My Brother Is A Married Man

Last Thursday, we had a small kenduri doa selamat at my parents’ house in conjunction with my brother’s wedding the following day. Bie and I (after much persistence from Ayah) decided to also do a cukur jambul event for Raqib on that, capitalizing on the kenduri for my brother. The fact that the kenduri happened to fall on our 5th wedding anniversary, I also took the opportunity for the doa recitals to be ‘donated’ for the happiness of our marriage.

The next morning, everyone was bustling in the house, getting ready to leave for Pahang. My brother reserved a few rooms at a local resthouse and Ayah wanted to leave early so that we would have ample time to get ready in time for the akad nikah session after Maghrib. There were a lot of rushing here and there, but finally we got everyone ready and left my parents’ house at about 1pm. There were about 5 cars from Seremban. A few more cars met us half way on the way to Pahang.

We reached the resthouse at about 4pm. The hantaran were placed in my parents’ room so that they could be given last minute touch up. My daughter had forgotten about me, thanks to my little cousins. Marsya had so many aunts looking out for her that she didn’t want to bother herself with me. Raqib on the other hand, didn’t want to let me out of his sight. At about 6pm, everyone was busy getting ready. I had to look for Marsya and carry her to the bathroom to bathe her.

At about 7.45pm, everyone was already downstairs at the parking lot waiting for the groom. My brother walked down the stairs. He looked so dashing in his cream baju melayu which was embroidered at the neck and the sleeves, with a cream sampin and a songkok on his head. Suddenly I felt emotional. I had tears in my eyes when I saw him. Though he looked nervous, he was happy. Flashes of chubby face and him wearing my dress when we were small cropped up in my head. I turned my head away and focused on holding the heavy cake.

We reached the bride’s house at about 8pm. Unfortunately the Tok Imam was not there yet. He wanted to perform his solat Isyak first. So we waited at the house. My brother looked very nervous. I could see it in his face. Once in a while he would smile, when the Tok Ketua Kampung jested with him. Others around him may see him as very calm. But I know him. He was a nervous wreck. But he recited a few zikir to calm himself down. I could see that too. When the Tok Imam finally arrived, everyone smiled with anticipation knowing what was to come.

My brother seated himself opposite the Tok Imam. He had a glass of water and waited patiently. My dearest Bie sat next to him. Giving him comfort in view of what was to come. A few messages and advices were exchanged especially the recital of the khutbah nikah, not to mention the practice session (for the akad to take place) and soon after, the actual akad nikah occurred.

The Tok Imam held out his hand and called my brother’s name. My brother accepted the hand.

“Aku nikahkan dikau dengan… tunai”.

“Aku terima nikahnya…. tunai”. The witnesses nodded their heads indicating that it was sah. And that was it. My brother was a married man. He took a glass of water to take a sip and his hands where shaking. The rest was history.

Ibu introduced her new daughter-in-law to our relatives. We exchanged hugs and kisses, while the new husband and wife took some photos at the hantaran. Then we were ushered to have our dinner.

I was so hungry because I only had mee curry during the day at the rest area before we arrived Pahang. But unfortunately there was only a little rice left. Even the lauk was not replenished. So there were not many foods to eat. The men had food (but very little, mind you somehow the dishes weren’t replenished) but the women didn’t. So we loitered around waiting for the food. We would expect that the host would attend to us immediately, but imagine our horror when no one came to ask our well-being. Some of my aunties were already upset. One of them started to complain rather loud. Ibu kept quiet and did not say a word. There were plans to leave the function and eat at nearby restaurants. I don’t know how long we waited, but no one came to us to say anything. I was mad. But I kept cool. My aunts were making noises. The father of the bride approached Ibu and asked whether we have eaten to which one of my aunts said, “Macamana nak makan. Nasi tak ada” roughly translated, “What to eat when there’s no rice”. The father was slightly embarrassed and immediately went to the back area of the house.

We waited again. I don’t really know how long we waited, but I felt that it was eternity. Finally the rice came. The lauk were also replenished. The host even fried some eggs for us. One of the hosts (I think it’s the bride’s sister-in-law) apologized for the delay and ushered us to have our dinner. So finally we ate. Luckily the lauk was good. But by that time, I was having stomach ache. So I couldn’t really enjoy the lauk. But get this, the mother didn’t even come out to check on us. In fact, she even changed into her kaftan while we were still around.

After that, we took pictures with the new couple, had coffee and headed back to the resthouse. It was past 11.30pm. I pity my brother though. He didn’t eat anything until it was after 12am after all the photo-taking was over. I mean, not to compare or anything, but when I got married last time, right after the akad nikah where all the guests were invited for dinner, my side (the host at that time) prepared food for us (Bie and I) to eat because they knew that the night was still long and they wouldn’t want us to go hungry.

The next day was the actual reception. At about noon, we headed towards the bride’s house. We were asked to wait at a house opposite the bride’s while the new couple got ready. Then we walked around the block to walk with the groom for the groom to meet his bride. This time around, I didn’t wait around. I immediately went to eat. At first I waited with Ibu at the bride’s house. But no one seemed to be saying anything to us. The new couple was being rejoiced and tepung tawar by the guests, but NO ONE called my parents; the groom’s parents to tepung tawar. So we waited and waited. I was mad. So I went out of the house and walked towards the tent. I was hungry and I wanted to eat.

While I was eating, the Mak Andam looked for me and told me to eat at the special table with the bride and the groom. But I was in the middle of eating already. I couldn’t possibly leave my food and eat at another table. So I finished my food and thereafter walked to the special table. My parents were eating. So were some of my other aunts. Ayah insisted that I joined them even though I had eaten. So I sat at the table and ate (again… I know..), but I didn’t take rice. I ate fried prawns, pekedil (very nice) and some desserts. It was alright.

After that, we took pictures. I understand later that they did call my parents for the tepung tawar, but it was after all the bride’s side have done theirs. And it wasn’t even the host that called upon my parents to do that, it was the Mak Andam.

We left at about 3pm. It was hot and everyone was tired. We bid farewell to the host. Mind you that the mother didn’t even bid us farewell. Ibu had to seek her out to say goodbye. It’s like as if she is only into my brother, but not the whole family. I don’t know. That could just be my feeling and I might be wrong. Oh well…

So the next reception will be at my parents’ in Seremban. I hope it’ll be a smooth-sailing event. After what happened in Pahang, I know that Ayah will take EXTRA care to entertain his future besan. After all, we have to learn to respect our guests, right.

Meanwhile, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE..!!