Till Death Do Us Part

There have been no break-ups or separation in my family, which includes my aunts and uncles on both my parents’ side. That doesn’t mean that they don’t argue, coz I’m sure they do. But somehow the word ‘divorce’ is like a taboo. They’d rather stay with each other even if they’re doing two very separate thing. One would be at the golf course or hanging out with friends, while the partner would be doing over time at the office. When relatives come to visit, they’d play the role of a happy and normal couple, which I think is really weird. But separate? I don’t know whether the idea ever entered their minds.

Among my friends too, well close friends that is, not many of their parents are divorced. Their parents would have problems, but somehow, they’d stick together. I know of a friend whose father is really…err… a bit of a problem. He would have girlfriends and all, and hung out at few ‘dangdut’ spots. There was this one time, my friend’s boyfriend was playing (he’s in a band) at this particular dangdut joint and imagined his surprise when he saw his prospective, future father-in-law dancing with another woman who was not his wife. My friend was really upset but when she told her mother, her mother just kept quiet. The last time I heard, they’re still married but just not living under the same roof.

Sometimes I wonder why these couples stay together if emotionally and perhaps physically, they have already drifted apart from one another. Is it for the children? But what if the children have all grown up? I’m sure they would understand if their parents want a divorce. But come to think of it, would I be able to accept the idea that my parents are going to get a divorce? This is hypothetically speaking, ok. My parents are not divorced.

I don’t know. It’s hard to say. Some couples stay together for the sake of the children. But when the children have all grown up and are mature to understand what’s going on, they head for Splits Ville. I wonder what it’s like for those children. Would they be ok with it? Would they hate their parents’ guts? Would they have taken a different view if their parents were to have divorced when they were much younger?

It’s really nice to see some couples who not only stay old together, but are still loving and caring towards one another. The fact that they are not embarrassed to show the affections they have is even more remarkable. But alas, not many Malaysians are like that. Sad to admit it, but it’s true. I guess it’s the culture. Well, I pray that I am one of those couples. And I pray that my parents are one of those happy couples as well.