I started the day cursing and swearing, all because of a presentation slides which we are hoping to use for one of the conferences held by the bank for this coming Monday. Many things pissed me off. I have ran out of all Malay and English jargons when indulging in the cursing session this morning. You know how you have put so much effort in a task, getting other people to assist you, putting in all sorts of information which you think the boss might want, which is not an easy process considering information gathering is one very tedious task; easy, but very tedious. But by the end of the day, the boss throws it back to your face and say, “What a load of crap is this?”… I mean, I know I’m not supposed to be complaining. After all, we have to learn to manage our bosses. But the presentation slides were prepared on the instruction by the MD that we needed to do a complete overhaul on the current presentation because it does not portray information that the analysts and market researchers need. So that was my line of thought. Noted that we are given less than an hour to present, yes.. I know that, but if you don’t like some of the slides, then take them out. As easy as that.
I don’t really know who to blame. I know my bigger boss is not aware of this instruction for complete overhaul. Whereas my small boss has not been looking into this as much because he simply didn’t have the time. So he relied on me. But I messed up. I did something which was not in line with what the bigger boss wants. He said, “It’s too much info. I don’t want this. Do something about it”, to the smaller boss. And now we need to do another overhaul so to speak in time for tomorrow as the MD and the bigger boss will not be in the office tomorrow. To make matters worse, the bigger boss has very sharp eyes, “The map is wrong. This is not where it’s supposed to be located”, or “Why is this map distorted? Why aren’t these tables aligned?” What my colleagues do not understand is that this bigger boss is very meticulous in this sort of things. I am fussy and meticulous too. But my younger colleagues are not so much. So when the bigger boss complains, the ones that get an earful are the smaller boss and me. I’m tired of having to be very meticulous all the time when others are not like that. A recent example being, I was reviewing a report done by this one executive, and oh my God.. I had to review the report for FIVE times before I decided to release it to the bigger boss for his review, knowing the bigger boss’ style of doing things. But this young executive did not understand. He just thought that I was being fussy for no reason. I was commenting on the presentation of his information. And that did not include the flow of information as well as the explanation involved, which basically I had to redo! I mean, what’s the point of me telling him to do it if by the end of the day, I had to do it myself? I was grasping for breaths of air when reviewing his report. I couldn’t stand at him not being meticulous, detailed and vigilant. The fact that he did not take into account my comment (the same comment I had throughout my review of his report for the FIVE times) but insisted that he did, angers me. If you’re wrong, then you’re wrong. I have proof that you didn’t take my comments into account, then live with it! Just accept it and embrace it. But no, he had to deny it and claimed that he was right. God… the nerve.
I guess it’s the hormones, currently flying everywhere. But I have to admit that this week is just not my week. Starting from Tuesday where I got stood up for a meeting. I am a little mad at that. The fact that made me mad was that, there was no offer of an explanation on the reason for not attending. Not to mention that my calls were not taken. But I try to be professional about it and try not to think so much on that. Humans make mistake… [sigh], I suppose.
Then there were just so many personal things that cropped up too. I’m not really bothered to update them here. Suffice to say, I am just so mad at everyone at the moment. And worried about Marsya not receiving the letter from the Kementerian. Did she get the offer? Or is she rejected from entering Standard One. I need a back-up plan if she’s rejected. Should I send her back to her old kindgarten, or go to another pre-school… I don’t know. Then there’s the issue of my brother-in-law getting married. Why the hell did he just put my mobile number and Bie’s on the invitation card? Why isn’t there a house number there? Why aren’t my older brother-in-law’s number there? I mean, I’m already on my 8th month of pregnancy. I don’t think I’d like to be taking calls from complete strangers who are interested in knowing more about the wedding, or its venue or anything related to the wedding. I mean, come on… don’t just rely on my husband. He could have put his number there, but he didn’t and I don’t understand why. That really pissed me off as well. I know I’ve been nice and if I’m not happy with certain turn of events, I don’t simply ‘tembak’ like my other sister, but I have patience too. Please don’t test my patience. Whatever it is, I am only doing this for Bie.
See what I tell you about my hormones flying around? And getting mad at everyone? Well, yeah.. that’s just me at the moment. I can’t help it. Frankly speaking, I have actually managed to reduce my cursing habits, and it’s been quite a while now, about 2 years or so. But these days, Allah is really testing MY patience, and I find myself resorting to the old habit. Not very good at all and I have to stop this. No cursing. No swearing. I promise.
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