A dear friend recently had her cyst removed. She discovered the cyst which was located in her ovary, about a month ago, and at that point in time, the doctor said it measured about 4 cm. She was depressed. She had a similar cyst removal operation about eight months ago. And she didn’t expect for another one to grow in such a very short notice. Having such operations were nothing new to her. The first surgery she had for such removal was when she was thirteen. And now, she is living only on one ovary. Including the recent surgery, she’s had five operations to remove cysts.
She just got married last December. Her ultimate goal in life is to get pregnant, as she so terrible wanted to hold a baby in her arms. So when she missed her period for about a couple of days, she did the test and found out that she was pregnant. She was happy. She looked forward to be pregnant. She knew that she had that cyst in her ovary, but she was hoping that the cyst would somehow reduce in size and disappear. But a few days after that, she had blood stains. And they continued to flow out bit by bit. She was worried, so she went to her doctor to see what she could do about saving the pregnancy. The doctor was surprised that she was pregnant. The doctor had wanted to sort out the cyst first, but now with a baby on the way, she couldn’t do anything.
The doctor gave her a week of medical leave and asked her to rest because the likelihood of her having a miscarriage is very high at this point of time. So she took leave. She stayed at home and took all reasonable steps to take care of this very early pregnancy. She sought advice on the sort of supplements to take and also proceeded on wanting to buy Anmum; anything to keep the baby growing in her healthy.
But on the Friday, she was having cramps in her tummy, like one of those period cramps. And later that day, she felt it. She went to check on herself and found that the amount of blood was a lot more than the normal stains she had been having. “This is not happening. It couldn’t be it”. She refused to seek doctor’s advice until her sister pestered her into doing so. So she went to the nearest clinic to see a regular doctor. The doctor scanned her stomach and informed her that her stomach was empty. There seemed to be nothing there. She couldn’t believe her ears. She repeatedly asked the doctor to check and scan again. The doctor did, and still the same anwer was given. She cried. Devastated by what the doctor said. But she had hope. She would go to her doctor, the specialist, the one she went to, to remove her cyst. She will get a second opinion.
Later that night, she met with her doctor. The doctor scanned her again. This time using the contraption that had to be inserted into the uterus, normally used in the very early pregnancy as the normal scanner would not be able to scan a newly-formed life. The truth pained her. The doctor confirmed that there was no baby. She had had a miscarriage and it was best that she undergo a D&C. To make matters worst, the doctor suggested that she undergo another operation to remove the cyst currently in her ovary. She was despaired. Distraught at the fact that she was no longer pregnant and the doctor’s suggestion for the operation did not help. It was just too overwhelming.
She couldn’t think. She was upset. She was sad. Her husband shared her sorrows. After numerous phone calls seeking advice from everyone she knew, on Saturday, she was wheeled into the operation theatre. The cyst was removed.
I received her text message telling me that she was sad on Sunday. I tried calling her, but her husband said she was asleep. She was on epidural so that the pain can be alleviated. So the following Monday, I went to the hospital to visit her. She looked alright. Not in pain or anything, thanks for the epidural which was constantly injected at the back of her spine. But she also looked very sad. She was upset that her stomach was now flatter, and she resented seeing another colleague of ours who was pregnant. The pregnant colleague also came to visit her. I didn’t say much. I wouldn’t want to give her headaches or anything. She received a lot of advices from those who came to visit. But I couldn’t make myself say much. I was just there so that I could give her emotional support. The loss was terrible for her. But when most of them had left, I talked to her, and told her to be patient and consider this as no luck and not rezeki. And that who knows, she might even be pregnant with twins. She looked dejected. And I didn’t know what else to say.
Before I left, I kissed her forehead and told her to get well. I told her not to think about getting pregnant. Allah works in mysterious ways and who knows what luck holds in for her.
She is still on medical leave. Her depression is now over and now she is concentrating on getting well. Let’s all pray for her well-being, ok.
She just got married last December. Her ultimate goal in life is to get pregnant, as she so terrible wanted to hold a baby in her arms. So when she missed her period for about a couple of days, she did the test and found out that she was pregnant. She was happy. She looked forward to be pregnant. She knew that she had that cyst in her ovary, but she was hoping that the cyst would somehow reduce in size and disappear. But a few days after that, she had blood stains. And they continued to flow out bit by bit. She was worried, so she went to her doctor to see what she could do about saving the pregnancy. The doctor was surprised that she was pregnant. The doctor had wanted to sort out the cyst first, but now with a baby on the way, she couldn’t do anything.
The doctor gave her a week of medical leave and asked her to rest because the likelihood of her having a miscarriage is very high at this point of time. So she took leave. She stayed at home and took all reasonable steps to take care of this very early pregnancy. She sought advice on the sort of supplements to take and also proceeded on wanting to buy Anmum; anything to keep the baby growing in her healthy.
But on the Friday, she was having cramps in her tummy, like one of those period cramps. And later that day, she felt it. She went to check on herself and found that the amount of blood was a lot more than the normal stains she had been having. “This is not happening. It couldn’t be it”. She refused to seek doctor’s advice until her sister pestered her into doing so. So she went to the nearest clinic to see a regular doctor. The doctor scanned her stomach and informed her that her stomach was empty. There seemed to be nothing there. She couldn’t believe her ears. She repeatedly asked the doctor to check and scan again. The doctor did, and still the same anwer was given. She cried. Devastated by what the doctor said. But she had hope. She would go to her doctor, the specialist, the one she went to, to remove her cyst. She will get a second opinion.
Later that night, she met with her doctor. The doctor scanned her again. This time using the contraption that had to be inserted into the uterus, normally used in the very early pregnancy as the normal scanner would not be able to scan a newly-formed life. The truth pained her. The doctor confirmed that there was no baby. She had had a miscarriage and it was best that she undergo a D&C. To make matters worst, the doctor suggested that she undergo another operation to remove the cyst currently in her ovary. She was despaired. Distraught at the fact that she was no longer pregnant and the doctor’s suggestion for the operation did not help. It was just too overwhelming.
She couldn’t think. She was upset. She was sad. Her husband shared her sorrows. After numerous phone calls seeking advice from everyone she knew, on Saturday, she was wheeled into the operation theatre. The cyst was removed.
I received her text message telling me that she was sad on Sunday. I tried calling her, but her husband said she was asleep. She was on epidural so that the pain can be alleviated. So the following Monday, I went to the hospital to visit her. She looked alright. Not in pain or anything, thanks for the epidural which was constantly injected at the back of her spine. But she also looked very sad. She was upset that her stomach was now flatter, and she resented seeing another colleague of ours who was pregnant. The pregnant colleague also came to visit her. I didn’t say much. I wouldn’t want to give her headaches or anything. She received a lot of advices from those who came to visit. But I couldn’t make myself say much. I was just there so that I could give her emotional support. The loss was terrible for her. But when most of them had left, I talked to her, and told her to be patient and consider this as no luck and not rezeki. And that who knows, she might even be pregnant with twins. She looked dejected. And I didn’t know what else to say.
Before I left, I kissed her forehead and told her to get well. I told her not to think about getting pregnant. Allah works in mysterious ways and who knows what luck holds in for her.
She is still on medical leave. Her depression is now over and now she is concentrating on getting well. Let’s all pray for her well-being, ok.
4 comments:
Yuppp, she should not give up on getting pregnant again but of course she must put her life 1st before anything else. An acquintance of mine had a miscarriage during her 1st time pregnancy and she had a cyst removed. Then she got pregnant again and this time she did give birth to a baby girl.
Ur fren only has one ovary? Teruk nya kes cyst dia yea. But better that then having cervical cancer, nauzubillah min zaalik.
That dejected feelings reminded of Charlotte York (kristin davis) in sex n the city during those moments when she had had her miscarriage. She was so sad and she locked herself up, and not even bothered about taking care of herself. Pastu she went on watching documentaries on her idol, elizabeth taylor, and soon she left her apartment wearing a liz-taylor-like 60s dress and a huge sunglasses and got her self esteem back.
Give ur fren some time to cool down. Heran kan, those ladies yg tak nak anak, senang jer get pregnant and then dumping their babies like a piece of garbage. But those yg sungguh2 sgt nak anak, Allah kasi mcm2 dugaan!
rezeki...suruh dia believe in miracles. i've seen a patient who was infertile, then resorted to ivf (in vitro fertilisation). two years later, she is pregnant.
Insha' Allah, I'll pray for her, and Insha' Allah, she'll get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby one day... And should situation requires so, there's always an option of adoption. I think it's up to her and her hubby to decide what's best for them.
Manal, those people who end up getting pregnant and then dumping their babies, most of them are more into the pleasures of having sex with their pre-marital partners, than about having and raising their own babies.
Most likely, if the women who get pregnant after sex with their legal and halal husbands, should they want to give up their babies for some reasons like poverty etc, they'd most likely do so in the most humane manner, like giving the babies up for adoption or smthing.
Manal,
Yeah.. she only has one ovary left. Kesian dia. And she's still very young. I think she's 29 this year.
I-Lyn,
IVF here in Malaysia is considered quite expensive. Unless your household salary is below RM2,500 then you can resort to that Yayasan thingy (by the sultanah Kedah I think, I'm not too sure). Otherwise, you have to pay yourself. Minimum RM15k per IVF treatement. That's what my friends are saying here lah. But yes, I will definitely ask her to pray for miracles. Thank you, dear.
Pisces Man,
Thanks for the wish.
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