Life without Aini has its pros and cons. On the one hand, I somehow treasure my privacy. I am free to wear and do whatever I want without the worry that she may emerge from her room. But on the other hand, I am a little tired, having to wake up a little early to prepare Marsya’s breakfast (and Bie’s breakfast for that matter) as well as prepare her packed food. Lately she seems to like roti canai and sausages. So I cooked them for her and put them in her little food bag. Afterwards, I would take my morning shower and ask Bie to monitor Marsya’s morning shower. All her clothes are ready the minute she walked out of the bathroom. Whilst everyone eats their breakfast, I would hang the recently washed clothes (if any) and pack the clothes that I should bring to my in-laws, as Marsya is stationed there after school. When I get back, I need to sort out my laundry and iron the clothes. I have been eating dinner at my in-laws (somehow they want us to dine there) so haven’t been cooking dinner at home yet; maybe next week.
But the one thing that makes me sad is that I had to send Raqib to stay with my parents in Seremban. That was a very difficult thing for me to do. I have never been away from him. And he too has never been away from me. On the morning that Ibu came to fetch Raqib, he woke up early in the morning, crying, looking for me while repeatedly saying, “Adik sayang Umi”.. (Raqib loves Umi), then he hugged me tightly. That brought me to my tears. I returned the hug and told him that I love him very much. It was like as if he knew that I was going to send him away to stay with my parents. He asked me to talk to him (meaning, call him if he stays with his Uwan) and told me not to forget him. How could I not cry to that. He was only 3 years old, but he seemed to understand the predicament that I was in. The night before, as I was packing his clothes, I was crying. For every little thing that I put in the bag, I had tears falling like rain. It was a terrible feeling. I hated it.
Gosh.. it was a mentally-torturing start of a week for me. Starting with the fact that I have to send my son away and also learning that my cousin passed away due to a motor accident; were just too much for me. My eyes were puffy from too much crying. And the fact that I was tired as I had to do the chores that Aini usually does for me, was all just too much. I was emotionally distressed and on the verge of a breakdown. It was terrible. But I slowly picked myself up, and come the next day (after reciting the Yassin that night), I felt a lot better. So much better. Still tired, but I have come to terms with the fact that Raqib doesn’t stay with me, and that I have to do chores at home. And today is Friday. I’m looking forward to go back to Seremban after work today. I get to see my son, and sleep with him tonight. I get to hug him and stroke his hair, telling him that everything was alright. I am so looking forward to that.
As for Aini, she calls me every other day (well, she miscalled me, so I had to return the call); mostly to talk to Raqib. She missed him terribly and just wanted to hear his voice. So yeah, there is attachment there. And though she has gone back to Lombok, we’re still connected. Even Ibu gave her a call a few nights ago. She was happy that Ibu called. Hhmm.. I wonder whether she’ll come back to us. Still too early to say.
On an unrelated development, I have finally confronted a dear friend about him leaving the company (yeah, I updated a post on this a few weeks ago). I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t act like as if nothing happened. I was mad at first because he didn’t tell me. But the anger just turned into a huge disappointment. I was upset because he didn’t make the effort to tell me. But I got that out of my system now and I have never felt so relieved. I called him this morning and immediately blurted out my disappointment. He was shocked alright. Didn’t expect to be ‘attacked’ quite so early in the morning. But I was determined to get it out of my system. And I am thankful that I did it. So as a peace offering, he gave me a nasi lemak for lunch. Home-made. His mother cooked it. And it was truly my rezeki, because it was delicious. I enjoyed it very much. So yeah, now we’re back on speaking terms. Alhamdulillah…
On another unrelated matter, a close friend of mine, Lin is leaving for Doha tonight. I will be sending her off at KLIA. So, immediately after work, I will go to KLIA, then off to Seremban I go to see my son. I am going to miss Lin. Yes we don’t talk everyday. But she will always be close to my heart. I’ve been friends with her for more than 2 decades!! Imagine that. We were in 1 Intan at Sek. Men. Convent Seremban back then. She was this nerdy, curly-haired girl. Her nose was always into story books (romance with lots of action if you know what I mean). So yeah, I am definitely going to miss her. And the fact that she will only come back in April next year is so disheartening. I would have had my baby till then. Well, I hope she’ll do well in Doha.
Can’t wait to go back to Seremban!!
No comments:
Post a Comment