Have you ever stood in front of your wardrobe not knowing what to wear to work? Well, I have. Truthfully, there was a time where I stood in front of my wardrobe for about an hour looking and searching for the right outfit to wear to the office the next day. It would always be, “Too tight lah this pants. Can’t wear it”, or “Tak gosok lagilah. And I am so lazy to do the ironing”, or “This pants make my butt look big”, and these comments went on and on until I have finally settled on what I wanted to wear the next day.
Last night, I did it again. I stood in front of the wardrobe and stared at all the clothes I have in there. There was an AGM on Tuesday morning and I thought I wanted to look my best. I didn’t feel like wearing my three-piece (I haven’t been wearing a three-piece in such a long time), but yet I wanted to look corporate but with a hint of leisure. So I took my brown boot cut pants (they’re office pants) and light green fitting top with dark green lines just below the bosom. And I thought, why not.
So this morning, when I went to the office, I received a lot of comments. I have to admit that if I’m dressed down, I can be a bit shabby; there are days when I don’t bother dressing up. But this morning, I received quite a few comments, which urged me to re-look at the type of clothes I have in my wardrobe.
The first comment I received was, “Nampak tembam sikitlah sekarang”, in other words, I looked slightly plumpish. I guess the fitting green top showed my extra, unnecessary curves. The other comment I received was from a female colleague. She just joined us about a month ago but she’s very friendly. She was surprised to see me and said rather loudly, “Wow, you look sexy!! I like it. You look really good”. Her comments attracted curiosity from other male colleagues, who turned their heads to look at me. I was embarrassed. She told me to take is as a compliment because she said I looked good.
At the AGM this morning, I caught sight of another colleague, whom I haven’t seen for quite a while. The first word she said when she saw me was, “Mampatnya..!!”. I’m like: Huh?? What the hell?
As I walked past a guy sitting down, Marsha (the colleague whose name is similar to my daughter’s) who was walking next to me was squeezing my arm and saying, “Gatalnya Kak Mel. That guy was looking at you from top to bottom”.
Back at the office, I know that some of my male colleagues had trouble conversing with me while at the same time, looking at my eyes and not my body. I could sense it. Thereon, I felt conscious at all eyes looking at me. Luckily, I have a jacket in the office. So whenever I was in the office, I would be wearing my jacket.
This is actually a sign. A sign that tells me fitting clothes, low cut and tight pants, and short skirts are no longer my cup of tea. I am a wife and a mother, and I still dress like I’m 20!! I can’t help it. I like the way I dress. And I don’t really find it sexy. I don’t have any revealing clothes or tank tops and spaghetti straps. I don’t have skirts, which lengths are above the knee. So, where is the sexiness? Is it because of my plumpish body? So that when I wear anything, which may be a bit fitting, people resort to calling me sexy?
Whatever it is, it’s a sign. A sign that tells me to re-look at the way I clothe, after all, I’ll be turning 30 soon… [sigh]. My dearest Bie has never dictated what I should and shouldn’t wear. His only advice is to wear loose fitting clothes, which are not so revealing at the bosom or the tummy, and if possible, avoid short skirts. He never forces me to wear a headscarf. He wants me to discover that for myself. Some discovery. I am turning 30 and I still dress like I am 20.
Hhmm… I have to do something about this. But it’s so difficult. I am so used to wearing what I have been wearing since the past 10 or 15 years. Besides, my clothes aren’t sexy. Honestly. It only becomes sexy when I put them on. And it’s only some of them.
That’s not an excuse. I know. Well, for starters, I will not be wearing this outfit to work anymore. If I do, I’ll make sure that I have a jacket with me all the time. And maybe, I will start buying loose fitting tops. Well it’s a start isn’t it? I can’t do it overnight. Let’s hope that this feeling of wanting to gradually change works its magic in me. Otherwise, it’ll just be another hot-hot chicken ‘tut’.
Last night, I did it again. I stood in front of the wardrobe and stared at all the clothes I have in there. There was an AGM on Tuesday morning and I thought I wanted to look my best. I didn’t feel like wearing my three-piece (I haven’t been wearing a three-piece in such a long time), but yet I wanted to look corporate but with a hint of leisure. So I took my brown boot cut pants (they’re office pants) and light green fitting top with dark green lines just below the bosom. And I thought, why not.
So this morning, when I went to the office, I received a lot of comments. I have to admit that if I’m dressed down, I can be a bit shabby; there are days when I don’t bother dressing up. But this morning, I received quite a few comments, which urged me to re-look at the type of clothes I have in my wardrobe.
The first comment I received was, “Nampak tembam sikitlah sekarang”, in other words, I looked slightly plumpish. I guess the fitting green top showed my extra, unnecessary curves. The other comment I received was from a female colleague. She just joined us about a month ago but she’s very friendly. She was surprised to see me and said rather loudly, “Wow, you look sexy!! I like it. You look really good”. Her comments attracted curiosity from other male colleagues, who turned their heads to look at me. I was embarrassed. She told me to take is as a compliment because she said I looked good.
At the AGM this morning, I caught sight of another colleague, whom I haven’t seen for quite a while. The first word she said when she saw me was, “Mampatnya..!!”. I’m like: Huh?? What the hell?
As I walked past a guy sitting down, Marsha (the colleague whose name is similar to my daughter’s) who was walking next to me was squeezing my arm and saying, “Gatalnya Kak Mel. That guy was looking at you from top to bottom”.
Back at the office, I know that some of my male colleagues had trouble conversing with me while at the same time, looking at my eyes and not my body. I could sense it. Thereon, I felt conscious at all eyes looking at me. Luckily, I have a jacket in the office. So whenever I was in the office, I would be wearing my jacket.
This is actually a sign. A sign that tells me fitting clothes, low cut and tight pants, and short skirts are no longer my cup of tea. I am a wife and a mother, and I still dress like I’m 20!! I can’t help it. I like the way I dress. And I don’t really find it sexy. I don’t have any revealing clothes or tank tops and spaghetti straps. I don’t have skirts, which lengths are above the knee. So, where is the sexiness? Is it because of my plumpish body? So that when I wear anything, which may be a bit fitting, people resort to calling me sexy?
Whatever it is, it’s a sign. A sign that tells me to re-look at the way I clothe, after all, I’ll be turning 30 soon… [sigh]. My dearest Bie has never dictated what I should and shouldn’t wear. His only advice is to wear loose fitting clothes, which are not so revealing at the bosom or the tummy, and if possible, avoid short skirts. He never forces me to wear a headscarf. He wants me to discover that for myself. Some discovery. I am turning 30 and I still dress like I am 20.
Hhmm… I have to do something about this. But it’s so difficult. I am so used to wearing what I have been wearing since the past 10 or 15 years. Besides, my clothes aren’t sexy. Honestly. It only becomes sexy when I put them on. And it’s only some of them.
That’s not an excuse. I know. Well, for starters, I will not be wearing this outfit to work anymore. If I do, I’ll make sure that I have a jacket with me all the time. And maybe, I will start buying loose fitting tops. Well it’s a start isn’t it? I can’t do it overnight. Let’s hope that this feeling of wanting to gradually change works its magic in me. Otherwise, it’ll just be another hot-hot chicken ‘tut’.
4 comments:
heheh. sexy IS subjective kan? i have a friend who really think that covered women are sooo sexy. of course he is a crappy weirdo. lols.
neways, if you wanna change, thats good la kot. mesti conscious ek. hehe.
well, you do look a lil bit tembam in the sban pics... hehe.
only one thing to do, either:
1. loose weight! or
2. new wardrobe
heh,heh
maie
Pah..
Yes I agree that sexy is very subjective and that male friend of yours, well.. he's a pervert... (nearly all guys are anyway) :)
I guess, ada hikmah lah kot badan tembam sikit (tembam giler yerk, pah.. arrrgghh!!) so at least biler nak pakai baju kecik2 tu, conscious sikitlah. Well, whatever it is, at one point, we need to change jugak.. at least for the better.. kan?
Maie,
New wardrobe? Well.. in time to come. The clothes still fit save for the tightness at the butt and the bosom. But loose weight..?? Now that's something I ought to be doing. Just a question, when you saw me last weekend, did I look TERRIBLY tembam..?? I'm, err.. curious, you know :P
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