Can I Still Look Hot?

Marsya isn’t here this week. She followed Maksu back to Taiping. At first, I was reluctant to let her go. I mean, I’d not be able to see her for ONE WHOLE WEEK. I’d miss her terribly. But she kept telling Maksu that she wanted to balik kampong and see Tok Nyang (Maksu’s father-in-law), ducks and chickens. She wanted to ride on the bicycle. So my heart softened. I let her go. But last Friday, I had a bonding session with her. I took her to Sunway Pyramid to buy her new shoes. And yes, she is exactly like me when it comes to shoes. She LOVES them. Hehehehe.. she tried ALL the shoes she saw on the rack (her size) and even proceeded on trying a pair of boots. And when we got to the adult shoe store, she kept on throwing all sorts of shoes for me to try on. It was fun. I could see ourselves in the future giving tips on the sort of shoes we should buy. A long way to go still, but it’s nice to think about it. Insya-Allah…

Which boils down to the next question… do you think I’m HOT? Hehehehe.. lately I don’t know why, but I feel that I’m hot. Call me perasan, but though I have two kids, I feel that I can still make heads turn. Some of my friends like to drop names like, ‘Hot Mama’ and all, to me. Calling me like that actually boosted my confidence to a higher level. I don’t feel ugly. I don’t feel fat (though I know I’ve got stuff clinging to my legs and butts called ‘fat’) I just feel that I am still hot. Oh gosh, what am I saying..??

I love high heel shoes. I like skirts (I’m trying to reduce wearing them, but give me time. At least I don’t buy new skirts anymore) and I love looking good. I’m not saying that I look drop dead georgous in them (I know my limits; I’m no Maya Karin), but I do feel good. So yes the butt part has expanded a bit these days and so have the upper part (I have to be frank don’t I) but there are ways of dressing to cover those areas. And if you have them, just flaunt them. Hehehehe..

But I still cover where I think should be covered. I try not to wear tight-fitting clothes, and revealing or plunging necklines. After all, I do have my dearest Bie to think about. I am still his wife, and I have to respect him. And my duty to the One goes without saying. Nonetheless, I am lucky that he doesn’t force me to wear head scarves or tudung after we got married. Though his mother has been harping on it for quite a while, he has never practiced his authority to enforce me to wear the tudung. I am thankful for that, unlike other husbands I know.

I know it’s not good to look extra hot when you’re married with kids and all. It’s for fear of inviting unnecessary attention to yourself. But I guess if you know what matters most, then I’m sure you will not indulge in immoral activities, right. I mean, you have the children to think about. And of course your husband. Not to mention that it’s kind a sinful (I’m not perfect here, but if possible, we wouldn’t want to open many ‘holes’ coz it would just be too many to cover. Dah tak pakai tudung tu is one ‘hole’ already. So don’t create more ‘holes’. Do you know what I mean here?

I know of someone who’s reaching 40 in two years’ time but still is one very hot mama (she has FIVE kids by the way). She wears the tudung thought (light scarf) and wears really modern clothings. Long skirts with high-heeled boots. Platform shoes with flared pants; really good. And she is pretty as well. The not so nice one is that, we feel that the young man who has been accompanying her is not her husband and that he was (or is) her boyfriend. At first we felt like giving him the benefit of the doubt. But their lovey-dovey actions were just too much for us to bear. A friend even caught them hugging (it was a spur kind of moment thing and everybody was rejoicing happily). I felt bad. I wish she hadn’t done that. In fact, I wish she wasn’t that bold. But she was. They acted like they were a couple, in front of everyone.

Now, I pray to God that I will not be like that. I love Bie and my children too much. But I guess when you’re at that age, you just get bored especially if you’ve been married a long time and your marriage life seems to have lost its entire sparks. Kind a scary isn’t it. So when another man shows an interest in you, of course you like it. And you tend to participate in the illicit affair even when you know that you shouldn’t, because it’s all just exciting. God forbids..

However, I do love the idea of being a Hot Mama. And I do love being labeled as one. But I fear that later in life, without realizing it, I may go overboard. Scary isn’t it. Yes I can say that I’ll never do that to my family, but a few years down the road, you just never know. But for now, I am just going to enjoy being one Hot Mama..