Raya tahun ni memang rasa macam tak raya lah. I didn’t go anywhere at all. All the open house invites had to be ignored. I didn’t have any appetite at all. Nak minum air pun tak lalu. Pasal bulan puasa, well… I tried to fast for as long as I could but somehow, my body got the best of me. I missed 21 days. Pengsan nak ganti balik tu. But even when I didn’t fast, I couldn’t eat anything. My morning sickness (or daily sickness as I prefer to call it) was terrible. I was just like a bag of lead, baring jer biler tak bermaya. And I only came to the office whenever I felt like it. Asyik MC jer. Rasa tak larat, pergi baring kat surau. Kadang-kadang tu, rasa nak crawl under the table and lie down. Luckily Boss Kecik faham. Him having a pregnant wife as we speak. So he didn’t pressure me too much. I was weak. Sampai jer office, terus masuk toilet and vomit. It was terrible. I lost weight. Quite a lot (I liked it actually). Dah tak lalu makan, nak buat macamana. It’s not like as if I was on a crash diet or something. I couldn’t eat..!!
Kasihan my daughter. During the period which I couldn’t take care of her, I sent her to stay with my aunty. Maksu baby-sits her anyway. Sebab, if I’m not eating, she also wouldn’t be eating. And I don’t want her to suffer on my account. It’s better that she stayed with Maksu. She has friends there and is also well-fed. Biler orang tanya, “Marsya mana?”. My dearest Bie would say, “Hantar dia duduk hostel”. Kasihan Marsya.
By my third month, I was still not doing well. I was vomiting and not eating. So when I went for my monthly check-up, my doctor knew that I was (and am) suffering from a terrible daily sickness. She was worried that I lost 3kg in a matter of month. So, she admitted me. Masuk air and glucose. Because I was too weak at that time, I agreed with her. Anything to regain my energy. So, I was immediately hospitalized. At first I thought duduk hospital sehari jer. But when my doctor did her morning check on me, she said, “You are severely dehydrated. I’m going to ask you to stay another night at the hospital”. At first I didn’t want to. I was bored to death lah. The ward didn’t have a TV and despite the fact that it was a four-person ward, I was the only one there. Mana ada pesakit lain. But she’s the doctor and since dia insisted I stayed another night at the hospital, I relented, provided I get transferred to the single room ward where there’s a TV. So my doctor asked the nurse to take my request into account.
Ingat masuk air tak sakit. Well, memanglah tak sakit, but the cucuk of the syringe to begin the process nak masuk air tu was damn painful. Not to mention masa dia inject ubat masuk kat dalam saluran getah tu. I felt like my heart beat would stop functioning there and then. Bear with me, I am afraid of hospitals. I have never been hospitalized expect for when I gave birth to Marsya. And when the blood was clotted and the water didn’t go through, the nurses had to flush the saline water onto my veins using the syringe. Sakitlah.
I didn’t tell anyone I was hospitalized. I messaged a few friends though, and of course my office knew. I told Maksu and my parents, but I told them not to visit me sebab bukan cedera parah pun (Alhamdulillah), masuk air jer. Even my in-laws didn’t know. They only knew when Bie saw his father at one of the shops near the hospital; he was looking to buy a lock. I didn’t want to worry anyone. A friend came to visit on my second night. She brought me loads of books to read. Bukan baca pun. Baca satu buku and that was that.
All in all, masuklah 9 botol air. Ok lagi tu. My mother masuk 16 botol when she had me. My doctor graciously gave me a week of medical leave. Dia suruh rehat kat rumah.
I have to admit that being hospitalized did help me. It gave me energy and appetite to eat. So, I do eat these days. Kira dah ada selera makan, but tak sepenuhnya. Tak semua benda boleh masuk. What I eat these days is nasi and masak lemak kuning sebab takder bawang. Otherwise, tahan tak makan. Tak bolehlah. And the only lauk I can take is fish. Ayam ke, other types of seafood ke, sorry lah. Tak tertelan kat anak tekak nie.
When I got back to the office, my colleagues created quite a buzz over me. Semua tanya dah ok ke belumlah, dah boleh makan ke belum, kurusnya – makan lebih sikit, etc, etc. Sampai tak terlarat nak jawab. But all of them said I looked much better. I guess I do. In fact, I feel a lot better too. I still cannot stand smell and though I cannot eat ALL food, at least I’m eating. That’s a good start. I even have a baby bump now. Not that big, but still. Better than nothing.
I am now coming to 4 months in a week. I really hope that this daily sickness will be over soon. Tak laratlah macam ni. I think this time around it’s quite bad compared to the first one. That’s why I didn’t update the blog. I just TAK LARAT nak write anything. I wasn’t focused and I didn’t have the mood. My works pun banyak pending. But I really hope that this’ll all be over soon.
Kasihan my daughter. During the period which I couldn’t take care of her, I sent her to stay with my aunty. Maksu baby-sits her anyway. Sebab, if I’m not eating, she also wouldn’t be eating. And I don’t want her to suffer on my account. It’s better that she stayed with Maksu. She has friends there and is also well-fed. Biler orang tanya, “Marsya mana?”. My dearest Bie would say, “Hantar dia duduk hostel”. Kasihan Marsya.
By my third month, I was still not doing well. I was vomiting and not eating. So when I went for my monthly check-up, my doctor knew that I was (and am) suffering from a terrible daily sickness. She was worried that I lost 3kg in a matter of month. So, she admitted me. Masuk air and glucose. Because I was too weak at that time, I agreed with her. Anything to regain my energy. So, I was immediately hospitalized. At first I thought duduk hospital sehari jer. But when my doctor did her morning check on me, she said, “You are severely dehydrated. I’m going to ask you to stay another night at the hospital”. At first I didn’t want to. I was bored to death lah. The ward didn’t have a TV and despite the fact that it was a four-person ward, I was the only one there. Mana ada pesakit lain. But she’s the doctor and since dia insisted I stayed another night at the hospital, I relented, provided I get transferred to the single room ward where there’s a TV. So my doctor asked the nurse to take my request into account.
Ingat masuk air tak sakit. Well, memanglah tak sakit, but the cucuk of the syringe to begin the process nak masuk air tu was damn painful. Not to mention masa dia inject ubat masuk kat dalam saluran getah tu. I felt like my heart beat would stop functioning there and then. Bear with me, I am afraid of hospitals. I have never been hospitalized expect for when I gave birth to Marsya. And when the blood was clotted and the water didn’t go through, the nurses had to flush the saline water onto my veins using the syringe. Sakitlah.
I didn’t tell anyone I was hospitalized. I messaged a few friends though, and of course my office knew. I told Maksu and my parents, but I told them not to visit me sebab bukan cedera parah pun (Alhamdulillah), masuk air jer. Even my in-laws didn’t know. They only knew when Bie saw his father at one of the shops near the hospital; he was looking to buy a lock. I didn’t want to worry anyone. A friend came to visit on my second night. She brought me loads of books to read. Bukan baca pun. Baca satu buku and that was that.
All in all, masuklah 9 botol air. Ok lagi tu. My mother masuk 16 botol when she had me. My doctor graciously gave me a week of medical leave. Dia suruh rehat kat rumah.
I have to admit that being hospitalized did help me. It gave me energy and appetite to eat. So, I do eat these days. Kira dah ada selera makan, but tak sepenuhnya. Tak semua benda boleh masuk. What I eat these days is nasi and masak lemak kuning sebab takder bawang. Otherwise, tahan tak makan. Tak bolehlah. And the only lauk I can take is fish. Ayam ke, other types of seafood ke, sorry lah. Tak tertelan kat anak tekak nie.
When I got back to the office, my colleagues created quite a buzz over me. Semua tanya dah ok ke belumlah, dah boleh makan ke belum, kurusnya – makan lebih sikit, etc, etc. Sampai tak terlarat nak jawab. But all of them said I looked much better. I guess I do. In fact, I feel a lot better too. I still cannot stand smell and though I cannot eat ALL food, at least I’m eating. That’s a good start. I even have a baby bump now. Not that big, but still. Better than nothing.
I am now coming to 4 months in a week. I really hope that this daily sickness will be over soon. Tak laratlah macam ni. I think this time around it’s quite bad compared to the first one. That’s why I didn’t update the blog. I just TAK LARAT nak write anything. I wasn’t focused and I didn’t have the mood. My works pun banyak pending. But I really hope that this’ll all be over soon.
4 comments:
I am glad to hear you are feeling better now. Dont stress yourself, kalau dah tak kisah, amik mc and rest!
Thanks. Feeling not too bad these days. So, I don't think I'll be taking anymore mc's unless I really have to. Besides, my performance review is coming and by the looks of it, I haven't been 'too performing' lately. :)
Alaa... surely your boss won't badmouth you since boss kecik u tu understand your situation. Or perhaps, he might back you up in your productivity review? Hehe...
Dunno lah Abdun... that remains to be seen. But crossing my fingers here.. :)
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