I was having dinner last night at my parents’ house when my third brother, Ayon said, “Ayon akan pindah JB minggu depan”. I stopped eating and stared at him.
“You mean like pindah sana for good ker?”
“Pindah as in duduk kat sana”.
“You mean sewa rumah semua and balik Seremban hujung minggu jer?”
“Mula-mula tak sewa dulu. Duduk rumah kakak kawan Ayon. Then maybe carik bilik ker”.
“Do you know that the cost of living in JB is not cheap? Mahal tau. And nanti nak bayar sewa lagi, makan lagi, and goodness macam-macam lagi. Are you sure?”
“Sini susahlah Long. Seremban takder market. Puas Ayon ronda satu Seremban including Seremban 2, but bil telefon diorang setakat RM100 jer or if lebih pun sikit. Susah…”.
I kept quiet. “Tapi gaji tak tetap. Macamana nak survive in JB?”
“Ayon akan dapat komisen”.
“Setakat komisen, tapi tak tentu. Tak tetap. The point is, kau asyik buat semua ni dah dapat belum any income?”
“Kalau tak keja camner nak dapat duit”.
“Yeah I know. But meanwhile, your set up cost staying there, sapa bayar? Ayah?”
“Alah.. Ayon ada duit sikit”, he mumbled, eating his rice without looking at my face.
“Along tak taulah Yon. Susah hati Along kau nak ke sana. Takder duit ke nanti, how?”
“Susah Long kat sini. Kat JB market dia besar lagi. Budak-budak dia tak buat keje. KL pulak, competition banyak. So, Ayon rasa memang Ayon kena gi JB lah”.
I kept quiet. He was adamant to go to JB. I worry about him. He doesn’t have a fixed income job. How is he going to survive in JB? His eyes are only on the huge commission if he gets to lobby a proposal for a phone company. That is, if he succeeds in getting a project from that of a potential client. Otherwise, he’ll have nothing. I told him to continue his study. Do a degree. A diploma is SO NOT sufficient these days. But he didn’t want to. He said he pitied Ayah as he would have to pay for his education when Ayah also has to pay for Haikal’s. When I told him to get a proper job, he ignored me completely. He kept on talking about the huge commission he’s going to get if he gets a project.
I know that he’s 26 but in my mind I still see him as my younger brother. I still see him smiling from ear to ear sitting on Ibu’s lap or clinging to Ibu when he wanted something. He was the youngest and dimanjai oleh everyone, until Haikal came into the picture that is. Whatever it is, he’s my brother and I fear for him. Is it time for me to let go? [Sigh]… I don’t know. I just can’t seem to let go. Ni belum Haikal lagi ni.
“So Along balik tak minggu depan? Ayon nak pergi JB hari Ahad minggu depan”.
“Hhmm.. Along tak baliklah minggu depan Yon. This weekend kan dah balik. Why don’t you come to KL? Before pergi JB”.
“Tengoklah camner. Ayon balik weekend ke Seremban. Dalam dua minggu sekali. So kita jumpalah nanti”.
“Well, you are always welcome to visit me in KL before you go to JB”.
That night before leaving for KL, I woke him up to tell him that I was going home. He salam my hands and kissed them. I felt my eyes watery. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to grab him and hug him tightly, to tell him to take care of himself in a big city such as JB. But Ayon and I…, well, we don’t do hugs. Unlike Haikal who would kiss my hands and both my cheeks whenever he salam me, and he’s already 18.
I pray that he’ll get lots of projects so that he’ll receive a huge amount of commission. I so badly want to see this thing work out for him. He deserves it. He truly deserves it… [sigh]… It’s so hard to let go…
“You mean like pindah sana for good ker?”
“Pindah as in duduk kat sana”.
“You mean sewa rumah semua and balik Seremban hujung minggu jer?”
“Mula-mula tak sewa dulu. Duduk rumah kakak kawan Ayon. Then maybe carik bilik ker”.
“Do you know that the cost of living in JB is not cheap? Mahal tau. And nanti nak bayar sewa lagi, makan lagi, and goodness macam-macam lagi. Are you sure?”
“Sini susahlah Long. Seremban takder market. Puas Ayon ronda satu Seremban including Seremban 2, but bil telefon diorang setakat RM100 jer or if lebih pun sikit. Susah…”.
I kept quiet. “Tapi gaji tak tetap. Macamana nak survive in JB?”
“Ayon akan dapat komisen”.
“Setakat komisen, tapi tak tentu. Tak tetap. The point is, kau asyik buat semua ni dah dapat belum any income?”
“Kalau tak keja camner nak dapat duit”.
“Yeah I know. But meanwhile, your set up cost staying there, sapa bayar? Ayah?”
“Alah.. Ayon ada duit sikit”, he mumbled, eating his rice without looking at my face.
“Along tak taulah Yon. Susah hati Along kau nak ke sana. Takder duit ke nanti, how?”
“Susah Long kat sini. Kat JB market dia besar lagi. Budak-budak dia tak buat keje. KL pulak, competition banyak. So, Ayon rasa memang Ayon kena gi JB lah”.
I kept quiet. He was adamant to go to JB. I worry about him. He doesn’t have a fixed income job. How is he going to survive in JB? His eyes are only on the huge commission if he gets to lobby a proposal for a phone company. That is, if he succeeds in getting a project from that of a potential client. Otherwise, he’ll have nothing. I told him to continue his study. Do a degree. A diploma is SO NOT sufficient these days. But he didn’t want to. He said he pitied Ayah as he would have to pay for his education when Ayah also has to pay for Haikal’s. When I told him to get a proper job, he ignored me completely. He kept on talking about the huge commission he’s going to get if he gets a project.
I know that he’s 26 but in my mind I still see him as my younger brother. I still see him smiling from ear to ear sitting on Ibu’s lap or clinging to Ibu when he wanted something. He was the youngest and dimanjai oleh everyone, until Haikal came into the picture that is. Whatever it is, he’s my brother and I fear for him. Is it time for me to let go? [Sigh]… I don’t know. I just can’t seem to let go. Ni belum Haikal lagi ni.
“So Along balik tak minggu depan? Ayon nak pergi JB hari Ahad minggu depan”.
“Hhmm.. Along tak baliklah minggu depan Yon. This weekend kan dah balik. Why don’t you come to KL? Before pergi JB”.
“Tengoklah camner. Ayon balik weekend ke Seremban. Dalam dua minggu sekali. So kita jumpalah nanti”.
“Well, you are always welcome to visit me in KL before you go to JB”.
That night before leaving for KL, I woke him up to tell him that I was going home. He salam my hands and kissed them. I felt my eyes watery. I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to grab him and hug him tightly, to tell him to take care of himself in a big city such as JB. But Ayon and I…, well, we don’t do hugs. Unlike Haikal who would kiss my hands and both my cheeks whenever he salam me, and he’s already 18.
I pray that he’ll get lots of projects so that he’ll receive a huge amount of commission. I so badly want to see this thing work out for him. He deserves it. He truly deserves it… [sigh]… It’s so hard to let go…
2 comments:
Ija, so your brother made up his mind already? Hope he'll make it great in JB.... and hope, the company he's attached to is a reliable one. With regards..
Yup. He's made up his mind. There's just no denying him from going there. He's currently staying at his friend's sister's place. Later, both of them will look for a room to share. I sure hope that this thing he's doing will pull through and that he'll earn strong flow of income from it, Insya Allah...
Thanks for the wish :)
Post a Comment