Don’t Know What To Say

Have you ever felt that sometimes it’s just so tiring to listen to people’s problems? I mean, yeah you listen to it but the person who’s telling you seems to think that you’re on their side while the other party thinks that you’re actually on their side. I mean, there are limits to it and I think I’m tired of the whole thing already. But since both parties matter to you, you just can’t walk away. So you just sit there and listen.

Well personally, I am tired of it. But I can’t say no, nor can I just walk off and ignore that things didn’t happen. Because they did. And I guess, it will continue to happen for quite a while more. I don’t know what to do. I’m at loss. Lucky for me, when I don’t want to listen I can just go off and do things, which they can’t say no to.

The problem at hand may actually be the size of a peanut, but if not taken care of sooner, can grow into the size of a… I don’t know, a huge beach ball, perhaps. I do so badly want to solve it; get it all out in the open but I can’t. I still have to respect certain people and certain parties. It’s all very tiring really. I don’t know how long I can actually tolerate the whole thing. I am tired. Tired of having to make amends and excuses trying to cover them up. So that others can’t see right through them.

I don’t know what to call this. It’s not really a burden, but it is definitely something to ponder on. If it isn’t cured here and then, goodness knows what’s going to happen. Others may view it as non-problematic. They may even think that I’m making fuss over nothing. And that I’m the one who’s dramatic. But I can’t help it. The others do not go through what I have to go through. They don’t carry this burden on their shoulders. I do. I’m also very scared. And whenever I have the chance, I pray that Allah will light our way and not let us walk blindly in the dark.