I took leave last Friday as Thursday was a public holiday. So that gave me a good four days of rest. Or was it?
I thought I was going to get a good rest. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I did spend time with my daughter (loved those moments) and my parents. But my brothers weren’t around. And on Friday, my dearest Bie went to JB on a business trip. He got back late Saturday.
Somehow I was looking forward to spend the long weekend at my parents’ but when I am there, I felt emotionally drained. I felt tired. I don’t know where the source of the tiredness is. It could be physical (I doubt so much on that) or it could be mental. I don’t know. But somehow, the long weekend didn’t feel like a break at all. I mean, what did I just do? I went to JJ in S2 on Thursday. I had lunch with my Ayah. My Ibu wasn’t around. I think she went to Malacca a few days before and hadn’t reached home yet. I bought a few maternity pants there and had lunch at Secret Recipe. Later that night, we had dinner outside; the whole family and it wasn’t a satisfactory dinner because the ‘kedai’ was late with our food.
The next day, we had brunch at McDonald and a friend picked Bie up while on his way to JB. So I was left with my daughter. We went to Acik’s house for a visit then got back to the house, rested for a while and had a really late lunch. Ibu was off again doing her personal matter while Ayah had appointment outside. I was left with Marsya alone in the house. Luckily she slept quite early that day. So I took the opportunity to see The Devil Wears Prada. Quite a good movie. I liked it.
The next day was just like any other day. Ayah asked me to accompany him to Giant to buy some household products. Ibu had to go to Malacca again. When we got home, Ibu was already home, cooking lunch. And the evening was just like any other evening. Bie came back also with a tired look on his face. He had some really big issues which needed to be thrashed out. He discussed them with me. That left me feeling somewhat disoriented.
By Sunday, I felt REALLY tired. By this time, physically AND mentally. I wish I had gone somewhere. But no, I didn’t. I need to spend some time alone at a new place. Well, not exactly alone, but with my loved ones. I don’t wish to dwell on this but I do. And when I think about it further, I become more tired. I pity my little one; both the one in front of me and the one inside my belly. My baby does not need to feel all the stress that I am facing right now. Do you think it’ll feel MY stress? I hope not. Kalau tak, kesian dia… pening. I was so tired and stressed yesterday that I snapped at my dearest Bie. I couldn’t help it. So yeah, I was mad at him and he was mad at me. We tried to keep quiet about it (after the stressed snapping moment); him entertaining his mind, I suppose while I gained my composure. I can’t help it. When I’m tired, I do that a lot. I know that Bie was tired also as he just got back from JB, but I just couldn’t help myself. I was on the verge of loosing it yesterday [sigh]. I hate it.
Today is a start of a new week. I’ll have to make it up to Bie tonight. Well, I have apologized. I sent him a text message saying I was sorry. So tonight, I’ll do it verbally. We both didn’t bring up the subject after that awkward moment yesterday but I know that deep at the bottom of my heart, we have to talk about it. Get it out in the open. I’ll do it tonight; definitely. We were both tired and I guess yesterday was the peak of it.
Letihnya…
I thought I was going to get a good rest. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I did spend time with my daughter (loved those moments) and my parents. But my brothers weren’t around. And on Friday, my dearest Bie went to JB on a business trip. He got back late Saturday.
Somehow I was looking forward to spend the long weekend at my parents’ but when I am there, I felt emotionally drained. I felt tired. I don’t know where the source of the tiredness is. It could be physical (I doubt so much on that) or it could be mental. I don’t know. But somehow, the long weekend didn’t feel like a break at all. I mean, what did I just do? I went to JJ in S2 on Thursday. I had lunch with my Ayah. My Ibu wasn’t around. I think she went to Malacca a few days before and hadn’t reached home yet. I bought a few maternity pants there and had lunch at Secret Recipe. Later that night, we had dinner outside; the whole family and it wasn’t a satisfactory dinner because the ‘kedai’ was late with our food.
The next day, we had brunch at McDonald and a friend picked Bie up while on his way to JB. So I was left with my daughter. We went to Acik’s house for a visit then got back to the house, rested for a while and had a really late lunch. Ibu was off again doing her personal matter while Ayah had appointment outside. I was left with Marsya alone in the house. Luckily she slept quite early that day. So I took the opportunity to see The Devil Wears Prada. Quite a good movie. I liked it.
The next day was just like any other day. Ayah asked me to accompany him to Giant to buy some household products. Ibu had to go to Malacca again. When we got home, Ibu was already home, cooking lunch. And the evening was just like any other evening. Bie came back also with a tired look on his face. He had some really big issues which needed to be thrashed out. He discussed them with me. That left me feeling somewhat disoriented.
By Sunday, I felt REALLY tired. By this time, physically AND mentally. I wish I had gone somewhere. But no, I didn’t. I need to spend some time alone at a new place. Well, not exactly alone, but with my loved ones. I don’t wish to dwell on this but I do. And when I think about it further, I become more tired. I pity my little one; both the one in front of me and the one inside my belly. My baby does not need to feel all the stress that I am facing right now. Do you think it’ll feel MY stress? I hope not. Kalau tak, kesian dia… pening. I was so tired and stressed yesterday that I snapped at my dearest Bie. I couldn’t help it. So yeah, I was mad at him and he was mad at me. We tried to keep quiet about it (after the stressed snapping moment); him entertaining his mind, I suppose while I gained my composure. I can’t help it. When I’m tired, I do that a lot. I know that Bie was tired also as he just got back from JB, but I just couldn’t help myself. I was on the verge of loosing it yesterday [sigh]. I hate it.
Today is a start of a new week. I’ll have to make it up to Bie tonight. Well, I have apologized. I sent him a text message saying I was sorry. So tonight, I’ll do it verbally. We both didn’t bring up the subject after that awkward moment yesterday but I know that deep at the bottom of my heart, we have to talk about it. Get it out in the open. I’ll do it tonight; definitely. We were both tired and I guess yesterday was the peak of it.
Letihnya…
2 comments:
*hugs*
Hugs to you too..
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