Lots To Tell

I have been very busy lately. What with work (I think my bosses do not realize that I am actually in my final days of my trimester), stuff at home and other personal matters. But yes, work has been stressing me out. We’re trying to complete this deal with this ‘big-headed’ agency, and my God.. the difficulty of it is just stressing me out. I don’t even want to go there.

Apart from that, I still got sent to attend business seminars and all. Which is very interesting really because on the day that the seminar was held at the Sheraton Subang, I managed to get two free secretarial week luncheon tickets from my faourite radio station, Traxx FM to see Adibah Noor perform live at the Legend Hotel. Of course I did the unthinkable. I told my colleagues that I had to attend the seminar, when for actual fact, I went to the Legend Hotel to enjoy myself. It was really a stress-relief. The foods were good and the performance was fantastic. I actually had a good time. But when I got back to the office the next day, the stress appeared again. Out of nowhere. It was bugging me. But the best part was that, EVERYONE thought I attended the business seminar.

Anyhow, at home things are also quite fast-paced. My brother is getting engaged this Saturday. Yes, to the girlfriend whom I have been telling about. But, I’m actually ok with the idea now. So are my parents, I think. Well, what made me acceptable to the fact that they’re getting engaged is because the girlfriend has now started working (Alhamdulillah for that) at this quite well-known company providing company, legal & secretarial services. Good for her. And my brother also has another job offer (which salary is higher than mine) and he’s hoping to get his current company to counter-offer. If his company wouldn’t counter-offer, he would take up the job offer. That’s also good for him.

My dearest Bie has also been busy doing his stuff. So he’s always busy, going to the office even when it’s a holiday. I guess when you’re working on your own, holidays or no holidays, work still has to go on. He’s also been stressed lately. And as a result, his weight has dropped. Let’s just say that I now weigh more than him by 2 kg..!! How depressing is that.

Marsya has also been very active lately. She talks now. She sings and she dances. And it’s like as if she knows that a new baby is on the way because she’s been very sensitive lately. I can’t reprimand her or anything because she would have tears in her eyes and start wailing. And if I don’t take the time to calm her down, she would continue to cry until her eyes are all swollen. I feel so much love for her at the moment. Kasihan also at the fact that when the new baby comes, she wouldn’t be able to bermanja with me like she used to. Oh, and she makes time to talk to the new baby these days. Whenever she sees my bulging tummy, she would pat it and start talking to it. It really is kind of sweet.

As for me, I’m in my 38th week now. My tummy dah jatuh. Well, that’s what the majority of people I meet say and that I will deliver any time now. I don’t know. But yes, I do feel that my tummy is now like a huge bag of lead. Getting up after sitting down for quite a while can be a very challenging task. My feet are still swollen. The fact that it wouldn’t reduce to its normal size is bugging me. I have sharp pains in my back from time to time and I walk like a baby elephant. Swaying from side to side to cater for my big tummy. I sweat a lot too these days. The hot weather has not been helping. The fact that I don’t have air-conditioners at home bugs me. I am also easily irritable these days. I get angry very fast. My patience is quite short-lived. I get irritated with nearly everything.

And just because of that, I became stressed last weekend. The stress came about from a mixture of everything. From my tired body to everything that I find irritating. My dearest Bie’s antics, my brother’s ever panicky trait when he sees that things are not yet prepared for his engagement this Saturday, my Ayah’s constant reminders and questions on my brother’s engagement and other stuff (which got me irritated at some point or another), my Ibu’s endless personal errands, taking care of Marsya, and all that made me burst last Saturday that I just walked out of the house. I took the car key soon after Maghrib, told my dearest Bie to take care of Marsya and drove off. I only got back at 11pm that night.

I didn’t know where to go. I just drove to the city centre and as I approached the Seremban bus terminal, I called a dear friend and we arranged to meet at McDonald at the new Tesco. It was good. We talked. I got it all out of my system. I could see the steam of anger evaporated into thin air. It was really good. Surprisingly, my dearest Bie didn’t call. My Ayah called though; twice. He was worried that I just drove off into the night without telling anyone where I went. Thanks Pah. It was good to talk that night.

When I got home, my dearest Bie and I talked. I told him all the stuff that I’m not happy with especially where it concerns him. He also poured out his feelings to me. We managed to talk it out. He told me what was bugging him which I didn’t know about, and I guess the talk made me understand some of his actions. It was good talking to him.

So there, lots of stuff to tell, but no time to tell it. But yes, I am heading to B***** this Saturday, if I haven’t delivered yet and pray to Allah that if I do deliver, the baby will be fine and that there’ll be no complications at all, for both me and the baby. I really hope that things will be alright, Insya Allah.