Last night was another night that my daughter went berserk on me. She was screaming, crying (sampai tersedu-sedu) and didn’t want to go to sleep. Whenever she slept, she would wake up again. And that’s like for every half an hour or so. It was tiring.
She wanted breast milk, but I can’t give it to her. It was too painful. She has a lot of teeth these days and does not hesitate to use them in whichever circumstances. Therefore, I refuse to let in on her. And of course she was in fits. She screamed, refused to take the bottled milk I prepared for her and cried like as if she was in terrible, physical pain. And to make matters worse, I have been very tired lately. The past several weeks were just too much and yesterday, I had that training at NIOSH, Bangi from 9am to 5pm. So I was physically and mentally tired. Her screaming didn’t help. The fact that she didn’t want her father also wasn’t helping.
Her crying got to me. I was upset. I could feel my patience thinning and the urge to smack her little butt was at the verge of my finger tips. But I tried to control myself and recited some zikir so that I could control my temper.
Earlier that day, she was also in fits. When I disallowed her to walk outside of the house (in front of my in-laws’ house), she screamed hysterically and started to “berguling” on the floor where Bak’s kancil is parked. When I tried to pick her up, she slanted her body so that I couldn’t pick her up. And when her abi tried to pick her up, she screamed even louder. But I was quite calm. Tired that I was, I didn’t give in to anger and thus could still control my temper. But last night was just too much. It’s been going on for a while already and I am just tired of it.
And when she was crying like that, I spanked her leg. She was surprised, looked up at me and screamed even louder. I couldn’t take it. I left her on the bed, still screaming and went outside of the room. My dearest Bie went into the room and picked her up, but she refused to be picked up. I was outside, pacing the room up and down trying to recollect my better judgment. My mind felt cluttered and I couldn’t seem to think straight. I did some breathing exercise and went back to the bedroom. My dearest Bie was trying to coax her to keep quiet. And he’s not doing a good job of it. So, I picked her up from him and uttered a few “memujuk” words and went ahead to breastfeed her. I was in terrible pain, all right and couldn’t sleep much. But I don’t have a choice.
And I thought that was it, and that she’d sleep soundly and would only wake up in the morning. However, that was not to be. She woke up again at 3am and refused to go back to sleep. She took my make-up bag and started applying the lipstick on her lips and the powder on her cheeks. I was to sleepy to take notice. Luckily my dearest Bie was there to “layan” her. I woke up now and then again and at about 4.30am, Bie was just too sleepy and asked me to give Marsya her “candu”. So there I was, doing it again. Painful as it is, I didn’t have a choice. Or else, she wouldn’t go to sleep.
This morning, I woke up quite late (didn’t hear the alarm clock went off) and left the house at 7am. Usually I left around 6.30am to avoid the jam. And yes, I was stuck in a few jam [sigh] and reached my aunt’s place quite late.
Is it normal to feel this? Is it normal to feel like spanking your baby when he or she is crying loudly, practically screaming non-stop? Now I guess I can understand why certain mothers resort to abusing their children (usually those in the toddler age group) when they just couldn’t control the temper anymore thus not being very patient at all. I don’t want to be one of those mothers. We still have our faith to dictate our actions and I intend to control my temper for as long as I can. Tak naklah nanti, “Sesal dulu pendapatan. Sesal kemudian, tidak berguna” kan.
Oh Allah, please give me the strength to control my temper and shower my baby with endless love and care. Amin.
She wanted breast milk, but I can’t give it to her. It was too painful. She has a lot of teeth these days and does not hesitate to use them in whichever circumstances. Therefore, I refuse to let in on her. And of course she was in fits. She screamed, refused to take the bottled milk I prepared for her and cried like as if she was in terrible, physical pain. And to make matters worse, I have been very tired lately. The past several weeks were just too much and yesterday, I had that training at NIOSH, Bangi from 9am to 5pm. So I was physically and mentally tired. Her screaming didn’t help. The fact that she didn’t want her father also wasn’t helping.
Her crying got to me. I was upset. I could feel my patience thinning and the urge to smack her little butt was at the verge of my finger tips. But I tried to control myself and recited some zikir so that I could control my temper.
Earlier that day, she was also in fits. When I disallowed her to walk outside of the house (in front of my in-laws’ house), she screamed hysterically and started to “berguling” on the floor where Bak’s kancil is parked. When I tried to pick her up, she slanted her body so that I couldn’t pick her up. And when her abi tried to pick her up, she screamed even louder. But I was quite calm. Tired that I was, I didn’t give in to anger and thus could still control my temper. But last night was just too much. It’s been going on for a while already and I am just tired of it.
And when she was crying like that, I spanked her leg. She was surprised, looked up at me and screamed even louder. I couldn’t take it. I left her on the bed, still screaming and went outside of the room. My dearest Bie went into the room and picked her up, but she refused to be picked up. I was outside, pacing the room up and down trying to recollect my better judgment. My mind felt cluttered and I couldn’t seem to think straight. I did some breathing exercise and went back to the bedroom. My dearest Bie was trying to coax her to keep quiet. And he’s not doing a good job of it. So, I picked her up from him and uttered a few “memujuk” words and went ahead to breastfeed her. I was in terrible pain, all right and couldn’t sleep much. But I don’t have a choice.
And I thought that was it, and that she’d sleep soundly and would only wake up in the morning. However, that was not to be. She woke up again at 3am and refused to go back to sleep. She took my make-up bag and started applying the lipstick on her lips and the powder on her cheeks. I was to sleepy to take notice. Luckily my dearest Bie was there to “layan” her. I woke up now and then again and at about 4.30am, Bie was just too sleepy and asked me to give Marsya her “candu”. So there I was, doing it again. Painful as it is, I didn’t have a choice. Or else, she wouldn’t go to sleep.
This morning, I woke up quite late (didn’t hear the alarm clock went off) and left the house at 7am. Usually I left around 6.30am to avoid the jam. And yes, I was stuck in a few jam [sigh] and reached my aunt’s place quite late.
Is it normal to feel this? Is it normal to feel like spanking your baby when he or she is crying loudly, practically screaming non-stop? Now I guess I can understand why certain mothers resort to abusing their children (usually those in the toddler age group) when they just couldn’t control the temper anymore thus not being very patient at all. I don’t want to be one of those mothers. We still have our faith to dictate our actions and I intend to control my temper for as long as I can. Tak naklah nanti, “Sesal dulu pendapatan. Sesal kemudian, tidak berguna” kan.
Oh Allah, please give me the strength to control my temper and shower my baby with endless love and care. Amin.
7 comments:
i am not a mom, so tak leh comment la. u will do ok. u have always been v motherly, and i guess u were just tired la kot.
personally, i believe in disciplining the kids when they are young so that they dont go overboard as they grow up. i did smack apple's legs a few times when she repeatedly did something that she was not suppoed to. bukanla sampai sakit, i am sure it didnt hurt at all, but the action i hope will tell her that i was serious about her doing things she was not supposed to...
well, good luck :D
Thanks for the tip. I have smacked her before on her legs and what naught to teach her a lesson. But when I am angry, I try not to hit her because the hit then would be out of anger. Not to teach. But there was an incident (recently jugak), where she cried hysterically non-stop. My badan was penat that I smacked her leg quite hard. And you know lah who yang marah at me for doing that. He said I shouldn't be venting my anger by hitting her and that I should be more patient. Yeah right...
But thank you so much for the advice.
Gulp! I think every parent has to go through this hah? Gulp.. gulp... My parents said (and it's true) they never hit me at all b4. But maybe dats bcoz I was such a nicey nicey boy :)) I hope I can do the same towards my kids but time will tell rite? Your entry makes me shiver a bit la dude... about how I would react if my kid(s) out of control. Btw, how was training dat u conducted. Hope it went great..
Well, don't let my entry deter you from enjoying having a baby. It isn't always like that. It's just sometimes babies have the tendency to do that. Especially if they're not well. Don't worry lah. I'm sure you'll make a great dad. Usually dads are more penyabar compared to moms.
As for the training, it went all right, actually. I managed to do it quite well that the trainer has asked me to fill in another of his class on this 23rd September. Wish me luck :)
salam... hi there. am a mother of two kids. ur doter sounds pretty much familiar to mine hehe. had the very same prob for a couple of time. what to do... layaaann jer la. i'm a breastfeeding mother too. mebbe u can have a look at this website: http://susuibu.com. Usually visited by bf mothers all over M'sia. There, u can find all sorts of experiences & what not. Just type in the 'search' column and it will direct u to the appropriate forum. alternatively, just surf all the forums' subheading available & mebbe u can find the answer to many parenting issues. hv fun!
Hi Shiha. Thanks for dropping by. I guess when they're at a certain age, AND they're breastfeeding, when they don't get it, they'll be in terrible fits that there's just no way to stop them.. [sigh].. But thank you for the tip. Will definitely visit the website you mentioned.
Hi, just wondering - are you and masleena@UEMLAND.com the same person? Macam confuse plak.. hehe
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