I didn’t know I have such an impact on people. I thought I was insignificant. Well, not that insignificant, but I thought, if I was feeling down, people wouldn’t notice it. But I was wrong. And I didn’t expect that people would actually be concerned.
Yesterday was the beginning of the uplifting spirit. I guess seeing my daughter for the first time in a week was really a refresher. I didn’t know that I could really miss her so much. When I walked through the door, and I saw her lying in front of the TV, and she looked up and saw that it was me who just entered, the greeting that I got from her was priceless. Her face was so happy to see me. She immediately got up and ran to hug me, smiling from ear to ear. I hugged her. Long. I kissed her cheeks, her eyes, and smelt her hair. And I didn’t let her go for quite a while. It was good. And listening to her stories on what she had been doing was very entertaining. I pray to Allah for a healthy long life so that I can see her grow up into a wonderful woman.
So yeah, Marsya’s impact was one of the things which made me feel better. And I think my dearest Bie even noticed that.
Then, a dear friend, sent a short email asking what was wrong with me, and why was it that I wasn’t as ‘ceria’ or happy as always. He was concerned because he had never seen me feeling down before. He even wanted to lend his ears to me should I want to talk. I thanked him and told him that I was fine, and that I will definitely consider him should I need to talk or anything.
And later during the day, I received a Season’s greeting card which read something like this:
“Too late for a New Year greeting… sorry we don’t have a proper CD casing.. just recycle what we have J. Enclosed is the CD / IB Blueprint which you’ve requested. Cheers, Steven”.
The funny bit was that Steven drew a ‘mudah pecah’ i.e. fragile symbol which shows a broken wine glass on the envelope. That really made me smile. The people sitting near my table was curious, wanting to know what it was that I had received. Thanks, Steven.
And on top of that, Bie took me to the movies. It had been ages since I went to the movies, the last being The Jumper. We went to see Iron Man. Yeah, I know that Iron Man has been out for ages. But for people like me who do not have the luxury to watch a new movie every time it came out (kids, logistics, etc), I looked forward to see the movie. Hhmm.. I remember the time when I never missed any new movie that came out. I didn’t have any kid at that time. I went to see ALL new movies that were released. I even watched Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Ghem AT the movies. Hehehehe..
But I like Iron Man. I like it that Robert Downey Jr played Tony Starks. He put humour in his character which was SO him. How do I know this? Because I have seen his other comedy movies, and I think he is very talented. I used to think he’s a handsome guy (though he’s short.. handsome guys are always short. Look at Tom Cruise. I guess you can’t have everything). And he beefed up his body too for the role. He had a very nice body in that movie.
And I also had a talk with my immediate supervisor this morning. I nearly broke down and cry (it was long coming. I guess because I have been bottling up the depression in my chest for more than a week now so when anyone spoke on touchy subject, I would have tears at the brim of my eyes, but the tears never fell – I had to control them coz I didn’t want to him to see me crying) or so when we talked about my salary adjustment which was actually quite little, and he was upset that the HR did not say or notify him on the matter since he was the one who recommended me for the salary adjustment. He even asked me whether I was going to accept that job offer. I told him I don’t know. But it was good that we had that talk. It made me feel better coz I was really feeling like crap last week.
So all these rolled into one made me slightly better this week, well starting from yesterday. And I hope to keep the momentum going. I really do.
Yesterday was the beginning of the uplifting spirit. I guess seeing my daughter for the first time in a week was really a refresher. I didn’t know that I could really miss her so much. When I walked through the door, and I saw her lying in front of the TV, and she looked up and saw that it was me who just entered, the greeting that I got from her was priceless. Her face was so happy to see me. She immediately got up and ran to hug me, smiling from ear to ear. I hugged her. Long. I kissed her cheeks, her eyes, and smelt her hair. And I didn’t let her go for quite a while. It was good. And listening to her stories on what she had been doing was very entertaining. I pray to Allah for a healthy long life so that I can see her grow up into a wonderful woman.
So yeah, Marsya’s impact was one of the things which made me feel better. And I think my dearest Bie even noticed that.
Then, a dear friend, sent a short email asking what was wrong with me, and why was it that I wasn’t as ‘ceria’ or happy as always. He was concerned because he had never seen me feeling down before. He even wanted to lend his ears to me should I want to talk. I thanked him and told him that I was fine, and that I will definitely consider him should I need to talk or anything.
And later during the day, I received a Season’s greeting card which read something like this:
“Too late for a New Year greeting… sorry we don’t have a proper CD casing.. just recycle what we have J. Enclosed is the CD / IB Blueprint which you’ve requested. Cheers, Steven”.
The funny bit was that Steven drew a ‘mudah pecah’ i.e. fragile symbol which shows a broken wine glass on the envelope. That really made me smile. The people sitting near my table was curious, wanting to know what it was that I had received. Thanks, Steven.
And on top of that, Bie took me to the movies. It had been ages since I went to the movies, the last being The Jumper. We went to see Iron Man. Yeah, I know that Iron Man has been out for ages. But for people like me who do not have the luxury to watch a new movie every time it came out (kids, logistics, etc), I looked forward to see the movie. Hhmm.. I remember the time when I never missed any new movie that came out. I didn’t have any kid at that time. I went to see ALL new movies that were released. I even watched Kabhi Kushi Kabhi Ghem AT the movies. Hehehehe..
But I like Iron Man. I like it that Robert Downey Jr played Tony Starks. He put humour in his character which was SO him. How do I know this? Because I have seen his other comedy movies, and I think he is very talented. I used to think he’s a handsome guy (though he’s short.. handsome guys are always short. Look at Tom Cruise. I guess you can’t have everything). And he beefed up his body too for the role. He had a very nice body in that movie.
And I also had a talk with my immediate supervisor this morning. I nearly broke down and cry (it was long coming. I guess because I have been bottling up the depression in my chest for more than a week now so when anyone spoke on touchy subject, I would have tears at the brim of my eyes, but the tears never fell – I had to control them coz I didn’t want to him to see me crying) or so when we talked about my salary adjustment which was actually quite little, and he was upset that the HR did not say or notify him on the matter since he was the one who recommended me for the salary adjustment. He even asked me whether I was going to accept that job offer. I told him I don’t know. But it was good that we had that talk. It made me feel better coz I was really feeling like crap last week.
So all these rolled into one made me slightly better this week, well starting from yesterday. And I hope to keep the momentum going. I really do.
5 comments:
Good to hear u r ok olredi, at least feel better...
Anyway, what made u think ur daughter enjoys herself more with her Maksu than with you? Mother instinct? Whatever it is, I hope u arrive to that conclusion rationally, and not fuelled by you missing her with her not around.
WIth regard to money matters, heck, we all face it sis! Like for my case, honest to God, I really want to 'cabut' from this current workplace. I won't even mind doing own business than being stuck here! But the recent price hike of oil made me think more, more than twice of my next course of action, whenever it involves money...
Thanks.. :)
I just feel that she enjoys herself more with Maksu compared to when she's with me. I don't know. I just feel it. She knows that with Maksu and Paksu, she gets to do a lot of things (go to the beach, waterfalls, funfair, naik motor keliling sana-sini, naik lrt / komuter, went to Cameron Highlands, go to the park, etc).. you know, little things that I am not able to do with her, just coz of the lack of time. All she knows when she goes out with us is go to parking (that would mean going to shopping complexes), McDonald or KFC or makan anywhere.. and that's just basically it. Sad ain't it?
I think everyone's affected by the price hike. I dont want to think about it. What used to cost me about RM60 plus for a full tank, now costs me RM105. Talk about a huge difference, now THAT is a huge difference.
Dude, it's always the case for children being raised in the urban/city neighbourhood.. they always find more things to do, see, touch and experience when they are at different places, especially if those places are rather remote like their hometowns, where they can ride bicycles care-free, play kites, see buffalos etc etc..
It's not you, it's the environment that make her feel more enjoyed whenever she's with her Maksu.. maybe, you and hubby can find the time some day, to do those things (and more) with he too.
Also, it's common for grandparents, uncles, auties etc to be more lenient towards our children and thus, they get to do things that we normally forbid (I've seen quite a number of examples). They may seem to like them more than us, but maybe for this reason only (i.e. freedom to do stuffs) and nothing more. Trust me, our children know that no one can replace their parents, Insha' Allah.
Hi Mel Ija, being a mom is a never ending song in your kid's heart of comfort, happiness and being. They may sometimes forget the words, but they always remember the tune.
Glad you are better now. Keep well and have a beautiful Sunday, best regards, Lee.
Uncle Lee,
Those are such nice words. Really nice. I like it that you said it. They may forget the lyrics, but they will always remember the tune. Nice...
Thanks.
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