the horizontal mambo with Lois Lane [I remember this so well. The supervillains were from his home planet. His dad Jor-El imprisoned them in a glass but when the glass broke, they managed to escape. I also remember Superman getting all cozy and intimate with Lois Lane. They shared a bed for goodness sake after he sacrificed his super powers coz he was hooked on Lois Lane. Way cool..!!].

Yes, the story here takes place after the events of Superman II, which says something about what Singer thinks about the third and fourth instalments [Can’t wait for the sequels].

Superman/Clark Kent realises soon enough that the world, as well as the Daily Planet, kept spinning in his absence, and people have moved on. He has probably never felt more alien in his life.

Lois (Bosworth) is now engaged to Richard (Marsden, who seems to like playing characters where his lover is in love with some other more-manly guy), the nephew of Daily Planet editor Perry White (Langella), and to add insult to injury, they have a FIVE-YEAR-OLD son (Lake Leabu). She’s also written a Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial called “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman”, we suspect out of frustration and anger.

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor (Spacey), now out of prison, has just landed himself a whole load of cash – more than enough to pay for a trip to his nemesis’ hideout, the Fortress of Solitude, to pilfer the crystals our hero left behind. Needless to say, Luthor, the Greatest Criminal Mind Of All Time, has plans - something to do with real-estate built on Kryptonite landmass - to make a major comeback [I think Spacey makes the perfect Lex Luthor. He is menacing and evil, but with style].

Likewise for Superman, who sets out to reclaim his place in the puny planet that is his adopted world.

First thing he does to that effect is save Lois from getting killed in a plane crash, which really is an excuse to showcase the CGI here. It’s an amazing cinematic moment that is stunning visually, vicariously. As the people onscreen applaud his return, we are compelled to do so too [I love the CGI effects here. They were way cool. It made me cringe in my seat. And when Superman opened the door to ask if everybody was alright, I felt like standing up and telling him that I was fine. See, sampai macam tu sekali. Hehehe..]

But if you think this one’s going to be merely about the action and special effects – which puts a gleam on the whole Superman franchise – think again. Superman Returns strives to provide more, and does so by being character-driven.

The film spends a lot of time on the love story between Lois and Superman, expanding it with the inclusion of Richard, who’s really a swell guy (he flies, too, but by more conventional means). Like the Spider-Man movies, it gets the emotional aspect right [Very affected with the emotional aspects here. What to do. I’m a woman. And women can relate better in those sort of things compared to men].

It helps, of course, that both Routh and Bosworth fit in their respective roles, and look good together [Very good. I love it when Lois Lane stood on Superman’s toes and suddenly they were already in the air. Superb, I tell you. Now that’s what I call romance in the air].

Routh, with his angular jaw, pronounced eyebrows, and imposing six-two-and-a-half frame, is a wise choice to take up the mantle left behind by a great man. Looking like a metrosexual update who poses in midair frequently, he’ll never fill Reeve’s big red boots - nobody will - but you wouldn’t go into fits if you’re a Superman devotee (something which the casting of Nicolas Cage would have provoked) [Completely agree with Fredericks here. He will never fill in Reeves’ boots. But I don’t think there’s anyone else better than to carry the legacy than Brandon Routh. He is just so perfect for the role. I did hear that Cage was supposed to be Superman. Man, am I glad that he’s not doing it. He is SO NOT perfect for the role. He’s got no hair – no offense there – and his face is just not right for the role. Luckily he wasn’t casted as Superman or else that’d be a betrayal to the Superman legacy].

In super mode, Routh channels a reflective, brooding (super) person; we feel his longing for something/someone. As mild-mannered Clark Kent, he is sufficiently clumsy, though not nearly as comfortable as Reeve was in the comedic characteristics he brought to the role.

The difference between Bosworth and Margot Kidder, who played Lois Lane in the previous movies, is even more prominent. Bosworth as Superman’s one-time lover is all poise, though she keeps a worried look on her face throughout. She, like Routh, looks younger than her predecessor was, but feels more adult and serious in the role.

Spacey comes closest in chanelling his predecessor, Gene Hackman, although he tones down the monologues, and is less winky, coming across more bitter, vengeful, and menacing.

Similarly, the supporting cast all fit in their respective roles, especially Parker Posey whose deadpan delivery as Kitty steals the show several times.

At 157 minutes, Superman Returns may seem a tad too long, but I can assure you, it would hardly register. While I wouldn’t call this one a great movie, it is more than satisfying and enjoyable (with humour strewn throughout), nicely laying out the foundation for future adventures of comicdom’s most iconic son [Let me repeat. I can’t wait for the sequels. In fact, I’m looking forward to them].

And the best thing about it? It would make you go all nostalgic. As cynical and perceptive a cinemagoer as you may be now, you wouldn’t mind the red underwear, the spectacles, or the overly righteous behaviour. In fact, you’d embrace it [Very true. Very true indeed].

He has returned, he has really returned.

A Sucker For Superheroes? Definitely…

When the whole world was excited to see the Superman Returns, I didn’t bother. I didn’t like the idea of a soap actor playing the role that the late Christopher Reeves did so well. I mean, whenever we talked about Superman, Reeves come to mind. Well, I’m not a hard die fan of the Superman trilogy but I did grow up with Reeves as Superman and watching the new movie would be some sort of a betrayal to him. So when my dearest Bie and I were at One Utama last night, we said, “What the heck, let’s just see the movie”. And thereon, we went to the cinema with no expectation at all; we just wanted to see a movie.

But man, was I wrong. The minute the opening music came on screen, the old familiarity of the Superman movies crept up in me. I could actually feel goose bumps. In fact, I was a little excited. So when Superman, this time played by Brandon came back to earth after missing for five years, I was a little skeptical. Could he pull it off? Could he become Superman? Could he become the goofy Clark Kent? But I watched anyway.

So as Clark Kent, he went to the Daily Planet to get his old job back. And I was surprised at the resemblance. The way he spoke, moved and pushed his glasses was just like Reeves as Clark Kent..!! In fact, his goofiness was apparent. I was excited. And of course he turned into Superman to save a plane from crashing and right at that moment, I was highly infatuated with the new Superman. I liked it that Brandon Routh (pronounced as ‘south’) is now the new man of steel. He was good. I guess he did his homework all right. And now, I’m a sucker for him. A sucker for Brandon Routh as Superman. I like the movie. Directed by Bryan Singer (who also directed the first two X-Men), the movie was action-packed and filled with suspense. I like the Superman Returns very much. I like Brandon as the new Superman. And now I can’t wait for the sequel.

I have always been infatuated with superheroes. Call me silly, but it’s true. Whenever I watch a superhero movie, the after effect of it would a bit childish. I actually feel like a schoolgirl. I would have stars in my eyes and I would think of them before I go to sleep. Silly isn’t it? [sigh]… what to do.. I grew up with the notions of being surrounded by superheroes. And now with the advancement in technology, not to mention good-looking men in tight spandex outfits, Hollywood has made these movies with class and style. Among my favourites is Batman, played by Christian Bale – I SO LIKE Christian Bale. He played Batman in Batman Begins with absolute style. And his character as Bruce Wayne is just so cool. Rich man by day but a caped crusader by night.

Then there’s Spiderman. Tobey McGuire as Spiderman is just so perfect. In the second movie, Jake Gyllenhaal nearly took over his role as Spiderman as Tobey was engaged in Seabiscuit. But Tobey refused to allow that. So he came back as Peter Parker in Spiderman 2. And as usual, I was infatuated with him after the movie (make that for both movies). I like the nice kid element in Peter Parker and Tobey played that part so well. And he looks adorable as Spiderman.

And of course, Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. I love ALL X-MEN movies because all of them are superheroes. But I like Wolverine the best. I like him because he has this distinct rouge about him. He’s also strong and way cool. Hugh is the perfect person for Wolverine. At first, Dougray Scott (the Scottish who played Drew Barrymore’s prince in Ever After) was supposed to be Wolverine. But, he couldn’t do it, as he was involved in Mission Impossible 2. It was good that he couldn’t make it coz I think he may not be cut out for the role. Hugh Jackman, with his nice biceps and body is the perfect Wolverine. I can’t wait for the new Wolverine movie to come out. The movie will be focusing on him alone, without his X-Men buddies.

The best part is that, I always imagine myself as the woman in these superheroes’ lives. Hehehe… perasan giler kan? But I can’t help it. I am DEFINITELY a sucker for superheroes. And if only they truly exist, I think I would find ways to ensure that I somehow am a part of their lives.

[Sigh.. too much superhero movies. It’s overwhelming…!!]

Starting To Loose Faith

The NST today featured a story of Tajuddin Ramli’s RM13 billion suit against the government and his claims that Tun Dr M and Tun Daim forced him to buy the 32% stake in MAS for RM8 per share which was way above the current market rate at that time with the assurance that the government would buy back the shares at RM8 when the financial crisis was over and that he would be relieved of all personal liabilities and losses. The purchase was considered by Tun Dr M at that time as a purpose to serve the national’s interest. The suit came about because Tajuddin claimed that the government did not live up to its words.

Surprisingly, The Star’s front cover page featured the story on MyKad and that you’re supposed to bring it anywhere with you or else you’ll end up paying fines. The story on Tajuddin was merely an article on Datuk Seri Najib denying of any knowledge of the deal Tajuddin had with the former PM. There was no mentioning of names. Tun Dr M and Tun Daim were not highlighted in the article. It just mentioned that Tajuddin is suing the government.

Another joker mentioned in both papers is Mohd Said Yusof, the Jasin MP who made the nation’s interest a few months ago when he asked the customs to close one eye over his import of sawn timber from Indonesia. After much investigation, the company was registered using his home address (which I find very stupid indeed – his own home address? Come on… give me a break). And now, to cover his back no doubt, and fight back, he’s starting to reveal the dealings that go behind the customs department. And stupidly revealing that he’s one of those people who was offered the confiscated luxury cars, at RM40k , except that the car he was interested in was reserved for a senior government official. And that made him mad. He was mad because he couldn’t buy the Mercedes CLK but was offered the Mercedes Masterpiece instead.

The strained relationship between the former PM and Pak Lah is another matter. Tun Dr M’s verbal attacks on Pak Lah while the majority of the UMNO leaders are attacking Tun Dr M, saddens me. Datuk Nazri’s declaring open war against Tun Dr M is just rude. No doubt Tun Dr M’s criticism on the current government is too much, but the younger leaders, if angry even, please show the old man some respect. He had built Malaysia into what it is for 22 years. No doubt he has his flaws and this can easily be dug out considering he’s no longer the PM, but at least have the courtesy to answer the man with respect. This whole affair saddens me. I don’t even know which side I’m supposed to follow. I don’t know who is right and who is wrong. As this is very controversial, I think it should have been done behind closed doors. Once it’s open for the public to see, the break up in UMNO is very apparent. I thought the UMNO is supposed to help the Malays and fight its cause. But now, this happens?

The handing over of the memorandum signed by nine ministers to Pak Lah to review the laws regarding religious conversions in light of the tussle concerning the burial rites of Muhammad Abdullah whom his wife claimed was Hindu while JAWI claimed that he was a Moslem is another issue.

The joint venture between ECM Libra and Avenue Capital (government-related finance company) to form an investment bank where ECM Libra’s Executive Chairman is Pak Lah’s close friend while the owner of ECM Libra with about 3% stake in ECM Libra (that’s about 13 million shares) is Khairy, Pak Lah’s son in law is also something that the majority of the public is not happy with. One wonders how Pak Lah can keep a close eye on the deal considering that this is one “related party transaction”, well not in Bursa Malaysia’s context at least.

The parliamentary debate that is aired on TV3 news is a whole load of crap. The issues that they debate on are so not value adding or beneficial to the Malaysians.

All these are making me loose faith in the government. The politicians are jokers. They don’t deserve to be the people’s representatives. They’re all interested in filling up their pockets and bank accounts with huge RM bills. They do not have the nation’s interest in their hearts. It makes me sick. I don’t worry for myself. I worry for my children. My children will still be here in 20 or 30 years to come where they’re at that age to help steer the nation to a better position. But, looking at it now, will there be a nation to steer? At least a strong and convincing one?

Don’t Know What He Wants

He never gives the clearest instruction. When he does, the end product is never good enough for him. I mean, that’s what his instruction was, right? If you don’t like the way I do it, then guide me. Tell me where I had gone wrong. Don’t just comment here and there but by the end of it, you don’t guide me how to do it. How am I supposed to know what goes on in that head of yours. I’m not Professor Xavier or Jean Grey who can read people’s mind. As a boss, shouldn’t you be leading me towards what you want to achieve. But no, all you say is re-draft. Re-draft how? The first draft was as per you’ve instructed. At least have the courtesy to guide me. Ok, so you’re too busy and could not find the time to guide me. Well, at least tell me what you want, then I’ll deliver. The problem with you is, you expect people to follow your thinking all the time. Well, sometimes I can, but sometimes I can’t. So on the occasions that I couldn’t understand what you have in mind, then explain..!!

It’s frustrating when you think that you’re on the same track as your boss but by the end of it, you find out that you’re on very different tracks. Such a waste of time and effort. I know, people will say, “It’s a learning curve. Take it with a pinch of salt”. It’s a learning curve all right, but do I have to put up with it ALL the time. It’s sickening and I’m tired. The instructions given are usually a three-liner. The other information, which is crucial to my work, is not made known to me. So of course I have to go back to you to understand further. And you’d go, “Oh, it’s like this…”. What the heck?? Tell me the whole thing upfront. Why release information bit by bit. Usually I can tolerate it, but today, I’m sick of it. I’m no manager though some of the works you gave are beyond my level of grade’s responsibility. But I’m thankful. That shows that you think I’m capable of doing certain things. But like I said, I’m no manager. Sometimes, I need guidance. And as a boss, can’t you just give that to me? If not in so many words, at least communicate your intention so that I am fully aware of your needs and wants and thus deliver.

Ok, I don’t usually burst like this when given a task. But today somehow, my feminine emotions got the better of me.

“Stay focused, Mel. DO NOT give in to emotions. You’ve faced all these before and it has never touched you in the past. Well, yes some of them made you mad, but you managed to control your temper and emotions. This is just one of those days again. Relax, ok. Have fun. Besides, you’re going to be the mc for today’s birthday bash. You need all the coolness in the world. Just do what he asks of you. If he comes back with MORE amendments, then just amend them. I know you hate for him to think that you’re incapable and start comparing you with others in the department…, well DON’T. You’re so much more than that and you know it. Or else he wouldn’t have given you the you know what”.

Bosses… [sigh].. not all are cut out to be good ones.

Hollow Moments

I am feeling ever so down lately. And I hate to admit it, but I know why. Apart from the pending ‘best friend’ who comes every month, my emotions have been a bit of a roller coaster. The management just announced the promotion list and it looks like as if I may have to report to a former colleague. No doubt he’s good, and sharp and committed, but I don’t know whether I can report to him. He came to my house to visit me during my confinement last year and I was wearing shorts (with knee high socks by the way – it was just way too hot that time), we joked around foolishly and his wife and I are friends. But now I may have to report to him and I’m feeling a bit uncomfortable with that idea… [sigh]..

What am I saying? Reporting to a colleague is the least troublesome thing that’s meddling my head. There are in fact other things, which are troubling my head. My relationship with someone whom I dearly love is at stake. I don’t know how I can keep up with this anymore. Am I in the wrong? Am I not being understanding enough? How can I pretend and act like as if nothing has happened. I am tired of this. Very tired. Things are not the way they are anymore. Whenever we plan something, it always fails because of unforeseen circumstances. I try to understand, I really do but somehow the supportive aspect is slowly making its way down the drain. Is it me? Am I too naïve to understand certain things because I’m not capable to? I hate it when I am accused of not caring anymore. I do care. Very much. If I don't care, I wouldn't bother to even think about it.

My closed ones are the place where I let off the anguish, the burden, and the sadness. I pray to Allah that things will go back the way they were. If not better. I know I’m confused and probably too small-minded to learn things that are beyond my puny little brain but shouldn’t we go to back to basics? Or are the basics too fundamental that they’re not acceptable anymore.

It makes me sad. Very sad. I don’t want to be branded as the most unsupportive one. Initially I tried to be supportive. But lately, my patience is just thinning. And what’s obvious is that, it's not just my patience alone.

Is It Time To Change

Have you ever stood in front of your wardrobe not knowing what to wear to work? Well, I have. Truthfully, there was a time where I stood in front of my wardrobe for about an hour looking and searching for the right outfit to wear to the office the next day. It would always be, “Too tight lah this pants. Can’t wear it”, or “Tak gosok lagilah. And I am so lazy to do the ironing”, or “This pants make my butt look big”, and these comments went on and on until I have finally settled on what I wanted to wear the next day.

Last night, I did it again. I stood in front of the wardrobe and stared at all the clothes I have in there. There was an AGM on Tuesday morning and I thought I wanted to look my best. I didn’t feel like wearing my three-piece (I haven’t been wearing a three-piece in such a long time), but yet I wanted to look corporate but with a hint of leisure. So I took my brown boot cut pants (they’re office pants) and light green fitting top with dark green lines just below the bosom. And I thought, why not.

So this morning, when I went to the office, I received a lot of comments. I have to admit that if I’m dressed down, I can be a bit shabby; there are days when I don’t bother dressing up. But this morning, I received quite a few comments, which urged me to re-look at the type of clothes I have in my wardrobe.

The first comment I received was, “Nampak tembam sikitlah sekarang”, in other words, I looked slightly plumpish. I guess the fitting green top showed my extra, unnecessary curves. The other comment I received was from a female colleague. She just joined us about a month ago but she’s very friendly. She was surprised to see me and said rather loudly, “Wow, you look sexy!! I like it. You look really good”. Her comments attracted curiosity from other male colleagues, who turned their heads to look at me. I was embarrassed. She told me to take is as a compliment because she said I looked good.

At the AGM this morning, I caught sight of another colleague, whom I haven’t seen for quite a while. The first word she said when she saw me was, “Mampatnya..!!”. I’m like: Huh?? What the hell?

As I walked past a guy sitting down, Marsha (the colleague whose name is similar to my daughter’s) who was walking next to me was squeezing my arm and saying, “Gatalnya Kak Mel. That guy was looking at you from top to bottom”.

Back at the office, I know that some of my male colleagues had trouble conversing with me while at the same time, looking at my eyes and not my body. I could sense it. Thereon, I felt conscious at all eyes looking at me. Luckily, I have a jacket in the office. So whenever I was in the office, I would be wearing my jacket.

This is actually a sign. A sign that tells me fitting clothes, low cut and tight pants, and short skirts are no longer my cup of tea. I am a wife and a mother, and I still dress like I’m 20!! I can’t help it. I like the way I dress. And I don’t really find it sexy. I don’t have any revealing clothes or tank tops and spaghetti straps. I don’t have skirts, which lengths are above the knee. So, where is the sexiness? Is it because of my plumpish body? So that when I wear anything, which may be a bit fitting, people resort to calling me sexy?

Whatever it is, it’s a sign. A sign that tells me to re-look at the way I clothe, after all, I’ll be turning 30 soon… [sigh]. My dearest Bie has never dictated what I should and shouldn’t wear. His only advice is to wear loose fitting clothes, which are not so revealing at the bosom or the tummy, and if possible, avoid short skirts. He never forces me to wear a headscarf. He wants me to discover that for myself. Some discovery. I am turning 30 and I still dress like I am 20.

Hhmm… I have to do something about this. But it’s so difficult. I am so used to wearing what I have been wearing since the past 10 or 15 years. Besides, my clothes aren’t sexy. Honestly. It only becomes sexy when I put them on. And it’s only some of them.

That’s not an excuse. I know. Well, for starters, I will not be wearing this outfit to work anymore. If I do, I’ll make sure that I have a jacket with me all the time. And maybe, I will start buying loose fitting tops. Well it’s a start isn’t it? I can’t do it overnight. Let’s hope that this feeling of wanting to gradually change works its magic in me. Otherwise, it’ll just be another hot-hot chicken ‘tut’.

Misyar Marriage

Lately, we have been hearing a lot about Misyar marriages. According to Prof. Datuk Dr. Mahmud Zuhdi Abdul Majid, a lecturer at the Akademi Pengajian Islam Universiti Malaya, Misyar marriages can avoid social ills in the society i.e. maksiat and it is also one of the solutions to curb the rising number of unmarried women in Malaysia. In other words, unmarried women and divorcees ought to resort to Misyar marriages to avoid the ‘shadowy’ humiliation of being single. Furthermore, women these days earn more than men and because of that they can afford having a Misyar marriage because the men do not have to financially provide for them. But what is a Misyar marriage?

“Misyar is described as a form of marriage in which the wife gives up her rights offered under the religion, including the right to have the husband living with her in the same house and providing her with necessary expenses. In short the woman gives up the right to have an independent home. The husband may come to see her at her parent’s home at whatever time he chooses for himself, or at a time agreed by the two”. [source: Islamonline.net]

Some scholars agree to Misyar marriages, while others disapprove on the context that it never existed during Rasulullah’s (PBUH) time. Well, whatever it is, Misyar marriages are practiced all over Saudi Arabia and countries near the Gulf, and these countries have always been perceived as the perfect role model for Islamic countries. Long story cut short; is Misyar marriage the perfect solution to curb social illnesses and encourage unmarried women to get hitched?

When I first read the suggestion, I was skeptical. I’ve heard of Misyar marriages from somewhere but I wasn’t sure what the arrangement is. So I surfed the net and looked it up. Believe it or not, but there are many opinions and articles on Misyar marriages. The majority of it, even those living in Saudi Arabia and the countries within its proximity, opposed to the marriage. These majorities are of course women. The sad thing is that, most of the men agree to Misyar marriages. In fact, they see nothing wrong with it. Well, that is expected (to some extent), but what angered me was the perception that these men give; being unmarried is a social stigma and should be well avoided.

As for me, I oppose to Misyar marriages. Why? Misyar marriages do not fulfill Islam’s aims of a marriage. A family is built from a marriage, which requires care and love. The family stays in one house and nurtures the relationship within by providing each other’s needs, be it financial, emotional or sexual. Then there are the children. All these components play important roles in forming a happy family and thereon a solid marriage. The husband’s role in the family among other things is to provide for the family. It is his responsibility to ensure that his family is well taken care of, as head of the family. Isn’t that is what required of a husband in Islam? If it isn’t, then why was I made to listen to it after my akad nikah? My husband then had to read a long list of items on responsibilities as a married couple.

But Misyar marriages are different. The husband comes to visit the wife (be it at the wife’s parents or the wife’s house – considering that these women are successful and rich and thus can afford to buy her own house) for conjugal visits and leave the next day. He may not visit his wife for many days, or weeks to come. But suddenly out of the blue, he’s there for his ‘matrimonial’ duty. What is that? He comes as he pleases and when he feels like having sex (out of the norm, perhaps) then he starts thinking, “Maybe I ought to visit my wife for something out of the ordinary tonight”. The husband is not entitled to provide emotional or financial support as their wives have given up those rights prior to their marriage. Note however that sexual acts require the consent of the wives. At least, that’s what I have been made to understand from Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat. He also said that consent from the wife is needed before a couple can embark on a Misyar marriage.

I just feel that Misyar marriages are just used as tools to allow men have ‘licensed’ sex out of marriage. So if they get caught, then they can say that they’re married. I also feel that the so-called social illnesses are not caused by women (well, not totally anyway) and thus improper to accuse that women should get hitched via Misyar marriages to prevent social illnesses. It takes two to tango. The ‘maksiat’ wouldn’t be there if there’s no demand. And who else demand them? Of course it’s the men (not all, this is just me being outrageously biased). So I think it’s downright unfair to say that women cause these social illnesses.

To me, a woman shouldn’t just jump into the idea of a marriage for the sake of being married. These women can do so much more and they can provide for so much more. I know some people would ridicule me and say, “It’s easy for you to say. You’re married”. That’s just it. Being married the proper way is so much better than being married the Misyar way. So why dwell on Misyar marriages when you can enjoy a real marriage and that too includes polygamy marriages (kalau dah Qada’ dan Qadar, nak cakap apa, but I shall not dwell on that). If you engage yourself in a Misyar marriage, you’ll loose out. Unless of course you’re the type that couldn’t care less about love, emotional and financial support, then be it. It is after all an individual’s choice.

But a Misyar marriage may lead to potential problems along the way. What happens if the wife gets pregnant – as Misyar marriages, well in Saudi Arabia at least, it’s supposed to be of secrecy, what happens to the children of Misyar marriages, what happens if there’s a divorce – remember that the wives have given up their rights prior to the marriage. All these need to be thought of first before agreeing to a Misyar marriage.

There are enough problems with straightforward marriages, what with the increasing number of divorce cases in the syariah court, but Misyar marriages? Considering that wives have given up their rights in the marriage long before any problem starts brewing, what are the odds of these Misyar wives getting any settlement after the divorce of their marriages? After all, the odds of husbands leaving with no trail are something that the wives cannot dispute.

So tell me, who gains from a Misyar marriage?

Pictures Of Trip To PD

I sort of promised some pictures when we went to PD last month. Well, here they are.

My friends posing with their children, except for Lin. Too bad Liny takderlah masa ni.

This was the first time that Marsya was in the pool. She was excited giler. Screaming and shrieking. Punyerlah suka.

Of course that's my daughter grinning all over and very excited.

There's Bie and Marsya at the balcony. The view was very nice from the balcony.

That's me and Marsya at the balcony.

Hard To Let Go

I was having dinner last night at my parents’ house when my third brother, Ayon said, “Ayon akan pindah JB minggu depan”. I stopped eating and stared at him.

“You mean like pindah sana for good ker?”

“Pindah as in duduk kat sana”.

“You mean sewa rumah semua and balik Seremban hujung minggu jer?”

“Mula-mula tak sewa dulu. Duduk rumah kakak kawan Ayon. Then maybe carik bilik ker”.

“Do you know that the cost of living in JB is not cheap? Mahal tau. And nanti nak bayar sewa lagi, makan lagi, and goodness macam-macam lagi. Are you sure?”

“Sini susahlah Long. Seremban takder market. Puas Ayon ronda satu Seremban including Seremban 2, but bil telefon diorang setakat RM100 jer or if lebih pun sikit. Susah…”.

I kept quiet. “Tapi gaji tak tetap. Macamana nak survive in JB?”

“Ayon akan dapat komisen”.

“Setakat komisen, tapi tak tentu. Tak tetap. The point is, kau asyik buat semua ni dah dapat belum any income?”

“Kalau tak keja camner nak dapat duit”.

“Yeah I know. But meanwhile, your set up cost staying there, sapa bayar? Ayah?”

“Alah.. Ayon ada duit sikit”, he mumbled, eating his rice without looking at my face.

“Along tak taulah Yon. Susah hati Along kau nak ke sana. Takder duit ke nanti, how?”

“Susah Long kat sini. Kat JB market dia besar lagi. Budak-budak dia tak buat keje. KL pulak, competition banyak. So, Ayon rasa memang Ayon kena gi JB lah”.

I kept quiet. He was adamant to go to JB. I worry about him. He doesn’t have a fixed income job. How is he going to survive in JB? His eyes are only on the huge commission if he gets to lobby a proposal for a phone company. That is, if he succeeds in getting a project from that of a potential client. Otherwise, he’ll have nothing. I told him to continue his study. Do a degree. A diploma is SO NOT sufficient these days. But he didn’t want to. He said he pitied Ayah as he would have to pay for his education when Ayah also has to pay for Haikal’s. When I told him to get a proper job, he ignored me completely. He kept on talking about the huge commission he’s going to get if he gets a project.

I know that he’s 26 but in my mind I still see him as my younger brother. I still see him smiling from ear to ear sitting on Ibu’s lap or clinging to Ibu when he wanted something. He was the youngest and dimanjai oleh everyone, until Haikal came into the picture that is. Whatever it is, he’s my brother and I fear for him. Is it time for me to let go? [Sigh]… I don’t know. I just can’t seem to let go. Ni belum Haikal lagi ni.

“So Along balik tak minggu depan? Ayon nak pergi JB hari Ahad minggu depan”.

“Hhmm.. Along tak baliklah minggu depan Yon. This weekend kan dah balik. Why don’t you come to KL? Before pergi JB”.

“Tengoklah camner. Ayon balik weekend ke Seremban. Dalam dua minggu sekali. So kita jumpalah nanti”.

“Well, you are always welcome to visit me in KL before you go to JB”.

That night before leaving for KL, I woke him up to tell him that I was going home. He salam my hands and kissed them. I felt my eyes watery. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to grab him and hug him tightly, to tell him to take care of himself in a big city such as JB. But Ayon and I…, well, we don’t do hugs. Unlike Haikal who would kiss my hands and both my cheeks whenever he salam me, and he’s already 18.

I pray that he’ll get lots of projects so that he’ll receive a huge amount of commission. I so badly want to see this thing work out for him. He deserves it. He truly deserves it… [sigh]… It’s so hard to let go…

Happy Week

When Maksu told me that she was going back to Taiping for the school holidays, I felt tired. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Maksu can go back to her kampung if she wishes to. After all, she still has Tok Wan (her father-in-law) and besides, she needs to take a break after taking care of the kids at home. But that would mean that I have to go back to Seremban and commute daily Seremban-KL. To tell you the truth, I love commuting from Seremban to KL and back. Why? Well, I don’t have to drive, Bie does. And my office is just off Sungai Besi, so I don’t have to go through such terrible traffic jam. Unfortunate for my dearest Bie, he has to face a couple of traffic jams in order to reach his office. However, with the price of petrol these days costing RM1.92 per litre, we would probably have to spend about RM250 for petrol, not to mention the tolls, which add up to RM86. And this is just for the week. Bie just felt that it would be financially constraining. So, the only thing, which we resorted to do, was borrow Bibik from Ibu.

So last Sunday when we went to Gambang to send my brother off to his college, Ayah brought Bibik along. But when he went back to Seremban that night, he left Bibik with us. Thus the week started with Bibik staying with me.

Mentally, I felt relieved. I am not only leaving Marsya in good hands (Insya Allah, so far Bibik nampak macam sayang jer dengan Marsya), but I am also leaving the house in good hands.

Last Monday, I was on leave as I needed to assist Bibik to get accustomed to the house. When I woke up, she had already mopped the floor and cleared my kitchen, like arranging things in the right order, getting rid of unwanted items and folding my plastic bags, which I have to admit; it’s not something that I am patient with. I don’t even have time to fold my own laundry, let alone plastic bags..!! But she did it. My shelf was cleaned from any dust and my picture frames too didn’t have any dust on them. So I went about doing my laundry and taught her how to use the washing machine, microwave and iron.

Bibik cooked and ironed the clothes. I took care of Marsya. I bathed her, fed her, and played with her. Bibik did all the other chores. When my dearest Bie got home that evening, he felt good too. Otherwise, he had to park his car at the LRT Wangsa Maju, take the LRT to Taman Jaya to meet me, and then go off to Maksu’s place. After dinner, we would drive back to our house and reach it at only 10pm; too tired to do anything else. So yes, he likes having Bibik around.

On Tuesday, I had to go back to work. But I called Bibik occasionally to query on Marsya. And that evening, when the clock struck 5.30pm, I was eager to go home. It has been such a long time since I reached my home while the sun was still in the sky. Bibik had already fed Marsya and my laundry had been sorted out. While I played with my daughter, Bibik went to the kitchen to cook dinner. I felt at ease. I wasn’t tired mentally as I had help in sorting out the house and my daughter while I was away.

Last night, I left Marsya with Bibik while I went to KLCC with my dearest Bie to see X-MEN: THE LAST STAND. We watched the 9.30pm show (really good… I loved it). When I got home, Marsya was already asleep.

Today is already Friday. Tomorrow, I have to bring Bibik back to Ibu. Next week is the beginning of the school term and the roads will be busy again. I have to go back to my daily routine; leave the house at 6.30am to send Marsya to Maksu’s place and in the later part of the day, reach home at 10pm, too tired to do anything else.

[Sigh]… oh well, what to do.

Bibik’s contract is expiring this October. She has expressed her interest to stay on. In fact, she has been receiving other offers from three parties who want her as their maids. Ibu does not want to renew her because Ibu is retiring early next year. And since my brothers no longer stay at home (except for Ayon), there’s nothing much that Bibik does. So Ibu is thinking of letting her go so that Bibik can stay with me and help me out. Hhmm.. something to think about.

Sports Carnival

On 27 May 2006, my company (well, the Group level) organized a Group Sports Carnival at Uniten, Kajang. At first I didn’t want to go because I was malas lah. I had wanted to stay at home and lazed in front of the tv. But because the girls’ volleyball team didn’t have enough players and they need reserves or else they’d be disqualified from the game, I reluctantly agreed to become their reserve. So, on the day before the carnival, I attended a practice session with the team.

However, let me be frank with you. I have NEVER played volleyball in my whole entire. I have never liked the game because I always ended up having bruises on my hands, wrists and arms. So, the practice session was the first volleyball game for me.

On Saturday, I made my way to Uniten. Well actually the volleyball game was at the Petronas sports center or some sort, which is near Uniten. As I had to be there by 8.30am, I drove like mad from Seremban to Petronas (about 130 to 140 km per hour – NOT good). I think my Wira pun macam nak collapse jer. The rumblings of the engine were very clear.

When I got to the court (outdoor mind you), I changed into my jersey and did a warming up session. It was fun. The boys played first. I had fun cheering them on. Then it was the girls’ turn to play. I thought I was going to be the reserve player, but Fizah wasn’t confident that she could serve so she asked me to be in the team. Aku pun apa lagi… (excited kan after the practice on Friday).

We won the first game. It was a wonderful feeling. Well, let’s just say that we played against a not-so-good team and that’s why we won. The other three games after that weren’t that great. We lost the second and third game. But as for the forth game, we went onto the rubber set (which wasn’t bad considering that everyone was tired at that time). Because it was blazing hot on Saturday AND because I forgot to apply my sun block, my face and arms, particularly my nose, were shining red..!! Not just mine, everybody had flaming red faces. I was sun burnt. I hate it, but what to do. The skin was already burnt so I just have to go through the painful and itchy process of skin peeling. I was aware of that.

The boys didn’t have much luck. They didn’t win any game. But they did put up a good fight so that was good enough.

Apart from the games, I had fun just hanging out with my colleagues and friends. We chatted, laughed and talked. I even had the chance to mingle with a new staff, a not so bad looking guy (the only good looking guy near our hanging out place) who had just joined our Sales & Marketing department in Johor. He was being extra friendly with me. And I wasn’t looking my pretty that day. Shucks..!! Before you get any ideas, kawan jerlah..!! He was nice and he wanted to show me some pointers, so I accept jerlah. Takkan nak halau dia kot.

At about 5.30pm when we have no more games to play, we did a warm down exercise. It was good. I thought I was going to be so lepek on Sunday but the warm down exercise helped a lot. I was actually quite all right on Sunday. And so were my other volleyball mates.

The sports carnival was actually fun. And I actually enjoyed volleyball, much to my surprise. I even want to maintain this team we have and continue to practice volleyball; all the necessary skills and knowledge so that we can win next year. Go VOLLEY..!!

A Call From An Old Friend

I was fast asleep when suddenly I heard the phone ringing. I thought it was my alarm clock, so I ignored it because my dearest Bie would switch it off for me, as usual. But then Bie gave the phone to me saying that it was my friend. Now, who would want to call me at 3.30 in the morning? Sleepy as I was, I picked up the phone.

Fancy my surprise when I heard a man speaking in a German accent on the other line.

“Achim..!!” I screamed. I heard him laugh on the other line.

“Hi Masleena. It’s been a long time”.

“Yes it has. I haven’t heard from you for a quite a while”.

“I have been busy and my life has been a bit off track, but that’s another time. Maybe I will write you a long email later. I am with Jesus and Susana here. And he has news to share with you. He’s getting married next Saturday with Susana”.

I was no longer sleepy. “Wow.. congratulations”.

“I’ll pass the phone to him”.

So I spoke with Jesus. He is getting married this coming Saturday and is very happy about it. He told me that he is going for his honeymoon in Vietnam. I protested and told him to come to Malaysia again because I can arrange for some really nice accommodations. But he said that he couldn’t promise to drop by Kuala Lumpur. However, he invited me to Spain instead. After talking for a few more minutes with Jesus, and then Achim, we hung up.

That was nice. I haven’t been in contact with Achim for quite a while now. The last email that I received from him was late last year when he told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend and was working in Vienna. He does call once in a while, but it has been ages as well since we spoke on the phone. But, he never fails to call me to say hi, which is very nice of him.

I know Achim back in Newcastle. We had an elective class together. I can’t remember which subject though. But thereon we became good friends. We would meet up for coffee at the Student Union or walk together to Eldon Square where later he would walk me to my bus stop so that I could catch the bus home. Sometimes we would meet up at the library and discussed about the subject we took. We even talked about life, philosophy and religion. He was doing his degree at that time. But older than me as he was one of those students who took up tertiary education at a later age.

I invited him over for a nasi ayam when I was in Dilston Road and he loved it. He tried eating with his bare hands (coz he saw that some of the Girls who were there at the time, were eating with their hands). Of course it was funny to see him eat with his hands, but he didn’t mind. Because we were quite close, Bie didn’t feel very comfortable with it. He didn’t like the fact that Achim would say hi to me when he saw me but ignored him.

When I returned to Malaysia whereas he returned to Germany, we kept in contact. We would exchange emails and he would sometimes call me. In October 2001, he visited me in Malaysia. He brought his Spanish friend with him, Jesus Gonzales. It was nice. Coz I had just started working, I couldn’t take much of leave. So, I let him stay with my parents to experience the Malaysian family way of life and my parents took them out on day trips to PD, Malacca, etc. Trust me, I had stupid arguments with Bie along the way because he didn’t seem to like the idea that Achim was staying with me and my parents under the same roof for two weeks. Not until he helped Achim and Jesus during their visit to Pangkor that Bie then approved wholeheartedly of my friendship with Achim. And Achim also finally acknowledged Bie. It was funny. I don’t know why he ignored Bie before.

We promised to visit him in Germany in 2006 for the World Cup. But alas, it was not to be. Achim was excited though and promised that he would arrange accommodations and buy us the game tickets. Unfortunately, due to no excess of funds, we couldn’t go to Germany this year. Oh well. Maybe later. Hopefully.

His phone call last night brought back good memories. I so hope that I can see him soon. I told him to come back to Malaysia for a visit, but due to work commitments, he couldn’t come. Oh well, I just hope that Jesus will find time and drop by in Kuala Lumpur during his visit to Vietnam.

The First Of Everything

Have you ever reminisce about the past where you smile to yourself and say, “That’s the first time I did that”. Well, I too am sometimes drawn back to my past just thinking about the first time I did that, or did this; went there or went here, have that or have this, and the list of the first for everything goes on and on. Here I’d like to share with you on ten of my first time of everything.

First favourite book
Honestly, I don’t remember the first book I owned, however I do remember liking a certain book when I was little. A book that I would read over and over again without feeling tired. It’s an old Malay folk tale called Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup. I used to cry (nearly all the time) when I read the part where the mother ran in search of the batu belah batu bertangkup because she was disappointed that her son Pekan ate the last telur ikan tembakul. It was heart wrenching.

First soft toy
Gosh.. this is something that is difficult for me to recall because I do not own any soft toy when I was small. In fact, I was afraid of dolls and puppets. So when girls my age played with soft toys, I would be climbing trees and swim in rivers with the boys. But, let’s see… I guess it would have to be the panda soft toy, about the size of a pillow. Ayah bought it for me when we were in the UK (when Ayah did his PhD). I hugged it when I went to sleep at night. I remember bringing the panda back with us to Malaysia, but somehow I don’t know where it is now.

First jewellery
Has to be my gold baby bangles that my grandmother gave me when I was a baby. In fact, I still have them. I think I will be passing them to my daughter.

First Tadika
Tadika Kemas near the simpang of Kampung Tanjung Petai. I went to the tadika for two years i.e. when I was 5 and 6. I remember my grandfather used to send us (my brother and I) to the tadika every morning on his motorcycle and fetch us around noon. Those were good times.

First fight
My grandmother (arwah) used to laugh whenever she remembered this. I think I was 5 years old. It was a squabble between Ateh, Jain both boys mind you, and myself. We were in front of my grandmother’s house but I don’t remember what the fight was about. Jain took a swing at me but I ducked so his hand kena the mata kucing tree. Then Ateh took a swing at him, whereas I was shouting at the top of my voice telling them to stop fighting. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth coz I kena also. All of us ended up with bruises and small cuts. It was funny.

First best friend
Definitely Haslinda when I was in standard 1 to standard 3. We were the exact opposite of each other. She was fair whereas I was dark, she was lemah-lembut whereas I was a tomboy, the boys seemed to like her in a girly fashion, whereas boys liked me coz we were satu geng. But we somehow lost contact when I followed Ayah to the UK.

First boyfriend
Believe it or not, but I have never had a boyfriend before I met up with my dearest Bie. Yeah I had admirers (surprisingly quite a few, considering I wasn’t that pretty – looks fade, personality flourishes – that’s what I believe in, and that’s how I got the admirers… I think.. hehehehe). And yes, I go out with them. But never anyone that I can call as my boyfriend. So I would have to say that my first boyfriend is Bie. And that was back in February 1998.

First Job
As a temporary teacher teaching standard 2 and 6 at a primary school in Seremban while waiting for the A-Level results to come out. That was the first time that I had ever received a salary.

First car
Silver Wira eroback 1.3. In fact, I still drive it. And it’s been five years now.

First devastating death
It has to be my grandfather whom I called Tok Yah. He was Ibu’s father. I grew up surrounded by Tok Yah and Uwan (my grandmother). They took care of us when we were little up until the day Ayah whisked us away to the UK. We missed them like mad. Tok Yah died of an unknown illness. The doctor himself didn’t know what his illness was thus did not know how to cure him. I was in PPP/ITM when it happened, all ready to manage an event at the Siswi college. I was Block 4’s president. As usual, I called home to ask how Tok Yah was because the last time I saw him that weekend he was in the hospital. I didn’t kiss him as usual coz I didn’t want to disturb him sleeping. No one seemed to be home. Maksu wasn’t home, my parents weren’t home and Pak Ngah was also not home. His daughter was home though and when I asked her on Tok Yah’s conditions, she said she didn’t know. I was mad at her. How could she not know how Tok Yah was. I called Wanteh’s house and her daughter picked up the phone. She cried even before I could ask her anything. My heart was thumping like crazy. The only house, which I didn’t call, was my grandparents’ house (it was weird as to why I didn’t call the house first). So I dialed the number and Ibu picked up the phone. She passed the phone to Ayah. Ayah told me to get a grip on myself and that Tok Yah had passed away. I couldn’t hear him anymore. Tears were rushing down my face. Without I realize it, I was wailing like mad at the public phone booth. Apparently Tok Yah had passed away for 3 days. My parents didn’t tell me because I was having my A-Level trial exam. Up till this day, I remember the event that happened surrounding his death like as if it was yesterday. I still cry whenever I remember it.

I think that’s just about it. There are a lot more, but I think I better stop it at that.

Now… whom do I wish to tag into doing this. I think it would have to be:
1. Yamm
2. Pah
3. Murni
4. Zha
5. Maie
6. Liny

As for the others tu, rasa diorang malas kot. BUT, if you want to, why not. I would truly appreciate it. If you don’t have a blog, just list your first of everything in the comment box. That’d be cool.

Those who have been tagged, hope to see your respond soon.

Kari Kepala Ikan at Kampung Attap

Zam treated us to kari kepala ikan today for lunch. It was HUGE! Besar giler..!! I wonder how big the fish was. And the dish itself was RM60. I mean, for a fish head that hasn’t got much of meat, apart from certain areas, it sure does costs a lot. Oh well, since I didn’t pay, who cares..!!

We lapah the fish head like no one else. The eyes menjadi rebutan antara Zam and Rub. Well, since the fish had two eyes; Zam took the left one while Rub took the right one. Not long, the fish head tinggal tulang. I think there were still some leftovers stuck in between the bones, but I wasn’t bothered to pick them. Zam said if he was at home, he would lapah the fish bone head even further. I looked at the remaining of the fish head. “Apa jer lagi yang tinggal yang boleh dimakan? Macam dah takder meat jer lagi”. To which Zam replied that the juice from the bones are to die for. At home, he would suck the juice out from every corner of the fish head that are edible. Well, since I’m not really a fish head eating person, I wouldn’t know. But it’s nice to eat with someone who appreciates fish head to that extent.

It was already 2.15pm when we finished eating. Our office hours begin at 2pm every day. Since my boss is in today, I don’t think it would look good if he was to look for me and I wasn’t there. So, we hurriedly left the kari kepala ikan place and drove back to the office.

Though it’s already 5.30pm, I’m still full. And I’ve got volleyball practice this evening as our sports carnival is this Saturday. I don’t know whether I can cope playing with a full stomach like this. And to make matters worse, my hands still smelt of curry (while sniffing my hands to my nose…) and I hate it. [Sigh]… the smell is going to stick there for a few days yet. I know. Experienced it before.

What’s Happening?

I read the paper this morning and was shocked to find out that a boy who got kidnapped last Thursday from his home in Subang Jaya was murdered and dumped in the Sitiawan River with both his legs sticking out of a suitcase among the mangroves. He was only seven years old. And to make matters worse, he was killed because he knew who his kidnapper was. It was his uncle.

What is the world coming to? I scorn anybody for killing anyone, but to be at the mercy of your own relative? It’s just something that I can’t accept. I curse the man for killing his own nephew. I hope he burns in hell. This kidnapping case is one of the many criminal cases involving young children and toddlers these days. It’s just so depressing to hear about babies being abused by their own parents (if it’s a maid, yes.. I can tolerate that. But I still CANNOT condone the act of abusing – I curse whoever abuses ANYONE for that matter, especially babies and young ones who cannot fend for themselves).

There any many cases whereby parents brought their babies to the hospital after their babies vomited blood and the doctor who did the medical check up found out that the babies were abused. Some of the abused babies even died due to internal injuries or blood clot in the head. It depressed me to read such things on the paper. What makes me even sad is the thought that the babies’ OWN PARENTS can actually do such things to them.

Don’t let me start on the abuses. They are just beyond description; something which I would not like to be reminded of. Your babies are the gift from God. Why abuse them? They’re young and helpless. You are there to protect them and to nurture them into becoming good people. You’re not there to kick them or swing their heads onto doors and walls… [sigh]. It’s so distressing to see what parents are capable of these days. And we’re only touching on abused children.

What about fathers raping their own children? There are many of that around as well. I’m sure you’ve read in the news recently about a bogus ‘religious’ man who raped nearly all his daughters at the coax of his wives as he reasoned that if he didn’t do that, his daughters would commit such ‘relationship’ with other men and him, the father, wanted to prevent that from happening. So he did the girls first. How sick and nauseous is that? And the most unbelievable thing was that, his wives were duped into being his pimp. They actually asked their daughters to perform this ‘ritual of preventing sex with other men’ with their husband??!! How intolerable is that?

And that’s just one of the MANY cases that was highlighted. What about those that were not highlighted? I read in the Sunday Mail many months ago that in Malaysia, 9 out of 10 rape cases were unreported. Statistics showed that only about 20% of rape cases happened in public places while nearly 70% of them happened in the ‘safety of homes’. And get this, nearly 80% of the rapists are people known by the victims. In 2004, a 43-year old ex-soldier was found guilty of raping his own daughter at his Tanah Merah, Kelantan house. And in 2003, the nation was shocked over the report of a 10-year-old girl, Nurul Huda was her name, was raped by three men at a Gelang Patah TNB sub-station. She was only about a hundred meters from her house. Thinking about it today makes me fear the safety of my own little daughter. I think rapists should die a slow and painful death.

What is happening? Malaysia is no longer safe to live in. And imagine this; I only touched upon abuses, rape and murder cases. There is in fact MANY MORE of criminal cases out there in Malaysia today that are not highlighted here. Murder cases seem to happen nearly everyday these days (so are rape cases). Be it the murder of our own locals or immigrants. Even a snatch thief can kill its victims….and snatch cases used to be ‘victim-friendly’.

We must be very cautious these days. Sometimes, the comfort ness of your own home may no longer be safe too. Remember the recent case where the husband stabbed his own wife to death while she was breastfeeding her six-month old baby? How could he do that? To his own wife? His own children? What would people tell the baby when he/she grows up? That your dad killed your mom while you were breastfeeding? Imagine the trauma that the children faced and experienced. One minute your mom was alive and well and the next minute she was dead. It was lucky that the baby wasn’t killed as well in the process.

[sigh]… I feel sad for the world. Armageddon is truly befalling on us.

Weird Feeling

Previously I posted an entry about having a stupid argument with a friend at the Putrajaya Mosque. Well, due to recent events where I feel that I ought to reflect on myself, (not to mention a continuous persistence from a friend), I sent him a text message apologizing for the event that took place. I know I was at fault and that I was too egoistic to admit otherwise.

Me : Hi. Still mad at me? Sorry for any hurt that I caused. It was truly my fault. I understand if you’re still angry but I hope we can start all over.

Him : I was mad? Bila?

Me : Please lah. Back in March dulu. Mad and maybe more to disappointment. Whatever it is, I am sorry ok.

Him : I wasn’t mad at you… no, not at all.

Me : Whatever you felt back then is highly regretted. But I hope we’re ok.

Him : I can’t stay mad at you dear, I love you too much…

Me : [Hah? Is this guy for real…?] Are you saying that to make me feel even more guilty? You’re not playing with me? I’m thankful that you can’t stay mad at me for long though. Thank you so much…

He didn’t reply to my last text message.

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the last text message he sent me. I love you too much..?? What’s that supposed to mean? I have known him for more than 10 years now and never throughout the entire friendship has he ever uttered a single word reflecting love, sayang or care towards me. He always makes remarks that sometimes make me want to tear his eyes out. Well, metaphorically. Even another friend thought that he’s too macho to say such words to anyone.

But yes, I have to admit that over the years, he has grown mature so I never feel like tearing his eyes out anymore, but he always has this smug on his face whenever we talked about something. It’s like as if he’s saying, “I know you too well, Ija”. Well why shouldn’t he. He has known me for 12 years now. But then, I’m an open book. Everybody knows me too well for my liking.

It made me think back on the past relationship I had with him. We were never a couple. Never. I was always his close friend. Should he have feelings for me in the past, I don’t know, as he had never made it clear on whether he had feelings for me or not. I do know that he was romantically involved with a girl called S. He introduced me to S and when S ditched him, he tried to win her back. But to no avail. S is married now, so I’ve heard. So there was never a moment that he could have had affections for me unless of course as a friend. He better have affections for me as his friend. Yes he asked me to go to trips with him and explored Europe at his expense, and then there were the occasional gifts. But I always take it that he did that coz I’m his close friend. I mean, he never said anything about loving me be it before I got to know my dearest Bie or before I got married.

But I do remember him being upset when I got engaged to Bie. He didn’t call me for about three months. I merely thought that he was upset coz I didn’t tell him first that I was getting engaged. I mean, I had a lot of other friends as well, especially my girlfriends so it’s only natural that I tell them first.

And he also has given me vibes in the past that he thought I was somewhat special, but they were only vibes. I don’t take hints. You want me, you tell me upfront. Even if you give a million hints, I wouldn’t bother as they’re only hints. Bie went straight to the point. He liked me back then, he went ahead and told me.

[Sigh] I guess he loves me because we’re such close friends. In fact, looking at it now, it’s probably nothing. Maybe I am being perasan only. Oh well… but it’s nice to know that somewhere out there, a friend loves me.

Who Said PD's Not Fun

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to gather with a group of small friends, mainly those I went to school with. These are my close ex-school mates; those who studied form 4 elsewhere because most of them obtained glorious results. In fact, out of yesterday’s group, I was the only one who didn’t study somewhere else after SRP. But, I am happy that we’re still good friends.

Maie’s husband works with FAMA so she managed to obtain cheap accommodations at the Institut Latihan FAMA in PD. I thought the place was really going to be creepy considering that it was a government body’s resort, but the surprise was on me.

We left my parents’ at 1.30pm. The rest of the girls were either on their way or still traveling from KL to Seremban, contrary to what was arranged earlier on (yes Lin, that means you :P). So, when we already passed Telok Kemang, we were skeptical. I mean, where on earth is this FAMA’s resort. We kept on looking for signboards to the place but there were none.

After the army camp, I think about a few kilometers more, we saw the signboard. To get to the resort, we had to pass by ‘kampungs’ and orchards. It was a change from the bustle of the city. Then we saw it. It was white with blue roofs. Niza was already there with her family. I got out of the car and went to the lobby. It was quiet. Either its visitors were busy taking naps or they weren’t anyone else there. The sight of Niza greeting me at the lobby was somewhat pleasing. Apparently she had all the keys with her. She showed me the apartments and we finally resolved to stay in the one near the pool.

I opened the apartment, expecting a strange and stuffy smell coming out from it. But I was wrong. The apartment smelt fresh (courtesy of the citrus air freshener). It was clean. The bedsheets were also clean. The bathroom was clean. The balcony was clean. We could actually walk barefooted without having to worry about our feet being dirtied by dust.

Not long after that, the girls came, one by one. Liny was the last to arrive. She joined us straight at the pool, carrying a plastic bag of warm pisang goreng. So there we were at the pool, watching the kids play and talking. It wasn’t long before I joined in the pool with the kids (and their mothers and fathers). It was also the first time that Marsya got her body wet in a swimming pool. She was excited. She kept on splashing the water. At one time, she fell while walking in the pool and drowned sekejap. She didn’t want to be held. Bie picked her up. She was coughing and scoffing water out. Her eyes were puffy and she was also vomiting. When I took her to the adult pool and placed her in the baby’s float, she was terrified. She held on to me really tight. But when she got the hang of it, she was soon having fun. She even moved her legs in the water as if swimming. It was fun to see her. Her screams could be heard all around the pool. She was having a blast time. When we wanted to get her out of the pool, she was also screaming. Screaming not to be taken out of the pool.

That night Marsya slept at 7.30pm up until 8.30am the next day. Luckily for Bie and I. We could enjoy laughing with our friends without any disturbance from Marsya.

After dinner, we watched Lin’s wedding on dvd. We also ‘kutuk’ her ‘kaw-kaw nyer’. She couldn’t do anything to defend herself. It was funny. After that, we watched Elizabethtown but as most were already sleepy, I didn’t finish the dvd. I think I only stopped at the part where Orlando Bloom got back to the hotel with his father’s cremated body in the urn.

The next morning, we hung out, had breakfast and chit chatted. Lin went to PD’s market to buy fresh flowers for her mother as it was Mother’s Day.

We left the resort at about 2pm.

It was fun. It has been a long time since we gathered like that. In fact, it was the first time that we went somewhere to hang out rather than have short gatherings at any of our houses. I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Cuma we didn’t have much time to gossip. Maybe next time.

Will post pictures soon.

Tupai-Tupai

I had quite a nice lunch yesterday. About 17 of us went to Tupai-Tupai for lunch. Most of the bosses weren’t in. So the prospect of going out for lunch seemed like a tremendous idea.

There were four cars. When we reached Tupai-Tupai, our tables were already booked and the foods have all been pre-ordered. So, about a minute of sitting down, the foods arrived. There was about six dishes altogether. There was Tom Yam, toufu, siakap masak masam-masam manis, telur bungkus, vegetables ikan masin and lemon chicken. They were all good. The Tom Yam however could have been better. I don’t meant to brag but I have eaten a Tom Yam, which tastes so much better. We finished the main course with desert; trifle with ice cream on top.

Our tables were noisy. Apart from the sounds of people munching food, there were a lot of banters and chitchat. Kutuk-mengutuk, catch up on latest gossips, etc, etc. It was a good lunch. And it has been a while since we actually had lunch like that. The last time we did lunch was when we ordered A LOT of pizzas to the office about two months ago. That was good as well.

I love my colleagues. I can’t have enough of them. We are so close. I think I have mentioned this before in my previous post. I will definitely miss them if I leave the company. No doubt that the pay is measly, but the people have never failed to bore me. Even if I come to the office with a mood that makes people cringe, by the end of the day, I would have been better. I have never been in such good company before. I know that I have only worked for two companies since I graduated, but I don’t know whether I’ll find a good company as this at other places. Yeah I know that different places offer different benefits, what with different surroundings and all, but my current environment with these people that I work closely with every day, is just something that I find very hard to let go. Heck, I even shared my desert with a male colleague..!! Something which I don’t normally practice… before you people (whoever’s reading) get the wrong idea.

So yeah, Tupai-Tupai is quite a nice place to hang out if you have a large crowd of friends with you. And it is good to eat out with your colleagues once in a while. I don’t mean eat out at the usual place or tapau bawak naik atas. What I mean is REALLY hang out and have lunch… and of course pay a little extra while you’re at it.

Not So Good Monday Morning

I am in a foul mood this morning. I think it all began last night when I couldn’t find my blue pants. It’s uniform day and I’m supposed to be wearing my blue pants. But as I couldn’t find it, I had to wear my grey pants. And last night, Marsya couldn’t sleep, so she was crying, sort of ‘mengigau’. My dearest Bie (not that dearest last night) didn’t want to wake up. He asked me to pick Marsya from the baby cot, while he continued to sleep. I had to go to the bathroom, but no… he asked ME to pick Marsya up. So we had a few minutes of ‘eye-glaring and non-talking’ argument, and I picked Marsya from her baby cot, hugged her and brought her to sleep with me on the bed.

This morning, on the way to work, I nearly collided with a motorcycle on the traffic light at PJ Hilton… and of course got cursed by the motorcyclist in the process. I didn’t mean to. I was trying to kejar the green light because the cars next to me wouldn’t let me pass by, walhal they were going straight; I wanted to go right. So by the time I got to the traffic light, it was red again and I thought since the police was there, he’d let me pass by. But NO.. not did I only got cursed, the policeman prohibited me from going right. I told him that I wanted to go right into Federal Highway, but he showed his angry face and told me to go straight. I had no choice. I went straight. I guess he saw me nearly langgar the motorcyclist. He could have allowed me to go right, as the traffic from the other side wasn’t using the road yet, but he made me miserable by not allowing me to go right and forcing me to go straight.

I was very upset. The u-turn junction was far ahead and traffic was building up on the federal highway. I didn’t want to be late.

But I went ahead to look for the u-turn and made my way back to the federal highway, my face all squirmy and upset.

As I reached the parking space this morning, I nearly knocked against a fence. Luckily it only ‘kissed’ my car bumper by a mere millimeters distance.

As I didn’t want to be late, I didn’t buy breakfast.

I swiped my card at exactly 8.28 am.

And because of all that have happened, I am not exactly in a very good mood. Let’s hope that by lunch, my mood would have been restored.

Trip To JB

When Bie told me that we HAD to go down south for the weekend to attend a wedding, I felt bored already. I don’t really like going to JB. It’s just so tiring. Sitting in the car for over four hours with Marsya who these days tak boleh duduk diam, is certainly not something I look forward to. Besides Bie would definitely be the only one driving, AND we would definitely have to bring Bak’s kancil. Malasnya…

So Bie decided that we ought to bring our car. It would be more spacious and Marsya can walk from one end of the car to the other. Though my heart still didn’t want to go, I went ahead with the plan anyway. Tak best lah kan if I don’t go (that’s me, trying to be positive about the whole thing). Besides, biler lagi nak kenal dengan my husband’s relatives. So with a very slightly heavy heart, I tried to look forward to the trip to JB.

On Saturday, Bie picked me up from my parents’ place and I was surprised to see my brother-in-law joining us. He NEVER joins in any of the family trips or affairs. He always had something going on. I wondered how Mak got him to join us. I also sighed heavily. That would mean that the car would be very cramped and we would end back to square one. It’s like driving a kancil BUT with five passengers now instead of four… Marsya excluded. But the trip had to go on, so there we were, all five of us cramped in a wira heading towards JB.

We reached JB at 11.00 pm. On the way there, we stopped by the Restoren Jejantas coz Bie and his brother wanted to see the football match between Manchester United and Chelsea. I was a bit irritated because that would mean that we would reach JB quite late. But if the EPL’s on TV, Bie would always find ways to watch it, especially if it involves his MU team. So there we were, for about 45 minutes. We continued our journey to JB before the second half of the game began. Thank goodness for that. By the way, MU lost to Chelsea 3-0. Too bad.

We slept at a relative’s house. Marsya couldn’t sleep that night. She was cranky and didn’t want to sleep. It was past 2.00 am and I was sleepy. My parents-in-laws had long gone to sleep. Bie wanted to watch James Bond. And he asked me to tidurkan Marsya. I got furious. So in the end, we both went upstairs and tried to tidurkan Marsya. My daughter only slept at 2.30 am.

The next day was quite all right. The nasi beriani gam at the wedding was quite nice. And Bie’s relatives were nice people. Their children were very helpful. Ashraf, the son, was quite attentive with Marsya. Ira, his sister, was very accommodating. So I felt ok.

Later that day before we head back to KL, we went to Mak’s friend’s place. She was hosting a Maulidur Rasul at her place and her daughter cooked nasi beriani also. So, I ate more rice (I tell you, I felt totally fat on Sunday). Her daughter is a wonderful cook. She’s a chef at Concorde Shah Alam. After she packed us some of the beriani rice to bring with us back home, we made our way back to KL. Of course we stopped at my parents’ first for more food (see, what did I tell you about me being VERY fat on Sunday).

We only reached KL at 12 midnight. As it was quite late, Mak persuaded me to sleep over at her house. Which I did (it brought back many old memories as I stayed with her after I got married, after all, I slept in my old bedroom. The familiarity of the room was kind of nice, although my personal belongings are no longer there).

After lunch the next day, we went back home. There it was, a tiring but not TOO bad, trip down south. However, I don’t think I want to go down to JB again in the near future. Letihlah. Maybe later though…, much later.