I went back to Seremban over the weekends to have Iftar with the family. I love it whenever I go back there during Ramadhan. Ayah would buy all sorts of food; interesting ones, appetizing ones and most of the time, too much (yes, sometimes Ibu would bicker about the amount spent on the foods and how later they would all be wasted), but these days I think Ayah has improved quite a lot. He still buys foods, but in moderation. It’s fun going to Pasar Ramadhan with him and I think Marsya knows that (she can twist her Atuk at her little finger.. easily. Nak buat camner? First grandchild).
Anyway, yes.. it was nice to go back. It felt comfortable. I guess, after being married for 6 years and having two kids, I just miss that ‘homey’ feeling. I’m not saying that my current home isn’t ‘homey’. It is, but once in a while, especially during Ramadhan, I just felt like wanting to be that young girl again. The girl whom Ayah picked up at the bus station on late Friday afternoons where later, that girl and Ayah would go to Pasar Ramadhan together and buy all sorts of foods and goodies, varieties of kuih-muih, yong tau foo, rojak Singapore, roti john, murtabak… [sigh].. the memories are just so comforting.
Last weekend was no different, except that now I have two kids with me.
Anyway, enough about these memories. Last night, I had a short conversation with Ibu. We were in the car heading towards Acik’s house after terawih. Acik wanted to see my kids (she missed them) and she had bought Raqib a Baju Melayu. A bit big for him (who am I kidding.. IT IS big for him), but I think he looks cute in it. She told me that she’s worried about my dearest Bie. She wanted him to get a proper job. She felt that the current political scenario these days are not conducive for anyone who wanted to start up a construction company especially if you don’t have anough capital or have the right contact. Besides, current contacts will ensure that they’re ‘full first’ before considering others. I kept quiet. I don’t know whether I should be defensive or agree with her. She further said that as a mother, she feels for me. She feels for the kids. She doesn’t want me to endure any hardship. It’s enough that things were difficult for the family when my brothers and I were little, so now she doesn’t want to see me encountering such difficulty.
I guess I was a little defensive last night. I told her that things are ok. And that Bie does help out. At least I don’t have to pay the monthly house instalments or pay the bills. Bie ensures that all those things are paid for. He does get money from some of the miscellanous things that he’s doing, except that he needs to save wherever necessary coz he will not be getting paid on a monthly basis. Ibu said she understands, but she is still worried. She wants me to consider a proper job for Bie. A job with a salary on a monthly basis.
I don’t how how to react to this. I want Bie to be successful at what he’s doing. He’s been on it for a year and a half now and I don’t want to see all efforts gone to waste. I guess luck is just not on his side yet. But I don’t know. I’m ok now with the whole idea. I am emotionally accepting it. But Ibu and perhaps also some other people i.e. my brothers, aunts, and/or uncles may not be keen to the idea anymore. I don’t know. But I know Ibu is worried. She wishes that Bie considers on getting a proper job. I don’t know what to think.
Before we got off from the car, Ibu told me not to be ‘kecik hati’ or feel disheartened. She’s saying it coz she loves me. She can’t bear to see me endure any hardship or difficulty. I completely understand that. I’m her daughter. What mother wants to see her child in problems? I told her that I’m ok with it, though inside I felt a little sad. Sad at… I don’t know what. I am not angry with Ibu. She has every right to say those things. But I don’t think I should be angry at Bie as well. He has his dreams and wishes to see those dreams being fulfilled. I guess now he knows that it’s not easy to start up something. It requires a lot of patience, persevarence and tolerance. I am really at a crossroad. I still want to support Bie to accomplish whatever he intends to do. But I don’t want to ignore Ibu’s advice totally. I think I’m still able to support Bie (financially and mentally… hopefully), but the question is, till when? Ayah hasn’t said anything. My brothers haven’t said anything. My parents-in-laws haven’t been saying anything (if they do, I don’t think they’d discuss it with me). No one has said anything to me except for Ibu. And I don’t think I should ignore that.
Yesterday, while in the car heading towards Rembau to buy foods for Iftar (I know.. a bit too far to buy our juadah berbuka puasa, but Ayah likes to take drives before Iftar, and that was how we ended up in Rembau), Bie told expressed his tiredness at what he’s doing. There seems to be nothing and he was just tired of it. He even thought of ‘burying’ GSSB (his company). I felt sad for him. I remember him being all eager when he first wanted to set up. He came up with a variety of names for his company, and even came up with his own logo, which I think is very nice. It’s like as if there are three persons holding up something (a ball or something); together. The three persons represent himself and his two partners. But now, Bie seems to be the only person holding up that ball. His two other partners have long gone.
I don’t what to do. What should I do? I really hope to get answers soon. I hope Allah will help me clear my head on this..
Anyway, yes.. it was nice to go back. It felt comfortable. I guess, after being married for 6 years and having two kids, I just miss that ‘homey’ feeling. I’m not saying that my current home isn’t ‘homey’. It is, but once in a while, especially during Ramadhan, I just felt like wanting to be that young girl again. The girl whom Ayah picked up at the bus station on late Friday afternoons where later, that girl and Ayah would go to Pasar Ramadhan together and buy all sorts of foods and goodies, varieties of kuih-muih, yong tau foo, rojak Singapore, roti john, murtabak… [sigh].. the memories are just so comforting.
Last weekend was no different, except that now I have two kids with me.
Anyway, enough about these memories. Last night, I had a short conversation with Ibu. We were in the car heading towards Acik’s house after terawih. Acik wanted to see my kids (she missed them) and she had bought Raqib a Baju Melayu. A bit big for him (who am I kidding.. IT IS big for him), but I think he looks cute in it. She told me that she’s worried about my dearest Bie. She wanted him to get a proper job. She felt that the current political scenario these days are not conducive for anyone who wanted to start up a construction company especially if you don’t have anough capital or have the right contact. Besides, current contacts will ensure that they’re ‘full first’ before considering others. I kept quiet. I don’t know whether I should be defensive or agree with her. She further said that as a mother, she feels for me. She feels for the kids. She doesn’t want me to endure any hardship. It’s enough that things were difficult for the family when my brothers and I were little, so now she doesn’t want to see me encountering such difficulty.
I guess I was a little defensive last night. I told her that things are ok. And that Bie does help out. At least I don’t have to pay the monthly house instalments or pay the bills. Bie ensures that all those things are paid for. He does get money from some of the miscellanous things that he’s doing, except that he needs to save wherever necessary coz he will not be getting paid on a monthly basis. Ibu said she understands, but she is still worried. She wants me to consider a proper job for Bie. A job with a salary on a monthly basis.
I don’t how how to react to this. I want Bie to be successful at what he’s doing. He’s been on it for a year and a half now and I don’t want to see all efforts gone to waste. I guess luck is just not on his side yet. But I don’t know. I’m ok now with the whole idea. I am emotionally accepting it. But Ibu and perhaps also some other people i.e. my brothers, aunts, and/or uncles may not be keen to the idea anymore. I don’t know. But I know Ibu is worried. She wishes that Bie considers on getting a proper job. I don’t know what to think.
Before we got off from the car, Ibu told me not to be ‘kecik hati’ or feel disheartened. She’s saying it coz she loves me. She can’t bear to see me endure any hardship or difficulty. I completely understand that. I’m her daughter. What mother wants to see her child in problems? I told her that I’m ok with it, though inside I felt a little sad. Sad at… I don’t know what. I am not angry with Ibu. She has every right to say those things. But I don’t think I should be angry at Bie as well. He has his dreams and wishes to see those dreams being fulfilled. I guess now he knows that it’s not easy to start up something. It requires a lot of patience, persevarence and tolerance. I am really at a crossroad. I still want to support Bie to accomplish whatever he intends to do. But I don’t want to ignore Ibu’s advice totally. I think I’m still able to support Bie (financially and mentally… hopefully), but the question is, till when? Ayah hasn’t said anything. My brothers haven’t said anything. My parents-in-laws haven’t been saying anything (if they do, I don’t think they’d discuss it with me). No one has said anything to me except for Ibu. And I don’t think I should ignore that.
Yesterday, while in the car heading towards Rembau to buy foods for Iftar (I know.. a bit too far to buy our juadah berbuka puasa, but Ayah likes to take drives before Iftar, and that was how we ended up in Rembau), Bie told expressed his tiredness at what he’s doing. There seems to be nothing and he was just tired of it. He even thought of ‘burying’ GSSB (his company). I felt sad for him. I remember him being all eager when he first wanted to set up. He came up with a variety of names for his company, and even came up with his own logo, which I think is very nice. It’s like as if there are three persons holding up something (a ball or something); together. The three persons represent himself and his two partners. But now, Bie seems to be the only person holding up that ball. His two other partners have long gone.
I don’t what to do. What should I do? I really hope to get answers soon. I hope Allah will help me clear my head on this..
5 comments:
You know how I feel about this =) May Allah bless us all with patience and clarity of mind.
Hugs.
U guys shud sit down and let him list down the pros and cons including his preferences. Then u can take it from there. He cud get a monthly salary job and at the same time he still can work on his business. Just get a job that doesnt require too much commitment all the time. Or get a job again and lepas dah jumpa apa yg dia nak, let him decide. Kumpul networks, ideas, strategies and so on.
The ball is in his court. Another thing that one shud also learn is that its better to work with professional colleagues and not old frens or whoever those chummy buddies. Better to do business with those who shares the same passion on those projects without getting too personal on some issues irrelevant or biasa la kawan2 suka buat excuses and all.
Kerja sendiri memang la best, but kena la bersedia applying more and more loans, panjat office kementerian sana-sini, hunting projects and so on. Masa untung tu, Tuhan jer la tau the JOY he wud feel. Lagi best bila kita la the boss!
Mcm my cousin tu la...skang dah millionaire (kot) dah senang, anak pon ramai (11 org). Dulu mmg teruk juga la lagi la dgn wife tak kerja. And he was an electrical engineering graduate from london.
Pah,
Thanks dear, for the wish and prayer. I am still hoping to treat you Gurls at Italiannies using my credit card on the day he makes his second million.. :)
Manal,
Thanks for your advise. Will definitely consider them. I know about working with buddies, and I guess he knows too. But they had wanted to tap into each other's expertise. So there.. but yeah, it was a lesson well learnt. Thanks again.
i feel for you. my parents are against my relationship with my bf coz he's a contractor, and my parents think all contractors will meet brankruptcy because many of their friends already gulung tikar.
nak defend him pun susah. nak make my parents understand pun susah.
Hi I-Lyn,
Susahkan..?? I dont know what to say, or do. But as a wife, I have to support him I guess and hope that he'll make his big break soon. Hopefully real soon..
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